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Beautiful, Comfortable, and Energy: "TMI!" INTENSE!" "TOO EMOTIONAL!" OVER SHARING AND BP D TEXTSFROMTHEBORDERLINE.TUMBLR.COM WHAT IS IT? TEXTSFROMTHEBORDERLINE.TUMBLR.COM THE PROCESS People with BPD are emotionally intense, emotionally sensitive, and emotionally intelligent We need to feel like our thoughts, feelings, and experiences are received (and hopefully, reciprocated!) Oversharing is the process of us revealing these things in extreme detail, about every possible topic, in a effort to demonstrate the intricacies and depths of our inner processes e want you to understand + appreciate us WHY IT HAPPENS If we're (over)sharing anything with you, it means you make us feel comfortable, safe, loved+accepted. We are free to be ourselves, and we want you to know that! It's our attempt at building intimacy, trust, and care POSITIVE OUTCOMES Helps develop clear+strong communicat ion skills. Honestly conveys what's on our minod Can nurture amazingly close, fulfilling relationships. DIFFICULTIES The other person may feel overwhelmed Oversharing is not a substitute for healthy intimacy Can unintentionally disregard boundaries THINGS TO WORK ON Communicating with the appropriate time, place, and person; it's good to share, just make sure it's okay! It doesn't have to be an outburst; take your time. Be patient; give the other person time to respond SHARING +CARING HEALTHY INTIMACY Intimacy involves feelings of emotional closeness and connectedness with another person, along with the desire to share each other's innermost thoughts and feelings. There are different types of intimacy: emotional, intellectual, physical (sexual), experiential, and spiritual. Oversharing can encompass all five, but most commonly it involves emotional + intellectual ed A healthy level of intimacy is achieved when both the communicator and the receiver feel safe +comfortable to voice their inner processes, when they are respected + encouraged to do so, and when there is active listening, empathy (cognitive, at the very least) and enuine interest involved HEART TO HEART Having a discussion that is meaningful can leave you both feeling closer than ever before. You can build appreciation of each other's emotional life, interests, goals, fears, sorrows, and victories. Beautiful moments happen when they are free, spontaneous, and motivated by care instead of pressure. The exchange of energy+ perspectives can help Borderlines lessen anxiousness, fear of abandonment, feeling like they are a burden + help them learn how to communicate better OVERSHARING IS REALLY ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY, NOT ABOUT BOTTLING YOURSELF UP AND THEN EXPLODING TEXTSFROMTHEBORDERLINE.TUMBLR.COM
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Ass, Bad, and Bad Day: Straight guy worries he's being homophobic to gay roommate, realizes he's fallen in love with him Plot twist: it turns out I don't have any problem with Alex kissing guys if it's me he's kissing. hutchj: artemuscain-gamingandbs: mamatronchatoro: puppygays: oh god, they were roommates This straight guy, who we’ll call Mike, has been roommates with Alex for a year. When Alex told Mike he was gay, he was absolutely fine with it. But then when Alex started to bring guys home…he started getting annoyed, resentful, disgusted. Posting on Reddit, he said: ‘First things first, let me say that I’ve never thought of myself as being discriminatory before. I had a gay friend in high school and we made it through some tough times together, I never felt weird about him dating a guy. So all of this is coming out of nowhere. ‘”Alex” has been my roommate for one year, and I pretty much knew upfront about him being gay. At some point we became friendly enough with each other that we could even joke about it, as in, sometimes he’ll pretend to flirt with me and I’ll pretend to flirt back. I’m straight and he knows that, but I don’t feel threatened by him flirting with me and he says most straight guys do. ‘The problems started because of this: Alex brings guys home sometimes. At the start I thought I was okay with it, since it’s really not my business who he sleeps with. He’s usually discreet enough about it that I don’t see/hear anything I wouldn’t want to see/hear from anyone else, but for some reason I’ve started feeling weird if I even see him with other guys. ‘I don’t know when it started but one time that really sticks out to me is when I came home and saw him and some guy making out on the couch. I don’t know how to describe what it was like to see that, except that for a moment I felt so bad I thought I was going to throw up. Alex was embarrassed (he didn’t think I’d be back for a while), but I told him it was okay since I was embarrassed too. ‘I felt bad for being as disgusted as I was, since there’s NO good reason for me to have a reaction like that. I thought maybe they just caught me by surprise and that’s why I reacted so strongly, but it turned out it wasn’t a one-time thing. After that, every time he has a guy over (not that often, but every once in a while) I just start feeling like shit and wishing that guy would leave, and I can’t stop thinking about what these guys might have done to him even though I don’t want to imagine that. It makes me really uncomfortable and grossed out. And these are just guys he fools around with, I don’t know what I’d do if he ends up getting an actual boyfriend. ‘Alex has started to notice and it’s affecting our friendship. The other day I came home right when some guy was about to leave, and the guy tried to be polite to me but I ended up being rude to him (don’t remember what I said, but it was really obvious I was pissed). When the guy left, Alex asked me why I was being an asshole. I didn’t know what to say, but then he asked if I had a problem with him sleeping with other guys. I said no. For some reason that pissed him off more and he said I can’t complain since I used to bring my fuckbuddy over and he was forced to see me being affectionate with her sometimes. (I was in an FWB situation with a girl in the early days of me and Alex living together, but I broke it off after a few months and I haven’t done anything with anyone since.) I agreed with him and told him I was just having a bad day and I don’t care who he sleeps with, but he looked more upset and told me he’s going to a friend’s place to cool off. I said okay. When he was leaving for some reason he casually said, “and you’ll be okay if I sleep with him as long as I do at his place and not ours, right?” Or something like that. I told him it’s none of my business what he does at someone else’s place, but when he said that I felt sick to my stomach and couldn’t stop thinking about it. ‘He didn’t show up later that night even though he was supposed to hang out with me and my sister. He’s never blown me off before and it made me feel like shit, but part of it was my fault since I made him feel like I was judging him for sleeping with guys. Now he’s acting like nothing happened but I’m worried I might mess things up if it happens again. I want to keep him as a friend, but he’d be hurt if he knew that whenever I think about him with other guys it disgusts me. ‘How do I deal with this? I’ve never been homophobic but I’ve suddenly developed some kind of homophobia where just the idea of my roommate’s sex life makes me uncomfortable. And I don’t react like this to other gay people either, it’s just Alex. I don’t know if this means I’m only okay with gay people as long as I’m not living with them or what. Does anyone else have experience with this? I want to get over myself and stop whatever this is, but if I can’t I’m going to have to leave since the last thing I want to do is hurt Alex, and if I stay here and keep automatically judging him for his lifestyle that’s what’s going to happen. ‘tl;dr: Roommate is gay, I am not but I thought I was okay with him being gay until I realised I feel crappy when I see him with other guys and it’s started to affect our friendship. How to deal with this/stop being such a dick?’ One Redditor asked: ‘Are you sure that weird feeling isn’t jealousy…? i mean, this only seems to revolve around Alex specifically.’ And Mike responded: ‘I thought about that, but I don’t know what I’m meant to be jealous of. He definitely has a more active sex life than I do, but reacting like this to something like that seems really strange and irrational.’ The Redditor responded: ‘Yeah i thought maybe you don’t like seeing Alex with other people because you want his attention to yourself?’ ‘The day I made the post, I met up with my sister Laura [24F] and I showed her the post. She read the whole thing and called me an oblivious walnut and said it sounds like I have a crush on Alex. The same conclusion some of you came to in the original post. ‘Anyway, she talked me through it and we confirmed I’m not as straight as I thought I was. She also pointed out something in my original post, where I said the more I tried to reassure him I didn’t mind who he slept with, the more he got upset. Also: how he brought my old FWB situation into it. I just thought he was understandably mad with me for being an asshole, but Laura thought it sounded like maybe Alex wanted me to be jealous? We moved on from that topic pretty quickly, though, since I couldn’t really handle the implications of that when I’d JUST started to understand that I like this guy. ‘The next few days were mostly me sitting on my ass trying to wrap my head around everything. I was scared of messing up our friendship and losing him, but I was even more scared that I might just let this pass without saying anything and then he gets a boyfriend and I have to see him with another guy…etc. Because if that happened I would probably have to end it anyway, since as we’ve established, I’m not great at dealing with him being with other guys. ‘Probably could have planned it better, but I told him. Right after a Tarantino marathon, if anyone’s interested, since nothing says romance like graphic violence. I told him I’ve been such a dick because I was jealous. I don’t think he got what I was getting at because he just laughed a little and said I didn’t have to be jealous since it wasn’t like I’d have any trouble finding people to sleep with me. No clue how I explained, it’s a blur. Luckily he saw how nervous I was so he knew I was serious. ‘We talked. Long story short: all that flirting was real, but Alex didn’t have any hope of it going further because of me being an oblivious “straight” guy. So he’s been trying to get over me. He laughed really hard when I told him about how I mistook my jealousy for homophobia, and he teased me by saying he’d never expected me to be the jealous type. Then again, we both ended up laughing a lot of out of nervousness and awkwardness. I’ve never seen him like that before since he’s usually pretty confident. In the end we agreed to maybe try something out, and we kissed. Never kissed anyone with a beard before, so…interesting experience, but also really good. (Plot twist: it turns out I don’t have any problem with Alex kissing guys if it’s me he’s kissing.) ‘Since then we’ve kind of been easing into the whole dating thing, I guess? I know this place is wary about roommate relationships and I get why, but it’s been great so far. We had our first proper date last weekend and it was incredible, though a bit weird since we’ve done that a thousand times already and this time there was a new context. At home we still do our normal thing, but sometimes we get distracted. Last night I almost burned dinner because I had to kiss him and we got kind of carried away, haha. We’re taking the whole sex thing slow though since I’ve never done anything with another guy before. ‘I’m a little worried about coming out to my family and my other friends, especially since this is almost as new for me as it would be for them. My parents are very openminded and my mom especially loves Alex. But I have some more conservative family members on my dad’s side, and I can already imagine them blaming Alex for turning me gay. They can also be pretty racist (Laura’s boyfriend is Latino so she knows all about that) and Alex is mixed. It’s something to think about in the longterm, I guess. Alex has said he doesn’t expect me to jump out of the closet right away, but if we end up calling ourselves a couple then I’m not going to keep him a secret or anything. ‘So…we’re trying. And I am not a homophobe, and nobody needed therapy. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I was this happy, and I never would have expected this when I made that first post. It’s a good thing some of you picked up on the actual problem and tried to get it through to me despite me being an oblivious walnut, so…thanks, guys.’ Funniest self-realization in the world? ‘Plot twist: it turns out I don’t have any problem with Alex kissing guys if it’s me he’s kissing.’ This was…. cute??? Someone make a movie out of this b/c this was an emotional roller coaster. 
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Books, Children, and Dating: kamorth: nerdygirlnoodles: Okay, but seriously on the topic of straight people being so overly concerned about their children being exposed to homosexuality As some of you know, I am a makeup artist in a holistic beauty boutique in a very wealthy area of eastern New York. The week before Halloween I was offering simple costume makeup designs for both adults and children. So my last client of the evening was a 15 year old girl who came in to get her makeup done for the Halloween dance at her school. I was enjoying a conversation with both the girl and her mother when suddenly the topic of transgender came up. I got a little nervous because I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when I hear people speaking negatively about these sorts of topics and as I mentioned, my store is in a very upscale, white conservative area Anyway, the girl starts telling us that her friend prefers to be a boy now. She says it very simply and comfortably and it made me happy to see her talk about it as if it was really no big deal Her mother says How does she even know what transgender is though? She's a little young to be making a decision like that. I really think the media is taking things too far with all this gay stuff. I'm not against it or anything, but didn't you just tell me two boys in your class are dating too? The girl said that yes, two boys she knew were dating and another boy she knew was gay also. (And she also corrected the pronouns her mother used for her friend) nl don't mind that she knows that homosexuality is," the mother said But I don't think it should be taught at such a young age. Did you know it's on Disney channel now? It took me a moment to respond, I just kept painting the girl's face until I could figure out what I wanted to say, Well," I said. "We tend to teach heterosexuality literally from the time a child is born. Most children's books and movies are even centered around a romance of some kind like a Prince and a Princess for example. There's rarely a children's movie that comes out where the main male and female character don't end up marrying each other in the end. If we don't have a problem flooding our children's minds with heterosexuality from the time they are able to sit up and watch a movie on their own, what is so wrong with showing them two boys or two girls being in love? We aren't showing them sex. We aren't showing them anything inappropriate. Since when is love inappropriate? If we show them love in all it's forms (be it gay or straight) from an early age, they will see that it's all perfectly normal and natural and maybe we can finally put homophobic the past.." The woman considered this for a second and then said "I just feel like they see it and then they start to think that they might be too And maybe they are. But isn't it better for them to know that it's okay? They aren't hurting anyone." Then the girl said. "No ones going around just thinking they are gay because they know what gay is, mom. I know what a chicken is, that doesn't mean I'm going to wake up tomorrow and start clucking." I loved this kid. I hope she does well in all of her endeavors I'm not going to wake up tomorrow and start clucking Teach them well and let them lead the way.

Teach them well and let them lead the way.

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Being Alone, Crazy, and Facebook: A mother-of-two suffering from postpartum depression has posed for a powerful photoshoot featuring two vastly different parenting scenarios to show what it is really like to live with the mood disorder Kathy DiVincenzo with Paul DiVincenzo and Danielle Fantis May 2 at 7-27am- Chances are, you're feeling pretty uncomfortable right now (trust me I am too). I'm going to challenge you to push past the discomfort soclety has placed on postpartum mental illness and hear me out May has been declared Postpartum Depression Awareness Month and as someone with diagnosed postpartum depression, anxiety, and OCD I feel like it's time to show you what that can really look like, not just the side of me that's Facebook worthy The truth is, both of these pictures represent my life depending on the day. I would only ever comfortably share one of these realities though and that's the problem. The only thing more exhausting than having these conditions is pretending daily that I don't. I work twice as hard to hide this reality from you because I'm afraid to make you uncomfortable. I'm afraid you'll think I'm weak, crazy, a terrible mother, or the other million things my mind convinces me of and I know Im not alone in those thoughts. We need to stop assuming that the postpartum period is always euphoric, because for 1 in 7 it's not. We need to start asking new parents how they're doing in a deeper way than the normal, "so how are you doing? that triggers the knee jerk, "everything's greatl" response. We need to learn the signs, symptoms, risk factors, and support plans for postpartum conditions. We need to break the stigma and BEndTheSilence by sharing our stories and letting others know theyre not alone. If you have had a postpartum mood disorder please share your story below, or simply postto show you can relate. Let's show athers that they don't have to suffer in silence n case no one has told you, you're doing an amazing job. You are loved and you are worthy. You're nat alone. Information to local and national support will be in the comment section. I know how unbel ievably hard it is to reach out, but I promise you it is worth it. YOU'RE worth it Thank you to my close friend Danielle from Danielle Fantis Photography, a fellow mom that struggled with ppd, for capturing these images for me and encouraging me to share them with you. She encouraged other women who have dealt with postpartum depression to share their stories. Many did Lauren Fisher So very true and such a serious topic that needs to be out in the open more! I struggled with both postpartum depression and anxiety. I'm lucky to have a great support system of family, friends and doctors that helped me through it. I pray all those that experience it don't suffer in silence. Like Reply 1 Yesterday at 12:10pm Charly Higson I feel like this most days, suffered with ppd with my 1st and still suffering a year later with my 2nd child. X Like Reply 21 hrs Grace Cenita nobody would understand postpartum even your husband doesn't know about it! Thanks for your bravery. Count me in, im one of the others Like Reply 1 Yesterday at 12:16pm Edited Stephanie Creasey Thank you, so much for sharing this. I was fortunate enough not to have ppd,but I do have OCD and as a new mom, I've struggled daily with making sure everything is always picture perfect. You are strong, you are oved and you are doing a great job! Don't let your inner demons win. Like Reply 1 Yesterday at 9:44am Now go find a mom in your life, and ask her "how are you? No, how are you really? And then listen. Mom goes viral with photos showing what life with postpartum depression actually looks like.

Mom goes viral with photos showing what life with postpartum depression actually looks like.

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Animals, Community, and Confused: Issue 7- Bisexualit Music: Music in Commercials Personality: Jung & Bisexuality Psych in news Exploring Mental Health: Staying Mentally Well Over Summer Animal: Spatial Cognition in Animals Significant Person: Camille Claudel Opinion Piece: A Cross-Cultural View of Bisexuality LGBT: Bi-Erasure and Its Effects Child: Piaget Psych Myths: Bisexual Doesn't Equal Polyamorous Media Review: Beauty and the Beast Forensic: Competency to Stand Trial vs Criminal Responsibility Psych2Go: Dreams Neuropsychology: Vision Science Career Tips: Tips For Your First Internship Social: Why Those Born Bisexual Have The Most Open Mind When It Comes To Falling In Love Special Needs: 5 Portrayals of Developmental Disorders in Media Creative Writing #1 & #2 Community Submission: The Effect of Stigma on a psych2go: We’re very pleased to announce the titles of the articles for issue 7 of our quarterly magazine! As previously announced, the topic will be Bisexuality as part of our gender and sexuality series. Bisexuality is the most common identity in the LGBT community - with 5% of men, and 3 % of women identifying as bisexual (Kinsey Institute, 2007). Despite this however, bisexual’s still experience a lot of stigma and misunderstanding, and this comes from both within the LGBT community and outside of it (Roberts, Home Hoyt, 2015). People who are bisexual experience the highest rates of violence, suicide, poverty and discrimination. 60% of bisexuals have experienced biphobia in the work place, and they are 6 times more likely to be closeted than homosexuals (Understanding Issues Facing American Bisexuals). There are many myths about bisexuality and people who are bisexual that feed into these high rates of violence and discrimination. Some of the most prevalent being that bisexuals are just greedy, confused or attention-seeking, the idea that polyamory and bisexuality are the same thing, the idea that they are immune to discrimination due to being “straight-passing”, the idea that bi-erasure is no big deal, and the idea that bisexuality is a phase.We believe that by raising awareness about bisexuality, issues that bisexuals face, and also how these myths are incorrect we can help tackle the core of what some bisexuals face. This is why we’ve decided on bisexuality for our awareness topic for this issue. We address some of these myths in our magazine - for example in the “Myths” section we explore the myth that bisexuality and polyamory are the same thing. In the LGBT section we explore the very real effects of bi-erasure. And in our Community Submission section we explore the effects stigma (such as biphobia) has on a person. As well as this we also have many other great topics from psychology, including How To Stay Mentally Well Over Summer, and Piaget’s Theory of Child Development.If you would like to pre-order this magazine, and help support us in our mission to raise awareness for the topics that really matter to yourselves and us, check out our Patreon hereTogether we can make the world a better place.

psych2go: We’re very pleased to announce the titles of the articles for issue 7 of our quarterly magazine! As previously announced, the top...

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Being Alone, Matlock, and Tumblr: NOAM CHOMSKY: It's a pretty remarkable fact that-first of all, it is a joke. Half the world is cracking up in laughter. The United States doesn't just interfere in elections. It overthrows governments it doesn't like, institutes military dictatorships. Simply in the case of Russia alone-it's the least of it-the U.S. government, under Clinton, intervened quite blatantly and openly, then tried to conceal it, to get their man Yeltsin in, in all sorts of ways. So, this, as I say, it's considered-it's turning the United States, again, into a laughingstock in the world. So why are the Democrats focusing on this? In fact, why are they focusing so much attention on the one element of Trump's programs which is fairly reasonable, the one ray of light in this gloom: trying to reduce tensions with Russia? That's-the tensions on the Russian border are extremely serious. They could escalate to a major terminal war. Efforts to try to reduce them should be welcomed. Just a couple of days ago, the former U.S. ambassador to Russia, Jack Matlock, came out and said he just can't believe that so much attention is being paid to apparent efforts by the incoming administration to establish connections with Russia. He said, "Sure, that's just what they ought to be doing." So, meanwhile, this one topic is the primary locus of concern and critique, while, meanwhile, the policies are proceeding step by step, which are extremely destructive and harmful. So, you know, yeah, maybe the Russians tried to interfere in the election. That's not a major issue. Maybe the people in the Trump campaign were talking to the Russians. Well, OK, not a major point, certainly less than is being done constantly. And it is a kind of a paradox, I think, that the one issue that seems to inflame the Democratic opposition is the one thing that has some justification and reasonable aspects to it. c-bassmeow: Noam Chomsky’s piercing comments on the Democrat’s “Russia stole our election!” obsession. From an interview with DemocracyNow.

c-bassmeow: Noam Chomsky’s piercing comments on the Democrat’s “Russia stole our election!” obsession. From an interview with DemocracyNow...

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Being Alone, Matlock, and Tumblr: NOAM CHOMSKY: It's a pretty remarkable fact that-first of all, it is a joke. Half the world is cracking up in laughter. The United States doesn't just interfere in elections. It overthrows governments it doesn't like, institutes military dictatorships. Simply in the case of Russia alone-it's the least of it-the U.S. government, under Clinton, intervened quite blatantly and openly, then tried to conceal it, to get their man Yeltsin in, in all sorts of ways. So, this, as I say, it's considered-it's turning the United States, again, into a laughingstock in the world. So why are the Democrats focusing on this? In fact, why are they focusing so much attention on the one element of Trump's programs which is fairly reasonable, the one ray of light in this gloom: trying to reduce tensions with Russia? That's-the tensions on the Russian border are extremely serious. They could escalate to a major terminal war. Efforts to try to reduce them should be welcomed. Just a couple of days ago, the former U.S. ambassador to Russia, Jack Matlock, came out and said he just can't believe that so much attention is being paid to apparent efforts by the incoming administration to establish connections with Russia. He said, "Sure, that's just what they ought to be doing." So, meanwhile, this one topic is the primary locus of concern and critique, while, meanwhile, the policies are proceeding step by step, which are extremely destructive and harmful. So, you know, yeah, maybe the Russians tried to interfere in the election. That's not a major issue. Maybe the people in the Trump campaign were talking to the Russians. Well, OK, not a major point, certainly less than is being done constantly. And it is a kind of a paradox, I think, that the one issue that seems to inflame the Democratic opposition is the one thing that has some justification and reasonable aspects to it. c-bassmeow: Noam Chomsky’s piercing comments on the Democrat’s “Russia stole our election!” obsession. From an interview with DemocracyNow.

c-bassmeow: Noam Chomsky’s piercing comments on the Democrat’s “Russia stole our election!” obsession. From an interview with DemocracyNow...

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Being Alone, Matlock, and Yeah: NOAM CHOMSKY: It's a pretty remarkable fact that-first of all, it is a joke. Half the world is cracking up in laughter. The United States doesn't just interfere in elections. It overthrows governments it doesn't like, institutes military dictatorships. Simply in the case of Russia alone-it's the least of it-the U.S. government, under Clinton, intervened quite blatantly and openly, then tried to conceal it, to get their man Yeltsin in, in all sorts of ways. So, this, as I say, it's considered-it's turning the United States, again, into a laughingstock in the world. So why are the Democrats focusing on this? In fact, why are they focusing so much attention on the one element of Trump's programs which is fairly reasonable, the one ray of light in this gloom: trying to reduce tensions with Russia? That's-the tensions on the Russian border are extremely serious. They could escalate to a major terminal war. Efforts to try to reduce them should be welcomed. Just a couple of days ago, the former U.S. ambassador to Russia, Jack Matlock, came out and said he just can't believe that so much attention is being paid to apparent efforts by the incoming administration to establish connections with Russia. He said, "Sure, that's just what they ought to be doing." So, meanwhile, this one topic is the primary locus of concern and critique, while, meanwhile, the policies are proceeding step by step, which are extremely destructive and harmful. So, you know, yeah, maybe the Russians tried to interfere in the election. That's not a major issue. Maybe the people in the Trump campaign were talking to the Russians. Well, OK, not a major point, certainly less than is being done constantly. And it is a kind of a paradox, I think, that the one issue that seems to inflame the Democratic opposition is the one thing that has some justification and reasonable aspects to it. Noam Chomskys piercing comments on the Democrats Russia stole our election! obsession. From an interview with DemocracyNow.

Noam Chomskys piercing comments on the Democrats Russia stole our election! obsession. From an interview with DemocracyNow.

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