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Af, Bad, and Dude: 10 Reasons Why Your D*ck ls Trash @balleralert Read more: www.balleralert.com 10 Reasons Why Your D*ck Is Trash - blogged by @niksofly ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you let men tell it, all of them have magical golden penises that give out orgasms like free lunch. Every dude is well endowed and knows what they're doing, and if they're allowed to gas you, they all will tell you how nasty they are and how their skully (oral sex ) game is beasty. Somehow, women buy that wolf and soon realize the d*ck is wack AF. By that time, it's too late and an L has been bestowed upon her. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Word to the wise: dudes with a village of kids usually have good d*ck. Not to mention, if he doesn't say anything about his performance outside of "I know me and I'm good at what I do,” you about to get the most phenomenal d*ck of your life. Don't question me. Just accept the facts, lol. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Anyhoo, here are the top reasons the d*ck is wack AF. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 1. She is allergic to shellfish. That little shrimp is only tickling her labia. If she doesn't gasp when you put it in-It's wack. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 2. And if you have length, you're missing girth. Women don’t want to bust a vein trying to grip your pencil d*ck. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 3. You make too much noise. Yeah, she knows you are swimming in ecstasy, but right now she's drowning in your theatrics. It's bad enough your d*ck is small, but the noise is stopping her from concentrating on gripping your vienna and climaxing. The sh*t is hard work. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 4. Eating is not literal. Your pregame is horrid. You’re either eating vagina like a cat licking milk or you about to give her a total hysterectomy. There are nerves down there sir. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 5. Mentioning nerves. Stop trying to beat her walls down or rupture her cervix. She needs all components. That hurts like hell. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 6. And if you're a decent size, you are Thumper the Quick Pumper. She just slid on your manhood and it's over already. I'm pretty sure paint drying would be more gratifying. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 7. And let's not get into how boring you are in bed. It's the same two ......to read the rest log on to BallerAlert.com (clickable link on profile)
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Ass, Barber, and Best Buy: .il Verizon 10:22 AM Text Message Today 9:30 AM Hey. What's. Up. Bro This. KeV in. KeV in who Be. At. Shop Lil. G. Barber. Shojp What. Time. You. Tryina. Meet. Up. Ima. Bring. The. Cocaine. And. 3 Poodles Did. You. Talk to. Any. One. At. Shop Just. Dwayne. But. You. Know. He. On. That. Gay. Shit. Always. Tryina. Put. It. In. Me. What ext Message StubHub Verizon 10:22 AM Did. You. Talk. To. Him. Bout. Mack. Pc Yea. But. Last. Time. I. Bought. A. Pc From. Him. It. Was. Filled. With. Animal. Pornography. And. I. Had. To. Return. It I. Brought. It. To. Best. Buy. To. See How. To. Get. It. Off. But. I. Had. To. Run Out. Cuz. They. Were. Looking. At. Me Weird. And. Talked. About. Calling. The Police. On. Me No. Call. Lil. Gee. He. Will. Explain You. Can't. Explain. Animal. Porn. Man Do. You.Know. How. Blown. I. Was When. I. Saw. This. Man. Giving. An Elephant. Head? And. I. Don't. Mean. Sucking. His. Trunk Know. Man. Not. Computer I. Mean. Literally. Putting. His. Head. In His. Ass. Man. You. Wild ext Message StubHub Verizon 10:22 AM Call. Gee Aight. Ima. Call. Him. Now I. Left. lt. At. Shop Yo. Whv. Gee. Said. He. Gonna. Lick My. Bootyhole. When. I. Get. There What. Kinda. Shit. You. Leave lts. Like. Shit. You. Can. Hook. Up. For. Music. An. Some other. Shit. Oh. That's. Why. Gee. Talking. About. Playing. My. Flute. And. Tickling. My Ivories I. Thought. He. Was. Trying. To. Toss. My. Salad. Again What's. Up. Man He. Got. It. At. Shop Okay. Ima. Come. Get. It. But. Call. And Tell. Gee. To. Stop. Talking. All. This Gav. Shit ext Message StubHub Verizon 10:22 AM Ivories . Thought. He. Was. Trying. To. Toss. My. Salad. Again What's. Up. Man He. Got. It. At. Shop Okay. Ima. Come. Get. It. But. Call. And Tell. Gee. To. Stop. Talking. All. This. Gay. Shit Tell. Him. My. Asshole. Is. Exit. Only Maybe. A. Tongue. Here. And. There But. That's. On. Special.Occasions. Only Yeah. Will. Do Will, Tell. Him Stop Thank. You. He. Needs. To. At. Least. Bring. Me. Flowers. Before. He. Tries To. Get. Me. To. Spread. Eagle. For. Him ext Message StubHub Wrong. Text. Troll.
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