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Dad, Hungry, and Scholar: dragonpuppies Elizabethan Peasant 1: Look yonder! Someone has writ upon that ceiling that thou art most easily gulled! Elizabethan Peasant 2: More fool they, for I cannot read Elizabethan Peasant 1: sighing, lowers his visage unto his palm* amityravenclawelf Elizabethan Peasant 1: Lo, hast thou learned to read? Elizabethan Peasant 2: Verily, and to compose as well Elizabethan Peasant 1: With haste, then, how is the word "i cup" composed? hi-def-doritos Elizabethan Peasant 1: what ho, I know a sporting jest! What art thou when thou art a peasant and art occupied in a privy? Elizabethan Peasant 2: I wist not, but certain am I that thou shalt tell me speedily. Elizabethan Peasant 1: Most verily, thou art a peon. little-niggah-sugar Elizabethan Child: Father, I have not yet broken fast and am filled with pangs of hunger Elizabethan Father: Hail, Filled With Pangs Of Hunger! Mine own name is Wybert marzipanandminutiae Elizabethan Scholar 1: Alack, I have in my purse but sixty-nine pence Elizabethan Scholar 2: Lusty fellow, knowst thou well what such a sum portends! Elizabethan Scholar 1 .I have not sufficient to sup on fowl ur-friendly-local-memer Elizabethan Scholar 1: Mine name is verily Micheal with a 'b', and I hast been afraid of insects mine entire Elizabethan Scholar 2: Cease cease cease. Wither is the bee? Elizabethan Scholar 1: Thither is a bee? vampyrewhore Mine outspoke companion: how many Appels art havested from a tree? Me: I know not, may it be twice a score? My companion: Nay fool, every Appel grows upona harvest sprig! Me: Frederich, upon the heavens I will strike thee down, for thy scalding wit is naught to my mighty brawn Source: dragonpuppies 86,585 notes Hi hungry, Im Dad
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Ass, Bitch, and Chill: probablyvampirerpgideas Make a Vampire character who's lived through several waves of the common language's development and can't let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess anachronistic-cat .. can i use that phrase irl? probablyvampirerpgideas Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age nternet lingo like all the time the-argumentative-viper Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you're toss'd with. Chill already, you're not valid nuttersincorporated You are an unrighteous, basardly gullion. Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan I love the idea of a vampire who's language travels back in time as they get pissed take-a-dip-in-the-deadpool grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito sleepyamericanteen Reading these is like literary whiplash kyraneko Thou'rt a base and unhappy drama-fucker and I would yeet you out the nearest window for a donut. rickktish Bestill thy mongrel tongue and shut your face ere I unhappy thot do yeet thee hence!! I'll not hesitate, bitch, to do thee in whomst ruinest mine pizza with thine vape Source: probablyvampirerpgideas Hmm, thy bosoms heart beats no more. YEET!
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Dumb, Earned It, and Jurassic Park: RI 4aal 79%. 12:38 AM Amber Sat, Apr 14, 1:22 PM AMBER ALERT South FL 10/10 Red Hair Bk Converse, 2016 W "Good Things T-shirt. If sighted, text Mon, Apr 16, 12:44 PM It's been three days and still no reported sightings.... I'm sorry.... we've gotta call off the search at this point. Our department just doesn't have the funding to keep chasing cold trails. We've failed you, and you can never know how much we wish could change that Tue, May 1, 12:15 AM Call me "the mosquito from Jurassic Park" because l'd like to lock some genetic information into Amber Saturday 3:21 PM Wow you were dedicated here 3 attempts and nothing You're an ambitious at least Monday 12:01 AM I spent more time than I'll admit looking for a pun involving Amberger But I mean my usual Tinder MO is writing lengthy poems or sonnets to custom orders so you haven't yet seen my true power Monday 1:20 AM Write me a sonnet About whales Monday 2:19 AM Shall I compare thee to a tidal wave? Thou art more massive and more full of For seaweed whips in mottled, tangled grave and summer's tides do draw at times of strife When near the beach a perfect form reclines sometime too quick the ocean makes retreat. And there in air exposed the blubber shines mine eyes own love could turn the saltfoam sweet For thy eternal summer shall not fade and love shall be doled out in metric ton. Let forth your grace eject from blowhole sprayed my schoolbus-sized blue humpedback true loved one Forevermore my breath is captured still, my bosom full of love as yours with krill. Today 12:20 AM Ok what I actually really liked that Like a stupid amount Honestly tinder is dumb and I only have t have it to make fun of people in my groupchats but I'm not gonna make fun of you You earned it It's been all of 3 minutes and I'm still perplexed Are you an English major? What's your story, Drew? Who the hell are you? manell are you? Sometimes it takes three attempts to break through

Sometimes it takes three attempts to break through

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Dumb, Earned It, and Jurassic Park: RI 4a.d 79%. 12:38 AM Amber Sat, Apr 14, 122 PM AMBER ALERT South FL 10/10 Red Hair Bk Converse, "2016 W "Good Things" T-shirt. If sighted, text Mon, Apr 16, 12:44 PM It's been three days and still no reported sightings.... I'm sorry.... we've gotta call off the search at this point. Our department just doesn't have the funding to keep chasing cold trails We've failed you, and you can never know how much we wish could change that Tue, May 1, 12.15 AM Call me "the mosquito from Jurassic Park" because I'd like to lock some genetic information into Amber Saturday 3:21 PM you were dedicated here 3 attempts and nothing You're an ambitious at least Monday 12:01 AM I spent more time than I'll admit looking for a pun involving Amberger But I mean my usual Tinder MO is writing lengthy poems or sonnets to custom orders so you haven't yet seen my true power Monday 1:20 AM Write me a sonnet About whales Monday 2:19 AM Shall I compare thee to a tidal wave? Thou art more massive and more full of For seaweed whips in mottled, tangled grave and summer's tides do draw at times of strife When near the beach a perfect form reclines sometime too quick the ocean makes retreat And there in air exposed the blubber shines mine eyes' own love could turn the saltfoam sweet For thy eternal summer shall not fade and love shall be doled out in metric ton Let forth your grace eject from blowhole sprayed my schoolbus-sized blue humpedback true loved one Forevermore my breath is captured still, my bosom full of love as yours with krill. Today 12:20 AM Ok what l actually really liked that Like a stupid amount Honestly tinder is dumb and I only have it to make fun of people in my groupchats but I'm not gonna make fun of you You earned it It's been all of 3 minutes and I'm still perplexed Are you an English major? What's your story, Drew? Who the hell are you? Sent Sometimes it takes three attempts to break through

Sometimes it takes three attempts to break through

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Fuck You, Heaven, and Life: Anonymous Dare: text the 13th person in your contacts saying "I've always loved you" Then post the results. After that u can tell them it was a dare, but only if they reply Answer oo AT&T 8:26 PM О 42%! Messages Ashleigh Contact Message Today 8:23 PM I've always loved you. omg really???? me too... wow I never thought this day would come.... I'm so happy to be with you... l feel like this is really the beginning of something great Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a date. Sometime too hot the eye Message Send *o«0o AT&T 8:26 PM O 42 % 0, Contact Messages Ashleigh ail too short a date Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimmed And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed; But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade, When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st. So lona as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee Message Send AT&T ? 8:26 PM O 42 % 0, Messages Ashleigh Contact sometime declines, By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed; But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade, When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st. So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee Imao sike Delivered fuck you you're a fuckin turtle dick don't talk to me Message Send
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