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Bad, Creepy, and Cute: i want! to sit! in a lap! and i want! to do they have to be attached I love your need to make everything cute sounds creepy I love that Well I's funny how you can make everything sound creepy/wrong but the things that you like Make this creepy: Skittles are very good it depends where you put them you challenged a god Make this creepy: An instrumental cover of a well-known song plays from another room. It starts slow rhythm inconsistent, like a child struggling with a hand-played music box. It is the unmistakable tune of Despacito, played on an old circus organ. You open your eyes slowly and squint up at a single, flickering bulb. Your head aches. How did you get here? The music throbs against the bathroom's crumbling tile walls. You are standing in front of a ceramic sink, the bowl chipped and yellowed with age. You have no memory of this place. The music speeds up. Your hands are stained with something dark and rotting. A strange taste lingers in your mouth. How did you get here? You lean towards the mirror. Your face is haggard, your eyes bloodshot. Your reflection leans forward and whispers, "Despacito can you do llike wearing glasses Most people have never seen me without my glasses. I wear them all the time. All day, at home, in bed, even in the bath sometimes. I pretty much only take them off to shower or sleep. And even then I keep them within arm's reach. Igot my first pair in middle school, and it changed my life. I've switched styles plenty of times over the years, Right now I own three pairs, not including my backups and prescription sunglasses. I'm always paranoid about losing or breaking the ones I'm wearing. Most people would be surprised to find out my eyesight isn't even that bad. ReallyI only need corrective lenses for distance. I could manage most things without them. But I like wearing glasses Not that it can't be frustrating at times Eyeglasses are always getting smudged or dirty. I have to clean mine constantly. They're fragile, and can be scratched or bent. They fall off, go askew, steam up, and collect water drops when it rains. You have to keep a protective case on hand, and a soft cloth, and glass cleaner. They can be a lot of trouble. Honestly, contact lenses would be so much more convenient I did try to switch, once. I bought a box of those new disposable contacts. And it was great at first-just put them on and go. It was freeing. My eyes adjusted quickly-no itching or redness. It didn't even feel that strange not having something on my face for the first time in years. I really thought they were going to work. They didn't, in the end. Maybe it's something about the material, the difference between actual glass versus whatever polymer the contacts were made from. Maybe it has to do with lens shape, or distance. Maybe it's even just psychological-something to do with the fact that glasses just feel more protective. I had hoped now that I was older, perhaps I wouldn't need protection. Perhaps they wouldn't come after me the way they did when I was a child. I was wrong. Glasses stop the dark things from moving you see. If I don't wear them, I start seeing the things again. Out of the corners of my eyes. In the shadows of the room. Glasses are the only thing I've found that keeps them still. And that's important. Because you see, the things aren't just moving-theyre moving closer Gaud it's past 1 am please Sometimes I just think Gaud is moved by the full and pure force of f people's minds ucking up other why the flip do u think i spend so much time on this hellsite 57,107 notes They challenged a god. They will pay for their hubris

They challenged a god. They will pay for their hubris

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Water, Shape, and This: This spilled water conforming to the shape of the tile underneath

This spilled water conforming to the shape of the tile underneath

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Andrew Bogut, Dinosaur, and Head: 110 Million-Year-old Dinosaur Fossil Discovery. Head and Tile like Scales Preserved in Amazing Detail.

110 Million-Year-old Dinosaur Fossil Discovery. Head and Tile like Scales Preserved in Amazing Detail.

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Doctor, Food, and Memes: I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the crap. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table ...everywhere! Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food. After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ..... quiet, serene.... and no one demanding their rights to a free meal. Now let's see......Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care and free education, and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; Your child's second grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English. Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one ' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than ”ours” are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties. Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder. If you agree, pass it on; if not, just continue cleaning up the crap!! @unclesamsmisguidedchildren

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly w...

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Candy, Clothes, and Cute: ISCHACROS mischacrossing: This is probably my most requested guide/ tutorial, and there is no one right way to explain it. Everyone’s town is different, along with everyone’s tastes and preferences. Feel free to follow this to a T, do only a few steps, or ignore it altogether. This is just what I’ve gathered from my own experiences and watching other people plan/ build their towns. I won’t mind if you add a “Read More” when you reblog it. I know it’s a ridiculously long post. :x Pre-Landscaping Prep: Dreamies: Try to get most—if not all—of your dream villagers first. Knowing where their houses are will make landscaping much smoother since you won’t be worrying about someone moving into the middle of your orchard. Using a little (or a lot of) plot resetting will help their houses get in not-so-shitty spots. Side Characters: If you’re going to have characters other than your mayor, go ahead and make their houses (or at least plan where they will be). This is for the same reason as getting your dreamies early on. Hybrid Garden: Move your flowers to your beach and set up a hybrid garden, and plant any flowers you buy there. The beach is the best spot, because villagers can’t move there, obviously. This hybrid guide will be super helpful! Stock Up: Start hoarding everything. Bells, axes, flowers, tree saplings, bush starts, furniture, etc. You can store them in your house, locker, museum, and/or beach to keep them off the town’s ground and away from dangerous house plots. Check out my Bell-Making Guide for money-making tips. Town Theme: Most people have a general idea early on, but I felt like I should touch on it. Think of what kind of theme/ feel you want your town to have—i.e. modern, regal, zen, fairy tale, forest, etc. Knowing this will help you decide on wide or skinny paths, number of trees, color of flowers, and so on. Don’t feel pressured to have a theme, though. You can make a town without thinking, “This all has to look super modern!” Just design what you like! Deforestation: Before you start laying down paths or PWP’s, you need to cut down every damn tree in your town. You can use all those axes you’ve been hoarding or a golden axe if you’ve gotten there. This will give you a blank slate to work with so seeing where paths and PWP’s can go will be 100x easier. Putting Down Paths: Wide and/or Skinny: There are two basic types of paths—wide and skinny. Wide paths take up two to three tiles, while skinny paths take up only one. Wider paths tend to give a more modern/ regal feel, and skinny paths tend to give a more natural/ forest feel to a town. Skinny paths are also useful in tight areas that you need to go through. You can use only one or a mix of both, but having an idea of which you’ll use will help with planning. Find a Path: This is obviously a huge step. I have a fairly thorough mix of paths posted to my blog, but other blogs for finding paths include bidoofcrossing, merongcrossing, and acnlpaths. This would be the time to find waterway and grass designs if you’re planning on having those. Planning: This is definitely optional, but it definitely helps. Take a screenshot of your town map and open it in Paint, or a similar program. Draw lines on your map to indicate where paths will go. You can use a red line to represent wide paths, a green line to represent skinny paths, a blue line to represent waterways, etc. Actual Pathing: Now you can actually put down a path in your town! For the first go-around, it’s simpler to use one single-tile design so you can just put it down where you think you want your path. This way, you can tweak it without having to change three other designs along with it. Having a path with no dead ends that also connects the major parts of town is best. You can use skinny paths/ stepping stones to connect the wide path to smaller areas—like villagers’ houses in tight spaces, the campsite, PWP areas, etc. After all that, you can go in and lay down the pretty path you picked out earlier! Too Many Designs: I get a lot of questions about this, so I figured I’d talk about it. You can only store 10 designs in your design slots, but some paths will take up all or more of those. If you want more than 10 designs, you’ll have to create another character to live in your town. You can have up to 4 characters, so you can have up to 40 designs—including paths, clothes, wallpapers, etc. Public Works Projects: Picking PWP’s: Obviously your thoughts on what PWP’s you want will change over time, but try to get a basic idea of the ones you like. There is a list here that tells you all the PWP’s, how much space they take up, and what villager personality will suggest them to you. Some might go along with the theme of your town more, so you can pinpoint those early on. Planning: Once you’re done picking out your favorite PWP’s, you can start figuring out where they’ll go. Walk along your path/ look at your map and find spacious areas. Especially large spaces can be filled with parks (jungle gym, tire toy, water fountain, picnic blanket), gardens (statue fountain, topiaries), zen gardens (zen garden, zen bell, zen bench, zen streetlight), campground (campsite, fire pit, camping cot, log bench), etc. Smaller areas can have single PWP’s. Most can look fine on their own, and you can fill more space with trees, flowers, bushes, etc. a little later. Use a simple design to indicate where various PWP’s will go so you don’t forget and accidentally move a villager in on top of it. Getting Suggestions: Villagers can be super annoying with not suggesting new PWP’s. To help the process along, use the diving trick. It might take a couple tries, but I promise you’ll get more suggestions this way. Do the Damn Thing: Build the PWP’s!!! Obviously you can be building some while planning for others, so don’t get so caught up in planning and the diving trick that you forget to actually build those PWP’s. Landscaping: Planning: Now that you have most of your villagers moved in and PWP’s at least planned out, you can start putting in pretty nature! You should have been hoarding trees and bushes while expanding your hybrid garden, so you should have plenty to work with. You still might need more though. In this case, use a simple design to indicate where trees or bushes will go eventually. Lining Paths: The first step to giving your town “depth” is lining your paths with something—literally anything. If your town is more natural, use more trees. If your town is more modern, use more bushes and flowers. Just mix and match different things with different areas of path. Try not to mix too many different types of bushes in one area. If you do mix them, do it in a pattern of some kind. Filling Around PWP’s: Now you can build on those areas with PWP’s. Larger spaces that you filled with a park or garden can be outlined just like you lined your paths. Inside the areas, you can fill it with flowers, a path/grass design, or just leave the natural grass! Around more secluded PWP’s, you can do the same thing on a smaller scale. For example, around a fountain put a mix of flowers on the first outline or two. Then do an outline of bushes around those flowers with a couple open spaces for entryways. You just took up so much space with just one PWP! So experiment with different areas and see what looks good. You can always rearrange everything later. Flower Combinations: There are going to be several areas you’ll want to fill with flowers, and deciding what kind can be daunting. Like a lot of other things, experimentation is going to be a large part of this. As far as mixing breeds goes, combos that look nice together are cosmos and tulips, cosmos and violets, roses and tulips, and roses and lilies. As far as mixing colors go, combos that look nice together are anything and white, pink and yellow, pink and blue, purple and blue, yellow and orange, black and orange, and red and pink. Everyone’s taste is different, but these are combos I’ve seen that many people have liked. Extra Space: You shouldn’t have much space left, but you can add some trees and flowers into weird areas right behind bigger buildings and whatnot. Putting out clothes and gifts for visitors to your dream town is really nice. Other things can fill up space are fruit baskets, tree stumps, mushrooms, songs, and candy. Finishing Touches: Houses: Houses aren’t exactly “touches,” but you’ll be working on them all throughout your town building. Basically, just get an idea of what “theme” you want your houses/ rooms to have. Cute ideas I’ve seen are bedrooms, living rooms, kitchens, spas, offices, libraries, cafes, classrooms, convenience stores, flower shops, restaurants, and hotels. Gifts: Putting out clothes and wrapped gifts for dream visitors is really nice. Good gifts include throwing beans, toy hammers, balloons, bubble wands, ice creams, and so on. Carry On: Building your town will take months, and you’ll probably change your mind 293208 times on where you want this PWP or what kind of flowers you want in that area. You’ll probably be doing a mix of a few different steps at once, which is completely fine. Just don’t lose focus on enjoying the game! Build your encyclopedia, work towards your badges, interact with villagers, visit dream towns, etc. Have fun, and good luck!!!
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Ass, Baby Got Back, and Beer: My friends and I like to play drinking games, and last night we made our own Drunk Jenga. We had ton of fun, so I thought I'd share: Here's what we wrote on the tiles -2 Truths and a Lie-Tell two truths and one lie, everyone mu ess which was the lie. You drink for every person correc -Accent- You must speak in an accent for the rest of the game -Arm Wrestle Arm wrestle the person to your left. Loser -Aunt Bertha Everyone gets to pinch your cheeks -Baby Got Back- Give a drink to the person with the best ass -Bar Wench-You have to fetch everyone's drinks -Blind Man Take a block with your eyes closecd -Bob Dole You can only refer to yourself in the third person for the rest of the game -Castaway-You can only talk to inanimate objects for the rest of the game -Compliments-Give a compliment to everyone in the room -Crazy Cat Lady Drink for every cat you have every owned -Crypt Keeper-Oldest person drinks -Embryo-Youngest person drinks -Dance-You have to dance for at least a minute -Date Pick someone to 'date'for the rest of the game, when you drink, they drink, and vice versa -Dick Pic- A dick is drawn on the block, you have to take a photo with it and post it on social media (or text it to your Mom/Dad) Down the Hatch Finish your drink -Edward Scissorhand-You must hold two butterknives for the rest of the game and do everything with them -Find a Hat Find a hat (or something that can be a hat) and wear it for the rest of the game -Flashback-Go to the Facebook or Instagram of someone not in the room, and 'like' one of their photos that is at least a year old -Fresh Meat - Person who most recently had sex drinks -Gary Coleman Shortest person drinks Lurch-Tallest person drinks -Gays- Gay people drink Straights -Straight people drink drink Give 3 Make someone drink 3 times -Hand Switch You can only use your non-dominant hand for the -Kitten Mittens -You must play the rest of the game wearing gloves -Make a rule You make a rule that holds for the rest of the game -Make a Speech -Make a speech for 60 seconds -Mustache (draw a mustache on the tile) -you have to hold the mustache up to your mouth for the rest of the game, including when drinking -Moving Violation Drink if you've had sex in a car, drink 2x if the car was moving -Never Have l Ever-play a 3 finger game of never have I ever -Nicknames You assign nicknames to everyone (including yourself) and people can only use those names for the rest of the game -No Guts, No Glory - You can't take any center pieces -Phone Call- Call someone, if they don't pick up, leave a message -Question Master-You are the question master for the rest of the game, if anyone answers a question you ask them, they drink -Rewind- Take a block from the top and put it back in the tower (can't be on the very bottom row) Send a sexy selfie -send a sexy selfie to anyone not in the room. No significant others, no snapchats Sharing is Caring- Everyone pours a little bit of their drink into a cup, you have to shoot the concoction Sibling Rivalry-Drink for every sibling you have Sobriety Test Remove another block while drinking Strip - Remove a piece of clothing (Jewelry, hats, shoes, etc me cou The Real Slim Shady -You have to stand for the rest of the game -Time Out Stand with your face in the corner of the room until your next turn. No talking or drinking Top Swap- Change shirts with someone T-Rex Arms-You must do everything with T-Rex arms for the rest of the game (elbows touching your sides) -Tribal Council - Everyone votes, person with the most votes finishes their drink. (Alternative: person with the most votes stops playing) -Trivia Everyone else comes up with one trivia question to ask you, if you lose you drink (if you win, the person who asked you/came up with the question drinks) Truth or Dare You pick, then everyone else comes to a consensus of what you have to do -Wasted Education-One drink for every year of education irrelevant to your current job Punishment for knocking down the tower is either chug a beer or take a shot. Funny Pictures brought to you by LolSnaps. Constant updates of the best funny pictures on the web.
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