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Bluetooth, Bored, and Cars: . Verizon LTE 12:09 PM a houston.craigslist.org image 1 of 23 TEXAS BNL-2934 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla Let's talk about features Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the- road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Whit Bayou BWa catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car

catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car

Complex, Driving, and Guns: Authorities are working to identify a man seen on surveillance video attacking a disabled veteran with his car earlier this week in Gardena, allegedly because the veteran had asked him to pick up trash he threw in the street. Joshua Byrd, who served two tours in Iraq with the U.S. Army, said he was walking his service dog outside the business complex where he works on the 13000 block of Cimarron Avenue around 6:30 a.m. Monday when he noticed the driver discard garbage from his window. Byrd said he asked the motorist to pick it up but he didn't respond, so he picked it up and put it on the hood of the man's car. The driver lingered in the area, and a couple minutes later took the trash off his car and threw it back into the street. Then, he began cussing at Byrd and driving in circles in front of him, the veteran said. "He's getting out the car and he threw a couple bottles of pee at me," Byrd told KTLA. "So it was urine in a container and he was throwing it at me. Luckily none of it got on me." At that point, Byrd went to stand in the road in an attempt to get a picture of the man's car. That's when he was struck. "He just makes another U-turn and guns it straight toward me at about 35, 40 mph and hits me," Byrd said. Byrd suffered a fractured wrist, sprained ankle, whiplash, road rash and bruising, and had to get stitches on his face. His dog was not injured. The incident is being investigated as an assault with a deadly weapon, according to Gardena Police Lt. Steve Prendergast. Officials have not released a description of the suspect, but Byrd described him as a heavyset black man measuring around 5 feet 5 inches to 5 feet 8 inches tall. Anyone with information can contact the Gardena Police Department at 310-217-9600.

Authorities are working to identify a man seen on surveillance video attacking a disabled veteran with his car earlier this week in Gardena,...

Apple, Ass, and Bitch: Apple AirPods cost $159, but they can't pay taxes or decent wages to their Chinese factory workers! you SAID ON AN iPHONE.GOTCHA HEH *POST* CARS SHOULD HAVE SEAT BELTS! YET YOU BOUGHT ONE. HyPOCRITE MUCH? OWNED. WE SHOULD YET YOu SOCIETY . CURIOUS! I AM VERY IMPROVE SOCIETYPARTICIPATE IN SOMEWHAT. INTELLIGENT BORS celticpyro: thespectacularspider-girl: mattbors: edgeworth-for-the-truth: sindri42: captainkupo: mattbors: “Mr. Gotcha” on The Nib theres literally better alternatives to fucking buying an iphone dipshit your comic sucks dick There’s this weird disconnect in so many apple users where they hate Apple but they cannot conceive of anybody except Apple producing a viable smartphone or computer. You can get a machine that matches or exceeds every single aspect of any apple product for half the price, easily, but they need to get the one with an apple logo on it and then complain about apple. It’s like complaining that your car lacks a seatbelt when every other car on the road already has a seatbelt and you specifically paid extra to get your own seatbelt removed because you didn’t like the color. If you buy from Apple and complain about their business practices, you deserve to be made fun of and especially be called a boot licker. I am not sorry at all. You could have chosen from anyone else but you deliberately chose the most expensive and bullshit company to buy from, you pompous piece of human garbage. Stop virtue signally and maybe actually consider try helping those factory workers instead of enabling them. Shit head People really think this comic was some sort of pro-Apple comic and missed the point entirely. They’re real mad tho. And yet your stupid ass doesn’t get the underlying statements about Apple still apply to your smug comic. You don’t get to bitch about, say, capitalism when you engage in the excesses of capitalism.  To mix the two metaphors, if you bitch about capitalism from an iPhone, congrats, you just proved you’re a hypocrite because you COULD have bought a phone made with more ethical means or that didn’t have the associated brand on it, but you did.   Because you don’t really give a shit about making the changes yourself, you just want to virtue signal and have no actual principles. That’s why people bring up this kind of double-think, yet you felt the need to portray this valid criticism as a strawman so you can look intelligent. Seriously though! That’s why I hate this comic.The “cars should have seat belts” one is also dumb because guess what? The guy who conceptualized seat belts got them normalized in cars. The serf working under a feudalist system? Has absolutely no power to change it. In fact, they’re the one being exploited here, more comparable to the factory worker who built your iPhone than the upper-middle class person complaining about it. There’s a difference between recognizing a system is messed up while you have no control over the matter (as you’re the one personally being exploited), looking at a problem and deciding to change said problem, and doing absolutely nothing about the problem while participating in someone else being exploited when you can, in fact, choose not to be a partaker. No, not wanting to do something mildly inconvenient isn’t “the illusion of choice”. Fuck you and your shitty comic.

celticpyro: thespectacularspider-girl: mattbors: edgeworth-for-the-truth: sindri42: captainkupo: mattbors: “Mr. Gotcha” on The Nib the...