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Books, Fire, and Music: Summer arrived. Summer made things hot, and both Adam and Ronan smelled more in the summer, though they didn't seem to notice or care Ronan accidentally started a fire in one of the smaller outbuildings, and although this started out shouty it ended up wild and joyful, with both Adam and Ronan hurling things into it while music galloped in the background. Adam's car got off the blocks and almost immediately re turned to them. There were a lot of mice, which Opal enjoyed catchin and occasionally eating. The cloud lady continued bringing books and foods to the bench by the creek and also began to bring a suitcase with tubes that went in her nose, which was interesting and made Opal stick things up her nose for a few days after she first saw it. Adam got one o the Lynch family's old backhoes running again and dug a strategically placed hole out in one of the fields. A natural spring slowly began to it and an unnatural hosepipe finished the job; the boys stripped an leapt into the resulting body of water on the hottest of days. Opal did not want to swim but Adam taught her until she was fearless, and then Ronan threw buoyant objects for her to fetch until he got tired of being on the shore. He had dreamt himself a pair of tattered black wings that did not quite hold him and he used them now like a temporary diving board, letting them lift him half a dozen feet fore dropping him with a muddy splash. Opal floated on her back anod kicked her legs like Adam had shown her to do while the boys clung to each other in the water and then separated. The heat in the air made everything smell and look more like itself. Everything was very good over the water be- Summer had animalness in it, though, just like a human, and so it too eventually had to die maggie-stiefvater: x

maggie-stiefvater: x

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Brains, Complex, and Fucking: fuckingflying I hate linguistic anthropology. Why? One of the most influential experiments in linguistic anthropology involved teaching a chimp asl. One of the most influential linguistics is named Noam Chomsky. You know what the chimp's name was? Nim Chimpsky Fucking monkey purn And this is in textbooks, in documentaries, everywhere. And everyone just IGNORES THIS GOD AWFUL PUN cause of how important the experiment was. But BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. FUCKING NIM CHIMPSKY. I HATE THIS WHOLE FIELD. dendritic-trees Its not just the linguistic anthropologists. There's a group of very important genes that determine if your body develops in the right shape/ organization... they are called the hedgehog genes, because fruit fly geneticists are all ridiculous. The different hedgehog genes are all named after different hedgehogs. And then someone decided to get clever and name one "sonic hedgehog" because this is just what fruitfly geneticists do. Well sonic hedgehog controls brain development, and now actual doctors are stuck in the position of explaining to grieving parents that their child's lethal birth defects or life-threatening tumors are caused by a "sonic hedgehog mutation". And this is why no one will invite the fruit fly people to parties error-404-fuck-not-found Biogeochemical scientists, upon discovering the complex mechanisms that govern the storage and use of molecular iron on our planet, decided to call this cycle "the ferrous wheel" We groaned about that for at least five solid minutes. callmegallifreya The phenomenon of sneezing when exposed to sudden bright light is called an Autosomal-dominant Compelling Helio Opthalmic Outburst. ACHOO Half a byte of data is a nibble. theactualcluegirl An unidentified, repetitive computer error is called a Bug, because the first one of those they discovered to be the fault of a moth fluttering against the vacuum tubes I think we need to admit that academics and engineers are lonely, stressed people whose brains go funny places when deprived of sleep and fed too much coffee instead sonic hedgehog
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Bank, Chicken, and Drive: A customer sent my friend their last chicken nugget through the bank drive-thru tubes

A customer sent my friend their last chicken nugget through the bank drive-thru tubes

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Funny, Bank, and Chicken: A customer sent my friend their last chicken nugget through the bank drive-thru tubes via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2PCSNaT

A customer sent my friend their last chicken nugget through the bank drive-thru tubes via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2PCSNaT

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Another One, Bad, and Bad Boys: Crayola e With Preferred by Teachers ar E CRAYONS 24 homestuckpatternreference: iamthesylveon: f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s: gryphynshadow: silencingthedrums: zeaky: sliceofbri: DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS  AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL. SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE. I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK. There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them. The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi) You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted. Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint. Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color. BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible. Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.) so what you’re saying is i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns and have grey body paint i think i know where that’s going i think we all know where that’s going
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Bored, Life, and Love: updatebug Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship's spending allowance? Like "I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?" "Oh well, if we don't rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth Noted." "I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries." "Ah, yeah, it's not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it" .. that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard." Yeah." "Does such a process not hurt?" That'l be what the medication's for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process." and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?" "Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo'Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?" ..I believe I should speak with my superiors." batzendrick I love how Stabby the Roomba has become such a consistent in-joke among these sorts of blogs tumblunni Galactic hero stabby the roomba: his legend continues brunhiddensmusings you cant tell me that if in fifty years we actually have scpaceship crews and not one of the dorks in space would remember stabby as the best possible joke to bring into space. even if stabby the roomba has been forgotten humans will immediately create some other harmlessly violent robotic equivalent and then be surprised their grandparents joked about the same thing back in 2017 insanity-keeps-things-fun Stabby will outlive us all Source: updatebug 55,580 notes Jun 27th, 2018 I hope life imitates HFY fiction someday

I hope life imitates HFY fiction someday

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Fire, Memes, and New York: Bronx Uber Driver Shot By Passenger Seven Times Over $23 @balleralert Bronx Uber Driver Shot By Passenger Seven Times Over $23 -Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Less than $30 was all a passenger got away with when he decided to fire seven shots into a Bronx Uber driver's car this Saturday. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Early Saturday morning around 12:45 a.m., 26-year-old Jeffrey Cisnero Comacho was picking up street hails when a man waved him down for a ride on Boston Road and Fish Ave. The passenger was being taken to Morrison Ave. near E. 174th St. in Soundview. Once they arrived, the rider took out a gun and shot Comacho seven times, and then fled with his wallet and $23 in cash, said police. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Comacho ended up falling out of his car but was able to get the attention of a passing police car. Paramedics rushed him Jacobi Medical Center and he’s now in stable condition. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “We were at the hospital all morning. He’s got tubes going everywhere. Cops recovered three 9-mm shells and there are a lot of exit and entrance wounds, said Fernando Mateo, the president of the New York State Federation of Taxi Drivers. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The shooter is still at large but thankfully Comacho is expected to live.

Bronx Uber Driver Shot By Passenger Seven Times Over $23 -Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Less than $30 was all a passenger ...

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Arguing, College, and Donald Trump: Joy Reid * @JoyAnnReid Now that l've read the entire transcript of @nytmike's Trump interview, a few observations: 1. Trump speaks a lot like a child does. Lots of focus on who likes him, who loves him who is his friend... his biographers all emphasize his deep desire to be loved & it comes through. 11:13 PM-28 Dec 17 9,632 Retweets 20.8K Likes Joy Reid Ф @JoyAnn Reid-11 h 2. Trump repeats whatever he is fixated on over and over again. I counted 15 "no collusion" repeats, sometimes two or three times in a single paragraph. And he keeps returning over and over again to the election and how he managed to win via the Electoral College. He's fixated. 162 Π1,477 6,139 Joy Reid Ф @JoyAnnReid-11 h 3. Trump things being president means he can do whatever he wants. He has an autocrat's impulse, and believes literally everyone in government, from the attorney general to every member of Congress, essentially works for him, owes him loyalty, and must "come to him for mercy. 147 t 1,737 6,341 Joy Reid @JoyAnnReid 11h He literally adopted a "Godfather" phraseology to all but say Democrats could have avoided blue state tax hikes via SALT if they had "come to him" to plead for his largesse. It's a combination of the impulses of 1. and 3. 42 п1310 5,103 Joy Reid * @JoyAnnReid 4. Trump thinks he is still the star of a TV show, and that the media has the power to decide who wins elections, based on ratings. Seriously: TRUMP: We're going to win another four years for a lot of reasons, most importantly because our country is starting to do well again and we're being respected again. But another reason that I'm going to win another four years is because newspapers, television, all forms of medit will tank if I'm not there because without me, their ratings are going down the tubes. Without me, The New York Times will indeed be not the failing New York Times, but the failed New York Times. So they basically have to let me win. And eventually, probably six months befor the election, they'll be loving me because they're saying, "Please, please don't lose Donald Trump." О.К. 11:20 PM 28 Dec 17 1,607 Retweets 5,528 Likes Joy Reid @JoyAnnReid 5. Trump invents his own reality, and then states that everybody else believes his version of reality too. And since he is so transparent, it's hard to argue that this is a strategy, rather than a form of self-delusion or just stubborn refusal to accept what is real. TRUMP: Yeah. Virtually every Democrat has said there is no collusion. There is no collusion. And even these committees that have been set up. If you look at what's going on - and in fact, what it's done is, it's really angered the base and made the base stronger. My base is stronger than it's ever been. Great congressmen, in particular, some of the congressmen have been unbelievable in pointing out what a witch hunt the whole thing is. So, I think it's been proven that there is no collusion. 11:23 PM-28 Dec 17 1,438 Retweets 5,252 Likes Joy Reid@JoyAnnReid.11h There are literally no Democrats who believe that. None. But he repeats that over and over in the interview. 0988 5,828 Joy Reid Ф @JoyAnnReid-11 h l've never observed anyone who is more precisely like his biographers have described him. And Trump's biographers have, to put it mildly, not been kind. He lives inside his own reality, where he is part beloved autocrat/dictator and part main character in a never-ending TV show. 112 п2,018 7,835 Joy Reid Ф @JoyAnnReid-11 h It is absolutely stunning that this person is president of the United States. bookahplease: passingafternoons: ICYMI: Trump’s latest uncensored, unsupervised interview with a NYTIMES reporter should be required reading for every American.

bookahplease: passingafternoons: ICYMI: Trump’s latest uncensored, unsupervised interview with a NYTIMES reporter should be required readin...

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Amazon, Amazon Prime, and Bad: Docooler Docooler Wireless Rechargeable Smart BT4.0 Professional Haze Dust Resistant Music Bone Conduction Headphone Anti- pollution Sports Mask X2 customer reviews Price: $79.99 $0.99 shipping Note: Not eligible for Amazon Prime. In Stock. Get it as soon as Aug. 10 25 when you choose Standard Shipping at checkout. Ships from and sold by Docooler. Color: Black Roll over image to zoom in $79.99 $79.99 $79.99 People say my voice has changed By S. Bernal on May 9, 2017 Color: Black Pros: Great sound quality Good filter, allows me to breath comfortably no matter how much smoke and dust are flying around Sheer intimidation factor makes air travel interesting Cons: Constantly need to replace gas canisters Hoses knocked out of position too easily, definite weak point Nobody can hear me properly, l've had to start doing ADR so I can be understood I've also taken on a... peculiar way of speaking Bottom line Whether you're assaulting a transport aircraft, brawling in a sewer, blowing up a football stadium, or fighting in a giant melee, this mask will keep your tunes right there with you, and your breathing smooth and nourishing. Warning: try not to get punched in the mask, if the tubes get knocked out you're going to have a bad time. 2 comments 40 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? YesNo Report abuse <p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/163452688183/anti-pollution-smart-mask" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.com/smart-mask/"><b>Anti-Pollution Smart Mask</b></a></p></blockquote>

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Amazon, Amazon Prime, and Bad: Docooler Docooler Wireless Rechargeable Smart BT4.0 Professional Haze Dust Resistant Music Bone Conduction Headphone Anti- pollution Sports Mask X2 customer reviews Price: $79.99 $0.99 shipping Note: Not eligible for Amazon Prime. In Stock. Get it as soon as Aug. 10 25 when you choose Standard Shipping at checkout. Ships from and sold by Docooler. Color: Black Roll over image to zoom in $79.99 $79.99 $79.99 People say my voice has changed By S. Bernal on May 9, 2017 Color: Black Pros: Great sound quality Good filter, allows me to breath comfortably no matter how much smoke and dust are flying around Sheer intimidation factor makes air travel interesting Cons: Constantly need to replace gas canisters Hoses knocked out of position too easily, definite weak point Nobody can hear me properly, l've had to start doing ADR so I can be understood I've also taken on a... peculiar way of speaking Bottom line Whether you're assaulting a transport aircraft, brawling in a sewer, blowing up a football stadium, or fighting in a giant melee, this mask will keep your tunes right there with you, and your breathing smooth and nourishing. Warning: try not to get punched in the mask, if the tubes get knocked out you're going to have a bad time. 2 comments 40 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? YesNo Report abuse <p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/163452688183/anti-pollution-smart-mask" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.com/smart-mask/"><b>Anti-Pollution Smart Mask</b></a></p></blockquote>

novelty-gift-ideas:Anti-Pollution Smart Mask

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