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Dr. Pepper is the shit.: Dr. Pepper is the shit.
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inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D : inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
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I hope the shit happening in America ends soon: I hope the shit happening in America ends soon
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Always scares the shit outta me: Always scares the shit outta me
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All the shit my son has put down the air conditioning vent in the last 6 years.: All the shit my son has put down the air conditioning vent in the last 6 years.
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I’d wear the shit outta this camping by Davis1891 MORE MEMES: I’d wear the shit outta this camping by Davis1891 MORE MEMES
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Always scares the shit outta me by sam11111111111111111 MORE MEMES: Always scares the shit outta me by sam11111111111111111 MORE MEMES
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Always scares the shit outta me: Always scares the shit outta me
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The shit Garfield eat…: The shit Garfield eat…
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Some of you guys scare the shit out of me: Some of you guys scare the shit out of me
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ask-the-sensual-primarch: chapter-master-darius: ask-the-sensual-primarch: internationalspacehobo: oopsl: Elixir that makes you punch through two layers of drywall Potion of Shit Your Bed A favorite among the Ultramarines, to be sure. “That looks like the shit the Dark Angels drink.” I’ve only known them to enjoy only the hottest of horse-raddish. 3/10 Not enough mayonnaise : ask-the-sensual-primarch: chapter-master-darius: ask-the-sensual-primarch: internationalspacehobo: oopsl: Elixir that makes you punch through two layers of drywall Potion of Shit Your Bed A favorite among the Ultramarines, to be sure. “That looks like the shit the Dark Angels drink.” I’ve only known them to enjoy only the hottest of horse-raddish. 3/10 Not enough mayonnaise
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pharmdup: enygma0710: lick-the-eyeball: absolutely riveting storyline here folks The one in the middle pulled an OG move and punked the shit out of the other two LOL The one on the right is my favorite because it looks like it’s never had a thought in its life : pharmdup: enygma0710: lick-the-eyeball: absolutely riveting storyline here folks The one in the middle pulled an OG move and punked the shit out of the other two LOL The one on the right is my favorite because it looks like it’s never had a thought in its life
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Tomato holding the shit together.: Tomato holding the shit together.
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laughoutloud-club: When the shit hits the fan: laughoutloud-club: When the shit hits the fan
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They be the shit: They be the shit
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In grade 3 I got nut kicked by a group of grade 5 kids. My grade 7 brother saw it happen and beat the shit out of them Iko Uwais style. Revenge is good.: In grade 3 I got nut kicked by a group of grade 5 kids. My grade 7 brother saw it happen and beat the shit out of them Iko Uwais style. Revenge is good.
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nargles-everywere: treefrogclub: libertybill: The cat screamed! Wiggle the shit outta here : nargles-everywere: treefrogclub: libertybill: The cat screamed! Wiggle the shit outta here
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cockyroaches: fuckrealityihaveablog: ultrafacts: Source: [x] Click HERE for more facts! Can you imagine some huge tattooed guy showing up at your job and you think he’s gonna beat the shit out of you but instead he tells all of your coworkers that your kid’s an asshole That would be even worse actually : cockyroaches: fuckrealityihaveablog: ultrafacts: Source: [x] Click HERE for more facts! Can you imagine some huge tattooed guy showing up at your job and you think he’s gonna beat the shit out of you but instead he tells all of your coworkers that your kid’s an asshole That would be even worse actually
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All the shit talking: All the shit talking
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All the shit talking by appreciatedeeznuts MORE MEMES: All the shit talking by appreciatedeeznuts MORE MEMES
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banbrotsu:inuyasha never got the shit talk gene.: banbrotsu:inuyasha never got the shit talk gene.
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🤷♂️: 8:47 Deissy Today Was your dad a boxer? Because damn, you're a knockout P Report He wasn't a boxer but he did beat the shit out of me. Delivered Your message GIF Yeah Неу Q W E Y U D F G H J Z X C V B N M return 123 space :) 🤷♂️
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WWJD? Probably my favorite bumper sticker I’ve seen. (Virginia, USA): JESUS WOULD SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF YOU WWJD? Probably my favorite bumper sticker I’ve seen. (Virginia, USA)
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WWJD? Probably my favorite bumper sticker I’ve seen. (Virginia, USA): JESUS WOULD SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF YOU WWJD? Probably my favorite bumper sticker I’ve seen. (Virginia, USA)
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eric-coldfire: broadwaytheanimatedseries: wessasaurus-rex: loosescrewslefty: powerpuff-save-the-day: Powerpuff Girls was actually a show about a group of small children crushing the patriarchy and no one will convince me otherwise Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise obviously wasn’t watching the same show. reasons why i love this show so much I love that the most tiny feminine delicate sweetheart of the three does the traditionaly masculine chores. Kinda makes me wanna see a teen Bubbles change a tire in a pretty dress and hair bow. Don’t forget the time they had a Misandrist Villain who used feminism as an excuse as to why the PPG should let her go free. Then when the girls themselves started being hateful to men, Ms. Bella had to correct the girls on what real feminism is. Then the PPG schooled the villain on Susan B Anthony and beat the shit out of her. Also don’t forget that while the above mentioned PPG episodes most likely got the show praise from the feminist crowds, the Femme Fatale episode got the show hate mail and death threats from the same crowd. Powerpuff Girls was some good shit. : He--he called me sweet cheeks GIRLS No! NARRATOR Not sweet cheeks! There are only 3 villains capable of such insensitive, derogatoryg and-insulting anquage eric-coldfire: broadwaytheanimatedseries: wessasaurus-rex: loosescrewslefty: powerpuff-save-the-day: Powerpuff Girls was actually a show about a group of small children crushing the patriarchy and no one will convince me otherwise Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise obviously wasn’t watching the same show. reasons why i love this show so much I love that the most tiny feminine delicate sweetheart of the three does the traditionaly masculine chores. Kinda makes me wanna see a teen Bubbles change a tire in a pretty dress and hair bow. Don’t forget the time they had a Misandrist Villain who used feminism as an excuse as to why the PPG should let her go free. Then when the girls themselves started being hateful to men, Ms. Bella had to correct the girls on what real feminism is. Then the PPG schooled the villain on Susan B Anthony and beat the shit out of her. Also don’t forget that while the above mentioned PPG episodes most likely got the show praise from the feminist crowds, the Femme Fatale episode got the show hate mail and death threats from the same crowd. Powerpuff Girls was some good shit.
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Yup: Jessie Sweet @MrCoolBeans23 truly only two types of men in the world 8:40 Messages +1 (253 Whats your go to meal from McDonalds 8:40 PM > 8:40 PM > S Lemme fuck the shit outta you Yup
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It do be like that: Facebook moms be like: GOT THE SHIT? DAS GOOD SHIT Minions memes made with mematic It do be like that
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Ride fast and eat ass: 1:29 ull LTE Tayah YOU MATCHED WITH TAYAH ON 12/29/19 I want to stick my tongue so far down your ass I can taste the shit you've been going through Today 1:23 PM Oh wow I think this is the most horrified I've ever been from a pickup line in my life I mean you didn't unmatch me yet..so I've at least caught your curiosity Sent Send Type a message GIF Ride fast and eat ass
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Kermit the legend by adigo6690 MORE MEMES: thats kermit today, after he realized no one nominated him for meme of the decade after all the memes he gave us and all the shit we made him do to make us laugh Kermit the legend by adigo6690 MORE MEMES
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Soulmates through thick and thin: I can't believe after all the shit they're back together Who? My ass cheeks Soulmates through thick and thin
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Guess I should’ve said it earlier: YOU MATCHED WITH SABRINA ON 12/1/19 l'd stick my tongue so far up your ass that l'd be able to taste the shit you've gone through for the last 3 months Today 9:58 PM Where was this offer last time we matched? Laying dormant. Now it's on the table Sent Guess I should’ve said it earlier
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aanzheni: sapper-in-the-wire: cats’ instinct to smack the shit out of anything and everything is honestly one of their best traits This video is so top notch, it has so many good things in it: the squinty eyes, the background music, the smack, the fall : aanzheni: sapper-in-the-wire: cats’ instinct to smack the shit out of anything and everything is honestly one of their best traits This video is so top notch, it has so many good things in it: the squinty eyes, the background music, the smack, the fall
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#YoungDolph had this to say about #JuiceWRLD following his passing... #RIP 🙏🙌💯 @YoungDolph @JuiceWorlddd https://t.co/4yNhUJiF2j: youngdolph @juicewrld999 dam lil cuzz O. i feel awkward as hell makin this post on social media. the world didn't know that u was my blood lil cuzin. Shit, i didnt even know it my own self until 2017 when your uncle told me at thanksgiving dinner. i didn't get a chance to fuk witchu how i had intentions to do and it's killin me. One day my grandma called me and said "Yea, u know u got a cuzin up here in Chicago that do music. That's my lil brother grandson". And now fast forward to THIS! I can't believe u gone that fast waaay too early. WHY GOD? 1 didn't even get a chance to put my lil cuzzo in da back of the RR and give him all the game i wanted to give him, didn't get a chance to pick him up in the Ferrari and kick shit wit him how I wanted to, didnt get a chance to drop the top on my Bentley and pull up on my grandma wit Juice in the car wit me, didn't get a chance to po' up in da lambo witchu like i wanted to, didn't even get a chance to smoke a blunt witchu and talk about our family history like i wanted to about doin any music together because we blood and music is my last concern. i was on the plane comin back home from Germany when i got this bad news and it FUKD ME UP! watch over your moms and the rest of the family and tell God to make sure he save me a spot please. Matter fact, now that u wit God he can tell u all about my life, ask him about all the shit that i did to get to where l'm at. 40% of the things i did i am not proud of but it was all a sacrifice to get ahead. Everybody dat got anything negative to say about any drug that u did FUK EM! I watched my whole family do drugs when I was growing up, and I'm not embracing using drugs AT ALL but take it how u wanna . I haven't been drinkin lean lately but l'm definitely about to po' up a pint and smoke a qp for u Juice, DA YOUNGEST BIGGEST LEGEND OF ALL TİME! 999 #LengendaryJuice Honestly i didnt care #YoungDolph had this to say about #JuiceWRLD following his passing... #RIP 🙏🙌💯 @YoungDolph @JuiceWorlddd https://t.co/4yNhUJiF2j
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Friend of mine did this.: Today 8:20 PM GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE! I've created a device that formulates the perfect tinder pick-up line! O-observe... "Yo baby are you a Stephen King novel, cause you thick as hell and scare the shit out of me!" Oh my, I think its broken Friend of mine did this.
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leftski-art: Thalia is the healer in the party and Grim is the idiot who keeps getting hurt, so they’re pretty close. And after all the shit they’ve had to deal with, they deserve something softThalia is @saltyoldgrandpa‘s~: leftski-art: Thalia is the healer in the party and Grim is the idiot who keeps getting hurt, so they’re pretty close. And after all the shit they’ve had to deal with, they deserve something softThalia is @saltyoldgrandpa‘s~
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These trays were the shit!: I'm this old T-108 @_Bashh Damn y'all going deep into the vault for this one These trays were the shit!
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またはredditをスクロールする: the shit staring at your asshole while you play on your phone and don't flush for over an hour またはredditをスクロールする
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Christmas as an adult sucks: CHAOSLIFE BY A &K WHAT I WANTED FOR THE HOLIDAYS AS A KID NO! OH MY TEN GOSH, I WANT A PUPPY! PUPPIES! AND ROCKET SKATES! A WHOLE BUCKET OF FUDGE STROBE LIGHTS IN MY ROOM! WAIT THAVE MORE! WHAT I WANT FOR THE SHIT I DON'T HOLIDAYS AS AN ADULT KNOW... WHISKEY? SOME BILLS PAID, I GUESS A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP. SOCKS ARE ALRIGHT CHAOSLIFE FINDGHAOS.COM Christmas as an adult sucks
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Defend in public, roast in private. Just like family.: AT&T LTE 12:41 AM Tweet SCAM GODDESS @DivaLaci When black people see a "black movie" and it's bad, we tell NO ONE. Then, when we're all alone, just us blacks, with the windows shut and curtains drawn...we roast the shit out of it. We're not allowed to fail 11:39 PM 11/29/19 Twitter for iPhone 1 Retweet55 Likes Tweet your reply Defend in public, roast in private. Just like family.
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blacktwittercomedy: Best Of Black Twitter: BIG MIRMIR @PsssssstDaMiraa Dave Chappelle said the shit I've been thinking all along: why the FUCK are they having active shooter drills in schools for the students... teaching the shooter (the student) where tf they gonna be hiding at!! 02:35 27/08/2019 Twitter for iPhone 616 Retweets 1,328 Likes blacktwittercomedy: Best Of Black Twitter
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awesomacious: Not a meme. I know. Just a line to my inbox should it be needed.: Man, I would 100% rather sit with for as long as it takes you and listen to the shit your going through than sit there for 15 minutes listening to your eulogy. Remember that. awesomacious: Not a meme. I know. Just a line to my inbox should it be needed.
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chicago-benzedrine: thegreenpea: Motherfucker do I feel called out Goddamit op : f thot fitzgerald @dracomallfoys level 1: venting by crying level 10: venting by faking a conversation in your head with someone level 113: venting by creating an intricate alternate universe scenario in ur head where ur a celebrity on a talk show dramatically explaining the shit u've been going thru chicago-benzedrine: thegreenpea: Motherfucker do I feel called out Goddamit op
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The Shit: I KNOW HAVE FRIENDS BUT FEEL LIKE HAVE No ONE TO TALK TO ABbUT THE SHIT THAT GDES ON IN MY HEAD
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Sorry little one: When you find a perfect solution on Stackoverflow and have to replace the shit code wrote you I'm sorry, little one. Sorry little one
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That’s bullshit, but I believe it.: allfrogsarefriends broke: supernatural creatures comparing humans to worms, ants or any other insect creatures in a hateful tone woke: supernatural creatures in awe of the shit humans do/put up with given their limited abilities allfrogsarefriends "wh. what do you mean your limbs dont regenerate. so if you lose one, you just gotta...deal with it?" "yeah? allfrogsarefriends bespoke: humans making up stupid limitations just to fuck with the supernatural beings alfrogsarefriends Steve, an absolute trashbag who loves to fuck with ppl in general: "Yeah so we as humans aren't able to injest water during a full moon because of how potent the lunar pull on it is." Yveseriel, a Seraphim with 12 eyes and 7 pairs of wings: BEER NESEOMOIV That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about to dispute it. humans SY That’s bullshit, but I believe it.
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Not a meme. I know. Just a line to my inbox should it be needed.: Man, I would 100% rather sit with for as long as it takes you and listen to the shit your going through than sit there for 15 minutes listening to your eulogy. Remember that. Not a meme. I know. Just a line to my inbox should it be needed.
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laughoutloud-club: Oh, sh*t! well, shit: The Seven Shittiest Sins Greed: I want shit Envy: I want your shit Wrath: I'm going to wreck your shit Lust: I'm into some freaky shit Gluttony: This is some tasty shit Sloth: I don't feel like doing shit Pride: I am the shit laughoutloud-club: Oh, sh*t! well, shit
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GTA was the shit via /r/memes https://ift.tt/375kiQw: gta pedestrians seeing me driving towards them at 140 mph P MORNING MERICA OD GTA was the shit via /r/memes https://ift.tt/375kiQw
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GTA was the shit by can_i_get_likes MORE MEMES: GTA was the shit by can_i_get_likes MORE MEMES
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GTA was the shit: gta pedestrians seeing me driving towards them at 140 mph P MORNING MERICA OD GTA was the shit
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