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rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place. : rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full...

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rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place. : Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend's Shower Routine NEWS Local Relationships ISSUE 49-29 Jul 16, 2013 23 Jacob Ferris, 25, has no idea what his girlfriend Sarah uses this rock in her shower for rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full e...

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lolzandtrollz:Guy Goes Online To Complain, The Best Thing Happens: This is probably the best customer service exchange ever... Netflix Customer Service You are now chatting with: Michael 16 minutes ago You I have a problem to report Netilix Michael This is Cpt. Mike of the good ship Netfiox, which member of the crew am I speaking with 6 minutes ag 6 minutes ag You 6 minutes ago Greetings, Captain. Lt. Norm here 15 minutes ago Engineering has a problem to report Netflix Michael LT, what seems to be the problem? 15 minutes ago 5 minutes ag Visual displays are erratic, sir 4 minutes ago season 5, episode 13 of Parks and Recreation is behaving oddly Netflix Michael How so, LT? You at 5 minutes of operation You 4 minutes ago 4 minutes ago 14 minutes ago 4 minutes ago the visual creates a temporal loop 4 minutes ag and nearly 3 seconds of footage repeats over and over again 3 minutes ago Our ship seems to be immune to the eflect, as our lves are not actually repeating over and over Netflix Michael Oh, no. LTI told you no watching Netfiox while we sail through the Burmuda Triangle. ) 3 minstes a 3 minutes ago Dammit, m an engineer, not a navigator Netflix Michael 3 minutes ago 2 minutes ago We are not sure whether our instruments are at fault, or if some anomaly is present Netflix Micha LT Norm, does this happen at any other points on any other shows? minutes ago 11 สunutes ago But, this temporal loop has occurred at the same place on three separate days You no other episodes of ether Parks and Rec or other shows have been affected You We have attempted restarting the episode from the beginning, and she didn't budge minutes ag 0 minutes ago 0 minutes ago Netflix Micha LT. that is no good at all. 0 minutes ag We also attempted to start the episode "after the anomaly, and we were pulled back in and the loop continued minsites ag Ok. I will get this issue fagged so our techs can look at it minutes ag Worst of all, Captain.. the dalogue . It looped over Councilwoman Knope saying, This s real lide. This is real Ide. This is real lde WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Netflix Michal minutes ag HAHA Netlix Michal That is a homible place to get stuck Netflix Michaal Councilwoman Knope is such a worrier minutes ag 8 minutes ago 1 minutes ag Indeed, Captain. Netlix Michael 0 minutes ago 0 minutes ago [Oh, also, your report a problem with streaming wasn't working a minute ago. Hence this chat, which also happens to be best customer senice experience I think I have ever minutes ago Well thank you. Netllix Michael We got that reported on our end minutes ag minutes ago This needs to go on a blog somewhere minutes ag you will get a prompt to receive a transcript of this conversation when we are done. 8minutes ago Netflix Michael LT Norm, are there any other Netflix issues I could help you with today? You I almost wish there were minutes ago 7 minutes ago minutes ago Hehe:) Have a wonderful night. And one more thing, if you wouldn't mind, please stay online for a one question survey You minutes ago This chat session has ended you satisfied with your Netflix experience? No Thanks for your feedback you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz:Guy Goes Online To Complain, The Best Thing Happens

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rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place. : Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend's Shower Routine NEWS Local Relationships ISSUE 49-29 Jul 16, 2013 23 Jacob Ferris, 25, has no idea what his girlfriend Sarah uses this rock in her shower for rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full...

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flamestpatrick: one-in-lemillion: peteseeger: one-in-lemillion: peteseeger: one-in-lemillion: postmarxed: Alright I’m out of the loop, what’d she do wrong that y’all want her dead She herself had no part in that tho. What’d she do personally is what I’m asking. To quote James Connolly: “We will not blame [her] for the crimes of [her] ancestors if [she] relents the royal rights of [her] ancestors; but as long as [she] claims their rights, by virtue of descent, then, by virtue of descent, [she] must shoulder the responsibility for their crimes.” Y’know that’s fair actually Never seen someone actually change their stance on this site, RT for good luck : USA TODAY Queen Elizabeth Il cancels St. Paul's Cathedral appearance due to illness 6 hours ago Global NEWS Queen Elizabeth feeling 'under the weather', cancels public event 7 hours ago 4 CTV News Queen Elizabeth Il 'under the weather, cancels appearance 5 hours ago flamestpatrick: one-in-lemillion: peteseeger: one-in-lemillion: peteseeger: one-in-lemillion: postmarxed: Alright I’m out of the loop, what’d she do wrong that y’all want her dead She herself had no part in that tho. What’d she do personally is what I’m asking. To quote James Connolly: “We will not blame [her] for the crimes of [her] ancestors if [she] relents the royal rights of [her] ancestors; but as long as [she] claims their rights, by virtue of descent, then, by virtue of descent, [she] must shoulder the responsibility for their crimes.” Y’know that’s fair actually Never seen someone actually change their stance on this site, RT for good luck

flamestpatrick: one-in-lemillion: peteseeger: one-in-lemillion: peteseeger: one-in-lemillion: postmarxed: Alright I’m out of t...

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rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place. : Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend's Shower Routine NEWS Local Relationships ISSUE 49-29 Jul 16, 2013 23 Jacob Ferris, 25, has no idea what his girlfriend Sarah uses this rock in her shower for rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full e...

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Last week I was driving on Lower Wacker, a big tunnel that go underneath Chicago. They filmed Batman there. It’s dope because u can drive fast AF and the lights whoosh by u and u feel like Batman for a sec before u come back to reality and realize u just a idiot in a Camry 🤗. So I hit the off ramp to get into the loop. Stopped completely. Long red light? 🤔 12 minutes later tho? Sumting Wong. I get out and walk and see two trucks stuck with they lights blinking. They ain’t going anywhere. And it’s a long, one way ramp. Now I done seent the movies bruv. When the tunnel is locked off like this and cars can’t go nowhere? This is where the Arabian terrorists (played by jewish actors with aggressive beards who do they best Arabic accent but really Issa Israeli accent - I see u Hollywood 🤗😂) jump out and gas everyone. Nah ✋. So I talk to some construction workers and I’m like “I’m backing everybody up” and they like *skrong Chicago accents* “IT’S IMPASSIBLE (impossible) DA CARS CAN’T BACK OUT OFF DA RAMP INTO TRAFFIC”. I’m like “bish watch”. So last car in line, Ol boy in Connie’s pizza truck who was barely onto the ramp? I negotiated with him to back straight back into the main tunnel. Then two sedans. A big a$$ delivery truck. A pickup truck. Basically just promising them it will be ok (it wasn’t Ok, someone could have come around the bend and onto the ramp too fast and killed us but I had to get to lunch with a client bruv if u gon get between me and my money u gon HAVE to kill me 🤗😂). Then me. I drive a lil coupe so I actually did a three point turn into a small loading dock and drove the wrong way out the ramp. The construction workers was like “this a$$hole in a suit did it” and I just waved at them like “ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE KEEP GOD FIRST BLESS UP”. I tell this story because everybody on the damn ramp had accepted and resigned themselves to they fate. They was all frantically telling the people at the place they was supposed to be that they’ll be delayed. I wasn’t gonna be resigned to my fate. GET UNSTUCK. IT WILL ENTAIL SOME RISK. BUT HELP YOURSELF AND OTHERS AND WITH GOD’S HELP YOU’LL BREAK FREE AND FLY. BLESS UP ❤️: Thought I should share this pic of my tiny wrinkly pup Pic: reddit u/Chris Vin54 @DrSmashlove Last week I was driving on Lower Wacker, a big tunnel that go underneath Chicago. They filmed Batman there. It’s dope because u can drive fast AF and the lights whoosh by u and u feel like Batman for a sec before u come back to reality and realize u just a idiot in a Camry 🤗. So I hit the off ramp to get into the loop. Stopped completely. Long red light? 🤔 12 minutes later tho? Sumting Wong. I get out and walk and see two trucks stuck with they lights blinking. They ain’t going anywhere. And it’s a long, one way ramp. Now I done seent the movies bruv. When the tunnel is locked off like this and cars can’t go nowhere? This is where the Arabian terrorists (played by jewish actors with aggressive beards who do they best Arabic accent but really Issa Israeli accent - I see u Hollywood 🤗😂) jump out and gas everyone. Nah ✋. So I talk to some construction workers and I’m like “I’m backing everybody up” and they like *skrong Chicago accents* “IT’S IMPASSIBLE (impossible) DA CARS CAN’T BACK OUT OFF DA RAMP INTO TRAFFIC”. I’m like “bish watch”. So last car in line, Ol boy in Connie’s pizza truck who was barely onto the ramp? I negotiated with him to back straight back into the main tunnel. Then two sedans. A big a$$ delivery truck. A pickup truck. Basically just promising them it will be ok (it wasn’t Ok, someone could have come around the bend and onto the ramp too fast and killed us but I had to get to lunch with a client bruv if u gon get between me and my money u gon HAVE to kill me 🤗😂). Then me. I drive a lil coupe so I actually did a three point turn into a small loading dock and drove the wrong way out the ramp. The construction workers was like “this a$$hole in a suit did it” and I just waved at them like “ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE KEEP GOD FIRST BLESS UP”. I tell this story because everybody on the damn ramp had accepted and resigned themselves to they fate. They was all frantically telling the people at the place they was supposed to be that they’ll be delayed. I wasn’t gonna be resigned to my fate. GET UNSTUCK. IT WILL ENTAIL SOME RISK. BUT HELP YOURSELF AND OTHERS AND WITH GOD’S HELP YOU’LL BREAK FREE AND FLY. BLESS UP ❤️
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<p><a href="http://bullettime20.tumblr.com/post/158906449393/the-lost-alchemist-libertarirynn-are-yall" class="tumblr_blog">bullettime20</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/158905591739/the-lost-alchemist-libertarirynn-are-yall" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://the-lost-alchemist.tumblr.com/post/158905360116/are-yall-ready-to-witness-a-damn-murder" class="tumblr_blog">the-lost-alchemist</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/158903934169/are-yall-ready-to-witness-a-damn-murder" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Are ya’ll ready to witness a damn murder?</p></blockquote> <p>I am out of the loop can someone explain this to me?</p> </blockquote> <p>Blaire White: A transgender anti-SJW who makes videos on all kinds of hot button topics like being anti-feminism and rejecting the idea of there being more than two genders.</p><p>Laci Green: White feminism personified. Celebrated being a homewrecker. Praised the Baltimore riots. Had a meltdown on Twitter when Trump won. Basically your textbook bitter feminist with a YouTube channel. </p><p>Blaire can be a bit much and Laci is usually waaaaaaay too much and they’re basically as far opposite on the spectrum as you can get. Grab your popcorn and get comfortable. </p></blockquote> <p>Lacing Green said on Twitter that she actually likes Blaire.</p></blockquote> <p>I have to say I&rsquo;m pretty surprised she&rsquo;s arranging the discussion. From what I hear it was her idea.</p>: Blaire White 1 hr On Wednesday feminist Laci Green will be on my channel live. Everyone's made response videos to her, but no one has had a conversation with her. Be there! You Live 3729@ 2:30 PM Pacific Standard time youtube.com/BlaireWhitex outube com 00758 173 Comments 64 Shares Like Share Comment <p><a href="http://bullettime20.tumblr.com/post/158906449393/the-lost-alchemist-libertarirynn-are-yall" class="tumblr_blog">bullettime20</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/158905591739/the-lost-alchemist-libertarirynn-are-yall" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://the-lost-alchemist.tumblr.com/post/158905360116/are-yall-ready-to-witness-a-damn-murder" class="tumblr_blog">the-lost-alchemist</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/158903934169/are-yall-ready-to-witness-a-damn-murder" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Are ya’ll ready to witness a damn murder?</p></blockquote> <p>I am out of the loop can someone explain this to me?</p> </blockquote> <p>Blaire White: A transgender anti-SJW who makes videos on all kinds of hot button topics like being anti-feminism and rejecting the idea of there being more than two genders.</p><p>Laci Green: White feminism personified. Celebrated being a homewrecker. Praised the Baltimore riots. Had a meltdown on Twitter when Trump won. Basically your textbook bitter feminist with a YouTube channel. </p><p>Blaire can be a bit much and Laci is usually waaaaaaay too much and they’re basically as far opposite on the spectrum as you can get. Grab your popcorn and get comfortable. </p></blockquote> <p>Lacing Green said on Twitter that she actually likes Blaire.</p></blockquote> <p>I have to say I&rsquo;m pretty surprised she&rsquo;s arranging the discussion. From what I hear it was her idea.</p>

<p><a href="http://bullettime20.tumblr.com/post/158906449393/the-lost-alchemist-libertarirynn-are-yall" class="tumblr_blog">bullettime20<...

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<p><a href="https://the-lost-alchemist.tumblr.com/post/158905360116/are-yall-ready-to-witness-a-damn-murder" class="tumblr_blog">the-lost-alchemist</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/158903934169/are-yall-ready-to-witness-a-damn-murder" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Are ya’ll ready to witness a damn murder?</p></blockquote> <p>I am out of the loop can someone explain this to me?</p> </blockquote> <p>Blaire White: A transgender anti-SJW who makes videos on all kinds of hot button topics like being anti-feminism and rejecting the idea of there being more than two genders.</p><p>Laci Green: White feminism personified. Celebrated being a homewrecker. Praised the Baltimore riots. Had a meltdown on Twitter when Trump won. Basically your textbook bitter feminist with a YouTube channel. </p><p>Blaire can be a bit much and Laci is usually waaaaaaay too much and they’re basically as far opposite on the spectrum as you can get. Grab your popcorn and get comfortable. </p>: Blaire White 1 hr On Wednesday feminist Laci Green will be on my channel live. Everyone's made response videos to her, but no one has had a conversation with her. Be there! You Live 3729@ 2:30 PM Pacific Standard time youtube.com/BlaireWhitex outube com 00758 173 Comments 64 Shares Like Share Comment <p><a href="https://the-lost-alchemist.tumblr.com/post/158905360116/are-yall-ready-to-witness-a-damn-murder" class="tumblr_blog">the-lost-alchemist</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/158903934169/are-yall-ready-to-witness-a-damn-murder" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Are ya’ll ready to witness a damn murder?</p></blockquote> <p>I am out of the loop can someone explain this to me?</p> </blockquote> <p>Blaire White: A transgender anti-SJW who makes videos on all kinds of hot button topics like being anti-feminism and rejecting the idea of there being more than two genders.</p><p>Laci Green: White feminism personified. Celebrated being a homewrecker. Praised the Baltimore riots. Had a meltdown on Twitter when Trump won. Basically your textbook bitter feminist with a YouTube channel. </p><p>Blaire can be a bit much and Laci is usually waaaaaaay too much and they’re basically as far opposite on the spectrum as you can get. Grab your popcorn and get comfortable. </p>

<p><a href="https://the-lost-alchemist.tumblr.com/post/158905360116/are-yall-ready-to-witness-a-damn-murder" class="tumblr_blog">the-lost...

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