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Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story. xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy xxx: You're gonna love this ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time" xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those I found this on an old Git account
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Crying, Dad, and Friends: THIS BOY CAME CRYING TO HIM BECAUSE HE WAS LOST, BUT HE WAS SHOCKED WITH HIS PARENTS RESPONSE While I was in uniform waiting for my flight home from training across the country, a little boy, maybe about three or four, walked up to me crying and asked if I was Gl Joe and if could help him find his parents. Of course l agreed, hoisted him up onto my shoulders so he might be able to spot them, and walked around the terminal towards the help desk asking him what color shirts his parents were wearing, if he knew where they all were travelling to, etc. just to hopefully identify and find them faster. I took the velcro US ARMY tab off my uniform and gave it to him to keep (kids love those things for some reason) and show off to his friends when he got home. He eventually stopped crying because he knew he was going to find his parents with Gl Joe on his side.) When we did find them (at the help desk, nonetheless), his mom roughly snatched him from my shoulders and the father loudly accused me of trying to kidnap and molest his son. They were making a general scene, causing people to stop and look at a pair of parents accusing me of essentially being a monster. Basically I was being belittled and made to feel like nothing and the biggest scumbag ever. But, as the parents were storming off with the boy, he turned around, smiled, said "Thanks for helping me find my Mom and Dad!" and waved the velcro tab in his hand, so I felt a little better and people who witnessed what had just happened understood I was just trying to help the kid Share this if you think this man did the right thing and every man shouldn't be viewed as a child molester. <p>Kid Comes Crying To Him Because He Was Lost. But Is Shocked With The Boy’s Parent’s Response.</p>

Kid Comes Crying To Him Because He Was Lost. But Is Shocked With The Boy’s Parent’s Response.

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