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Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces. via reddit.com toast-potent how are they even alive kickin-jeans eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs humandisastersquad WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace) reyroace oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em reyroace by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk gallusrostromegalus My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels, Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date. teratomarty What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths. the more you know
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Atlanta Hawks, Love, and Memes: Atlanta Hawks CEO Keeps His Promise to Pay For Wedding of Couple Who Met at First 'Swipe Right Night @balleralert NYCIS 10 Atlanta Hawks CEO Keeps His Promise to Pay For Wedding of Couple Who Met at First ‘Swipe Right Night’ - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In 2015, the AtlantaHawks hosted its first annual “Swipe Right Night” to encourage fans to use Tinder during the game. At the event, fans Avery Armstrong and Ben McCleskey had their first date, sparking an instant love connection. Three months later, the two returned to the Philips Arena for the playoffs. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ About nine months, after learning of the longevity of the couple’s relationship, the team’s CEO, SteveKoonin, offered to host and pay for their wedding if they decided to take it there. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “My treat,” Koonin said. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Now, two years after the first annual Tinder event that brought the couple together, the two have now turned into three, and they’re ready to tie the knot. Armstrong took to Twitter to remind the team about the promise Koonin made the year before, writing “Hey @ATLHawks remember when you said you’d pay for mine + @BMccleskeyNRP wedding? Well the 3 of us are ready-we hope the offer still stands.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Lucky for the happy couple, Koonin is a man of his word. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Avery and Ben: We are super excited for how your relationship has grown since you met at our first Swipe Right Night, and I will absolutely make good on my promise for the Hawks to host your wedding. We can’t wait to start making plans and meet your new little one.”

Atlanta Hawks CEO Keeps His Promise to Pay For Wedding of Couple Who Met at First ‘Swipe Right Night’ - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀...

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DeMarcus Cousins, God, and News: AFP news agency @AFP AFP . Follow Mexicans who served in US Army with the promise of becoming citizens but ended up being deported, protest on Memorial Day in Ciudad Juarez DE INFORMA EL C RI REZ BUNKER T/ 03 upporthouse.org Herika Martinez AFP DEPORTE VETER SUPPORT HOUS Herika Martinez AFP RETWEETS LIKES 8,1377,666 <p><a href="http://klubbhead.tumblr.com/post/161364634123/equestrianrepublican-alternative-munster" class="tumblr_blog">klubbhead</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://equestrianrepublican.tumblr.com/post/161361950026/alternative-munster-vaguelyconcernedtriangle" class="tumblr_blog">equestrianrepublican</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://alternative-munster.tumblr.com/post/161356812544/vaguelyconcernedtriangle-swagintherain-this" class="tumblr_blog">alternative-munster</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://vaguelyconcernedtriangle.tumblr.com/post/161323006098/swagintherain-this-is-low-and-unfair-god-bless" class="tumblr_blog">vaguelyconcernedtriangle</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://swagintherain.tumblr.com/post/161239885437/this-is-low-and-unfair-god-bless-these-veterans" class="tumblr_blog">swagintherain</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>This is low and unfair. God bless these Veterans.</p></blockquote> <p>This is a legitimate case of people who shouldn’t be deported</p> </blockquote> <p>Indeed.</p> </blockquote> <p>I always thought illegal immigrants could become citizens through service. This is bullshit.</p> </blockquote> <p>Wtf</p> </blockquote>
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