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Bad, Future, and Goals: lamborghini MILLIONAIRE MENTOR DO YOUR FUTURE SELF A FAVOR AND WORK HARD NOW. Who you are in the future depends on what you do today. Here are a few vital things you can do today that your future self will thank you for. Take this checklist and do each step thoroughly. Your life will line up like magic. ✔Invest in yourself! We spend so much time investing in relationships and this is a good thing. But we cannot forget that investment in ourselves is as important. Take some time now. Start investing on bettering yourself to become a better person, it will attract even better thing to your life. ✔Decide what your values are and live them every day. A person who has a strong set of beliefs and values is a happy and strong person. A person who does not have a clearly defined set of beliefs and values is tossed about in life like a tiny ship on an angry ocean. There is nothing certain to a person like this except the fact that he will be at the mercy of others ✔Measure your successes by your own definition of “success” Everywhere we are bombarded with images of “success” we are told we are successful if we are thin, rich and have power. Well guess what? There are many people with all of those things and most of those people are completely miserable. ✔Seek forward progress on the path to your goals. Realize that some goals may take years and others, a lifetime. Keep track of your forward progress and give yourself rewards for making it a little further on your path. ✔Don’t stop learning. Learning is the best thing you can do to improve your current and future life! Learn a new skill, language, something! ✔Create good habits. Good habits are the key to all success. Bad habits are the unlocked door to failure. ✔Understand that wherever you are, you can always make a new start. It is never too late and things are never too far gone. What you have done in the past is in the past and your future is what you make it. All you have to do is plot your course and go! - Good luck! - future success millionairementor

Who you are in the future depends on what you do today. Here are a few vital things you can do today that your future self will thank you fo...

Barbie, Complex, and Empire: silverbellsolicitor It kind of really corfuses me when Barbie commercials have little girls dressing them up and brushing their hair Like no Barbie is not about fashion. Barbie is about collecting as many dolls as you can get your grubby 7 year old hands on and dominating the living room with your expansive empire of plastic women. Barbie is about creating intricate social structures and spicy inter-family conflicts between town house residents. Barbie is about formulating complex back stories for tortured Ken dolls with emotional scars. It's about creating near-sadistic dramatic plot twists that split up marriages and cause that one Barble you really dislike to be ceremoniously tossed down the stairs in order to be offed by the jealous ex-wife of Ken #4. kerryrenaissance Yes, but how do you make it into a marketable commercial that won't frealk parents and caregivers out? quasi-normalcy I've always had the impression that advertisers don't really understand how girls play with their toys. mappysnappy When I played with Barbies I had this thing called The Dead Pit" which was a purple bratz laundry hamper. So whenever a Barbie got killed off she would go in there. And what I would do was I would carry her to the dead pit while singing the dead pit song. The dead pit song was just saying The dead pit over and over again in different tones. Anyway, once I finally reached the pitl would announce (name) has died. And drop her in. I would wait a few moments. Then, I would violently shake the hamper while shrieking, pretending to be the tortured souls of dead barbies from the underworld. I thought it was hilarious Source: duplexity 126,102 notes Barbie pit

Barbie pit

Bad, Cute, and Fucking: wittyusernamed My buddy read an article about octopus intelligence. It was feeding time, and the handler dumped some shrimp into an octopus' tank. Then he went into another room and sat at his desk. A while later, a shrimp was tossed onto his desk The octopus, upon finding one bad shrimp in the lot, had grabbed it, escaped its tank, crossed the hall, and threw the expired shrimp at its caretaker. Not only does this showcase their problem-solving capabilities, but also that it could have escaped at any time. It just broke out this time to chuck an off shrimp in indignation at its handler. That's not just intelligence, that's a human-like reaction. Kinda make you wonder exactly how smart these guys can be.. queensjenn OH MY GOD roseweasley7 I went to the aquarium once and we had a tour and we walked past the octopus tank and it was duct taped shut so l asked why and the guy was like. "Well, we had a problem before because these fish were disappearing randomly at night and we had no idea why. Turns out the octopus had memorised the night guards rounds and would creep out of its tank, crawl across the floor to the fish tank, have a little snack and be back in its own tank with the lid shut before the guard came back." they are super smart dominawritesthings I love octopuses so, so much. cassandrashipsit I am both delighted and FUCKING TERRIFIED. ze-witch-arteest Once I went to the aquarium where they had a baby pacific red octopus in a tank. I had gone there to work on a few real life sketches, obviously I wanted to do one of an octopus. So I kinda just kneeled in front of the tank, and started sketching The octopus didn't mind, he sat happily. Then, 5 minutes later, he started moving to the front of the tank, where I was. This tiny octopus faces me directly and starts posing. I don't know how other to explain it but he started curlung his tentacles in this really graceful way then wouldn't move for a few minutes. Then again, a new pose. That tiny cute motherfucker More laughs at FUNsubstance.com Prankster Gangster
Anaconda, Anna, and Children: Swedish Christmas Goat Burned Down for 27th Time a EXPAND just-a-sideblog: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: naniyou: naniyou: forthegothicheroine: sylvysparrow: cindehella: lord-kitschener: arealliveghost: stillvisions: maybenotboring: and at no point has anyone thought “maybe we should not build a giant flammable goat this year” They tried fireproofing. And armed guards. And fences, and cameras
 Sadly the wikipedia page has been cut down by super srs folks to remove all the awesome Keystone cops tales of the goat’s history (emphasis added by me) 1966 Stig GavlĂ©n came up with the idea of a giant goat made out of straw. But it turned out that GavlĂ©n organisation did not have enough funding for the goat. Then Harry Ström, who at that time was the chairman of the Södra Kungsgatan Ideella Förening (a non-profit society), decided to pay the whole cost for the goat out of his own pocket. The goat stood until midnight of New Year’s Eve, when it went up in flames. The perpetrator, who was from Hofors,GĂ€strikland, was found and convicted of vandalism. The first goat was insured and Ström got all his money back. 1967 Nothing happened. 1968 The goat survived. A fence was built around the goat. Previously it was popular for children to play hide-and-seek inside and around the goat. There was also a rumor that one night a couple had sex inside the goat. In subsequent years the inside of the goat was protected by a chicken-wire net. 1969 The goat was burnt down on New Year’s Eve. 1970 The goat was burnt down only six hours after it was assembled. Two very drunk teenagers were connected with the crime. With help from several financial contributors the goat was reassembled out of lake reed. 1971 The Southern Merchants got tired of their goats being burned and stopped building the goat. The Natural Science Club (Naturvetenskapliga Föreningen:NF) from the School of Vasa (Vasaskolan) took over.  1972 The goat collapsed because of sabotage. 1973 N/A 1974 Burnt. 1975 N/A 1976 Hit by a car. 1977 N/A 1978 Again, the goat was kicked to pieces. 1979 The goat was burnt even before it was erected. A new one was built and fireproofed. It was destroyed and broken into pieces. 1980 Burnt down on Christmas Eve. 1981 Nothing happened. 1982 Burnt down on Lucia (13 December). 1983 The legs were destroyed. 1984 Burnt down on 12 December, the night before Lucia. 1985 The 12.5 metre (41 ft) tall goat of the Natural Science Club was featured in the Guinness Book of Records for the first time. Even though the goat was enclosed by a 2 metres (6.6 ft) high metal fence, guarded by Securitas and even soldiers from the GĂ€vle I 14 Infantry Regiment, it was burnt down in January. 1986 The merchants of GĂ€vle decided they were willing to build the goat once again. From 1986 on two goats were built, the Southern Merchants’ and the School of Vasa’s. The big goat burnt down the night before Christmas Eve. 1987 A heavily fireproofed goat was built. It got burnt down a week before Christmas.[21] 1988 Nothing happened to the goat, but gamblers were for the first time able to gamble on the fate of the goat with English bookmakers. 1989 Again, the goat burnt down before it was assembled. Financial contributions from the public were raised to rebuild a goat that was burnt down in January. In March 1990 another goat was built, this time for the shooting of a Swedish motion picture called Black Jack. 1990 Nothing happened. The goat was guarded by many volunteers. 1991 The goat was joined by an advertising sled, that turned out to be illegally built. On the morning of Christmas Eve the goat was burnt down. It was later rebuilt to be taken to Stockholm as a part of a protest campaign against the closing of the I 14 Infantry Regiment. 1992 The goat was burnt down eight days after it was built. The Natural Science Club’s goat burnt down the same night. The Southern Merchants’ goat was rebuilt, but burned down on 20 December. The perpetrator of the three attacks was caught and sent to jail. The Goat Committee was founded in 1992. 1993 Once more the goat was featured in the Guinness Book of Records, the School of Vasa’s goat measured 14.9 metres (49 ft). The goat was guarded by taxis and the Swedish Home Guard. Nothing happened. 1994 Nothing happened. The goat followed the Swedish national hockey team to Italy for the World Championship in hockey. 1995 A Norwegian was arrested for attempting to burn down the goat. Burnt down on the morning of Christmas Day. Rebuilt to be standing before the 550th anniversary of GĂ€vle county. 1996 The first time the goat was guarded by webcams, nothing happened. 1997 Damaged by fireworks. The Natural Science Club’s goat was attacked too, but survived with minor damage. 1998 Burnt down on 11 December, even though there was a major blizzard. Was rebuilt. 1999 Burnt down only a couple of hours after it was erected. Rebuilt again before Lucia. The Natural Science Club’s goat was burnt down as well. 2000 Burnt down a couple of days before New Year’s Eve. The Natural Science Club’s goat got tossed in the GĂ€vle river. 2001 Goat set on fire on 23 December by Lawrence Jones, a 51-year-old visitor from Cleveland, Ohio, who spent 18 days in jail and was subsequently convicted and ordered to pay 100,000 Swedish kronor in damages. The court confiscated Jones’s cigarette lighter with the argument that he clearly was not able to handle it. Jones stated in court that he was no “goat burner”, and believed that he was taking part in a completely legal goat-burning tradition. After Jones was released from jail he went straight back to the US without paying his fine. As of 2006 it was still unpaid. The Natural Science Club’s goat was also burnt down. 2002 A 22 year old from Stockholm tried to set the Southern Merchants’ goat on fire, but failed, the goat receiving only minor damage. On Lucia the goat was guarded by Swedish radio and TV personality Gert Fylking. 2003 Burnt down on 12 December. 2004 Burnt 21 December, only three days before Christmas Eve. The fire brigade quickly arrived on the scene, but the goat could not be saved. No new goat was built. 2005 Burnt by unknown vandals reportedly dressed as Santa and the gingerbread man, by shooting a flaming arrow at the goat at 21:00 on 3 December. Reconstructed on 5 December. The hunt for the arsonist responsible for the goat-burning in 2005 was featured on the weekly Swedish live broadcast TV3’s “Most Wanted“ (”Efterlyst”) on 8 December. 2006 On the night of 15 December at 03:00, someone tried to set fire to the goat by dousing the right front leg in petrol (gasoline). The red ribbon on that leg was slightly burned and fell off. The lower part of the right leg was scorched, but the rest of the goat failed to light. The leg was repaired that morning. The Natural Science Club’s goat was burned at about 00:40 on 20 December; the vandals were not seen and got away. On the night of 25 December, a drunken man managed to climb up on the goat. Before the police arrived on the scene the man climbed down and disappeared. He did not try to set fire to the goat. The Southern Merchants’ goat survived New Year’s Eve and was taken down on 2 January. It is now stored in a secret location. 2007 The Natural Science Club’s goat was toppled on 13 December and was burned on the night of 24 December. The Southern Merchants’ goat survived. 2008 10,000 people turned out for the inauguration of one of the goats. No back-up goat was built to replace the main goat should the worst happen, nor was the goat treated with flame repellent (Anna Östman, spokesperson of the Goat-committee said the repellent made it look ugly in the previous years, like a brown terrier). On 16 December the Natural Science Club’s Goat was vandalised and later removed. On 26 December there was an attempt to burn down the Southern Merchants’ Goat but patriotic passers-by managed to extinguish the fire. The following day the goat finally succumbed to the flames ignited by an unknown assailant at 03:50 CET. 2009 A person attempted to set the Southern Merchants’ goat on fire the night of 7 December. An unsuccessful attempt was made to throw the Natural Science Club’s goat into the river the weekend of 11 December. The culprit then tried, again without success, to set the goat on fire. Someone stole the Natural Science Club’s goat utilizing a truck the night of 14 December.[36] On the night of 23 December before 04:00 the South Merchant goat was set on fire and was burned to the frame, even though it had a thick layer of snow on its back.[37] The goat had two online webcams which were put out of service by aDoS attack, instigated by computer hackers just before the burning.[38] 2010 On the night of 2 December, arsonists made an unsuccessful attempt to burn the Natural Science Club’s goat.[39] On 17 December, a Swedish news site reported that one of the guards tasked with protecting the Southern Merchants’ goat had been offered payment to leave his post so that the goat could be stolen via helicopter and transported to Stockholm. Both goats survived and were dismantled and returned to storage in early January 2011. 2011 The inauguration of the goat took place on 27 November. The fire-fighters of GĂ€vle sprayed the goat with water to create a coating of ice in the hope of protecting it from arson. The goat was burnt down in the early morning of 2 December. 2012 The inauguration of the goat took place on 2 December. It was burnt just ten days later in the hours before midnight of 12 December, one day before Lucia. 2013 As in 2006 and 2007, the straw used to build the goat has been soaked in anti-flammable liquid to prevent it from burning in the event of an arson attack. The inauguration ceremony took place on 1 December. But despite the anti-flammable liquids the goat was burnt down on the early morning of December 21. Any history of plots involving a DDoS attack on the security cameras, a plot to steal it with a helicopter and flaming arrows shot by people dressed as Santa and the Gingerbread man is just plain hilarious in my book. I’m laughing so much about this goat. obviously if you build something big enough people are going to have sex in it and burn it down. obviously what the fuck is going on in sweden how will the saga continue this year fascinating The saga of the goat is the best part of the season. For those curious about 2015â€Čs goat: It’s that time of year again 2016: Burned within hours of being built 2017: Survived 2018: Nothing yet
 WILL THE GOAT LIVE THIS YEAR Best tumblr meme
Ass, Bitch, and Church: I dont mind a nigga hugging my girl but it you pick her up and do that cute twirl, imma break your jaw 10/30/18, 10:36 AM 80 Retweets 244 Likes Papa John, @johnda... 10/30/18 Or one of them rocking side to side hugs 2 you will receive arn uppercut at mach speed I’ll beat the dog shit out of a nigga like my name was stewie. Any dude that turn into Kevin Hart around your girl gotta get hit with that choppa. i remember I was going to football tryouts with my bros in high school. Them niqqas was encouraging me to go but I didn’t want to. They put me on to how the girls who wanted to be cheer leaders be pulling up and watching. I use to be fat. A cheese burger away from being Obeast. During practice coach had the nerve to put me on the skin team for skin vs shirts. Man my titties were wet like submarine missles. I missed every catch bro. I look like the clam when Patrick tossed that peanut at the museum. I felt embarrassed as fucked getting my ankles swirled by my bro Demarcus. Why he had to juke my ass out my church shoes tho. All the hoes was laughing bro. I caused a 3 magnitude earth quake. My crush who I invited was still faithfully sitting there in the stands. I managed to get one touchdown off a safety. I saw her looking at me and I knew she saw me flex on em. Practice was over and I tried to approach my crush for her number. I seen my bro Demarcus pull up. King cock block you don’t say? Nigga was asking about tomorrow hw like he gonna do it. Shorty was hype to see him. Boy went up and gave her one of them rocking chair hugs. When ya meat pressed up against her stomach. Nigga was looking over her shoulders with that Vegeta smirk like” yea ima fuck yo bitch”. I held back tears like the G I was pose to be. I met that Biggs Demarcus in the locker room after to toss hands. That boy punted my ass across the locker room. I ain’t never get a tackled so hard. I felt like a crushed bag of chips. I laid there with no hoes and in need of a ice pack. I learned every homie ain’t ya homie when it comes to pussy 😔. I’m still a where my hug ass niqqa.
Android, Apple, and Friends: when an android user drops their phone & the battery pops out This is the most ghetto sh*t I've ever seen in my life. thisisnotjuli: officially-william-dudley-pelley: the-true-todd-howard: officially-william-dudley-pelley: the-true-todd-howard: officially-william-dudley-pelley: the-true-todd-howard: officially-william-dudley-pelley: the-true-todd-howard: superpagangirl: Oh man a battery that comes out that means it can be replaced thats so shit, ya know the ability to change the battery when it barely holds charge just ugh i love phones that break when the wind changes that are a decade behind specs wise Id rather a phone where the battery pops out then a phone that’s shatters at a tap Or a phone thats not worth £50 that costs £400 Man iPhone ain’t worth it Yea no shit a fuckin £1000 phone that is glass all over and features animated emojis Look at me I’m an iPhone user..whoops my phone is in shards but it’s worth it Apple device user: i dropped it and it broke into piecesAndroid user: i fuckin tossed my phone at a wall and it was ok Apple user: so I rubbed my phone with my shirt and it’s crackedAndroid user: no big deal just a scratch after I hit mine with a car you guys don’t realise how real this shit is; I’ve seen like 5 shattered screens in androids phones in my hole life and like 2 of them where just a tiny thing. you know how many shattered iPhone screens I’ve seen? more than I can count. I think it’s easier to count my friends who didn’t shatter their iPhone in the first five months than the other way around. and this is just talking bout the screens don’t get me started on the actual phone
Bad, Cute, and Fucking: wittyusernamed y buddy read an article about octopu:s intelligence. It was feeding time, and the handler dumped some shrimp into an octopus' tank. Then he went into another room and sat at his desk. A while later, a shrimp was tossed onto his desk. he octopus, upon finding one bad shrimp in the t, had grabbed it, escaped its tank, crossed the hall, and threw the expired shrimp at its caretaker. Not only does this showcase thei problem-solving capabilities, but also that it could have escaped at any time. It just broke out this time to chuck an off shrimp in indignation at its handler. That's not just intelligence, that's a human-like reaction. Kinda make you wonder exactly how smart these guys can be queensjenn OH MY GOD roseweasley7 I went to the aquarium once and we had a tour and we walked past the octopus tank and it was duct taped shut so I asked why and the guy was like. "Well, we had a problem before because these fish were disappearing randomly at night and we had no idea why. Turns out the octopus had memorised the night guards rounds and would creep out of its tank, crawl across the floor to the fish tank, have a little snack and be back in its own tank with the lid shut before the guard came back." they are super smart dominawritesthings love octopuses so, so much ç«­cassandrashipsit I am both delighted and FUCKING TERRIFIED. ze-witch-arteest ce I went to the aquarium where they had a baby pacific red octopus in a tank. I had gone there to work on a few real life sketches obviously I wanted to do one of an octopus. So l kinda just kneeled in front of the tank, and started sketching. The octopus didn't mind, he sat happily. Then, 5 minutes later, he started moving to the front of the tank, where I was. This tiny octopus faces me directly and starts posing I don't know how other to explain it but he started curlung his tentacles in this really graceful way then wouldn't move for a few minutes. Then again, a new pose. That tiny cute motherfucker knew I was drawing him. The more the days go by the closer they get to overthrowing us
Marie Antoinette, She, and October: for 93 Marie Antoinettes body before she was tossed into a rudimentary grave (16 October, 1793).

Marie Antoinettes body before she was tossed into a rudimentary grave (16 October, 1793).