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true face: The Goat Pharoah Wild and totemic, this is a beard for leaders and mystics alike. Equally at home in an elder's meeting or an impromptu worship jam, this is a beard with attitude, and a gentle yet feral energy well suited to a variety of pastoral activities. A field guide for pastoral facial hair. The Guru Goatee Statistics sound best when spoken through the gentle o ocurtain of this gem. Urbane, but not foppish; neat, but with a slight bad boy" flair, it brings that Palo Alto panache without too much West Coast Church Planter Like a fickering shadow under the lower lip, this style puts the "soul" in "soul patch." I don't care who you are, where you're from, this tuft will draw a crowd. Watch carefully though: it's here now, but could be gone by next week's simulcast The Orthodox You'll have a schism with your razor after seeing this beauty. Timeless, yet urbane, this is the beard for the discerning priest of a more Eastern persuasion. Pair with heavy incense. Post-Evangelical Stubble This "IO o clock shadow is more than a statement, it is an implicit philosophical challenge to the entire Evangelical tribe. For too long, we have put pastors in boxes. This casual spattering of hair is both noncom- mittal and a needed reaction against the absurd varnished forms of "how it's ali been thought about The Perennial Youth Pastor Unchanged since the late 90s, this carefully maintained piece clings desperately to the lower lip; like the last green leaf refusing to admit that fall has come. Often seen above skate shoes and superhero t-shirts. oO The Reformed Calvin. Enough saicd Ge-neva have to shave again. The Anabaptist From pasturing to pastoring, this glorious neck beard ("neard") flourishes out from strong Teutonic chins around the world. It's all about community But it's not just for rural brethrenl Nay, an urban Sitz im Leben fits this bold style too. The Neo-Reformed Rigid and unyielding from the front, yet supple and welcoming If approached with filial respect Scented like dark beer and sweet pipe tobacco. You could smother an Arminian with that mess. No one is good enough to wear this, thou groveling worm. A pox on thee for e'en thinking of't! Yet mercy abounds, as does the attractiveness of this carefully trimmed masterwork. But not through any merit of the wearer's, lest our pride break all bounds. The Patchtivist Whether standing in solidarity with the urban poor never looked as chic as this patchy leader of a quiet S5A manifesto of style, this is the true face of the people shooting a documentary on Christian bourgeoisity, Che The Hawg Preacher If blue-collar style gets your motor running, you'll want to head out on the highway for this preacher's mobile sermons. Complete the look with leather chaps embroidered with scripture references, a practical vehicle for evangelism on-the-go. revolution. Viva la Kingdom! This beard loves you, but will never ever llke you. Pair ONLY AND ALWAYS WITH A 6ll AUTHORIZED VERSION OF THE KING JAMES BIBLE. DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK The Hipster Pastor This carefully sculpted mustache curves in a gentle sweep over the lip for an ironic 1890's look. Often complemented by a fiannel shirt, messenger bag, and The S It is rumored that the few preachers tro calculator watch. Look for stains of macchiato foam or crumbs from locally baked scones on this chic style statement. SOwho can grow this masterpiece find that their vocal projection triples. In any case, as old Charles Haddon himself said: "Growing a beard 'is a habit most natural, scriptural, manly, and beneficial."