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7-Eleven, A Dream, and Basketball: 221biotchplease: leaveittotegan: lumnie: chemisquid: dippersballoon: I saw an opportunity and I took it This is what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die For those wondering, the song is ”Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO. Perhaps someone beat me to it, but here are ALL of the featured vines, in order of appearance: I won’t hesitate bitch Hi my name is Tre and I have a basketball game tomorrow Whaddup, I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how 2 read Kermit the Frog jumps off building Fr e sh a voca do back at it again at Krispy Kreme There is only one thing worse than a rapist Club Jam (yes a really good book) At least the taco was free I am the Sand Guardian, guardian of the sand Grandma loves ping pong too much If your name is Junior Welcome to Target I’m just cooking pizza Cole Sprouse dress-up game On all levels except physical, I am a Wolf Kid hits ceiling of gym with rope (breaking free) Kid smacked by fly swatter Fuck it up Kenneth (my boy going to school) Um I’m not finished (Tyler the Creator) WE’RE BREAKING FREE SAIL I’m Squidward So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies So no head? (breaking skateboard) Actually, Megan (I can’t sit anywhere) No off topic questions (Chris Christie) What the fuck, Richard Drop it like it’s hot (its just luke) Bored as shiiiiii Liberian accent (plasma globe) New haircut (Parker Kit Hill) Summertime sadness (chicken) More like hurricane TORTILLA I got an a-bor-tion All Around the World (TheJasminator) When there’s a cutie next to you at a red light Snake licks lollipop Accept yourself, love yourself Be whatever you wanna be Don’t touch Zac’s music (LENARR) Whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho Can I please get a waffle? Turn off the flash you fucking moron (Star Wars) Ebony Jenkins (shut up!) Kevin, watch the light dude Horse meditation A girl a dream a clothing hanger Is that a weed? (911 microwave) Helium balloons (floating car) Fireplace fairy I’m your freestyle dance teacher I can’t believe you’ve done this Which way the Quiznos is Impossible paper toss shot Hemtube (dancing with cat) I nurture my skin (Shaq) Why are you running Happy birthday? Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal (courtroom) Farkle falling Fuck you (soda machine) Squash banana (the branch I was holding broke) Take On Me And now my sock is wet (water gun) All I ever wanted was some motherfuckin guala When there’s too much drama at school Two bros chillin in the Hot Tub What’s your name? (ouija board) Chillary Clinton (chillin in Cedar Rapids) Guy drops slurpee (7-Eleven) Girl scared of convertible car Guy who is self-conscious about his lisp (Rice Krispies Treats) Would you like the spider on your hand? Shopping cart crash We actually have the chip reader now I’M A GIRAFFE Dinner with Zayn Malik (Chihuahua eating spaghetti) I HOPE IT’S HELPFUL TO SOMEONE! Peace ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) this gave me such a warm feeling i legit teared up no joke BEAUTY
Money, Old Navy, and Phone: HOW CUSTOMER SERVICE WORKS Excuse me, I said a bit of ice on the bottom. Why is the ice on top? 0h boy! Let me just turn off physics and tell the ice to stop floating! Rude! I want to speak to the manager! Sorry about that! Here, take these $500 giftcards. Please don't give us 1-star on Yelp. YOU'RE FIRED!!! も THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT! EVEN WHEN THEY'RE WRONG) the-last-hair-bender: failedhellos: mysteampunkheart: lam681: winmu: scullylovesqueequeg: tamtoee: yeahmicah: thegirlinthesea: spookydatrump: note-inthepages: Accurate post is accurate. Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone Lame For those in retail. I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza. So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!” I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak. When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger. Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people. That last bit of commentary though. You’d think that but I had once had to explain to a woman that I couldn’t “cut her hair longer.” Some people are actually just stupid.
Christmas, College, and Dumb: Another thing! If you live in a college dorm that has a polcoy against candles being lit in the rooms, and you want to light a menorah for Chanukah, seek out help advocating yourself from your local Chabad, Hillel, or other assorted Jewish organization. They know how to deal with this stuff and will help you work on a compromise with school officials. You have a right to celebrate Chanukah. neoacidic "my religion is more important than other people's safety!!" sorry but do you hear yourself? celebrate, if you must, but don't infringe upon others or think you're above the law (when the law is no unjust.) thinkherenow: surprisedentistry: femme-radicale: surprisedentistry: realsadjewishhours: keshetchai: 5779: keshetchai: 5779: today on Weird Goyische Meltdowns I have literally had my gentile neighbors start two actual real apartment fires in the last MONTH because they can’t keep an eye on their cooking, meanwhile I light candles ALL THE TIME AT HOME and never set ANYTHING ON FIRE BECAUSE I AM RIGHT FRIGGIN THERE. Do you know what I do with Chanukkah candles on?? I turn off my lights and watch them melt and maybe I do something with my hands but I keep an eye!!! On!!! THEM!!!! #… holy shit guys there’s LED lights for a reason #like if it’s that much of a danger just use LEDs for your decor lighting a menorah reeeeally is not “decor”  It’s NOT that much of a danger. I live in an “adult” neighborhood of apartments (i.e. Not with college students) and again, people have caused two fires this month while making breakfast. One fire burned down most of the building next door to mine. regular old adults using a microwave or stove! But when I light my candles for either Shabbat or Chanukkah I am WATCHING them. I have tin foil nearby, I have water nearby, my religious observances (which aren’t fulfilled by an LED light) are not, in my experience, the greatest fire hazard around. You know what is? People making breakfast people not cleaning LINT out of their dryer. Also LED lights do not fulfill the Jewish obligations that candles/oil do. We literally cannnot use LED lights please stop suggesting this. gentiles on this post have been weirdly convinced that they’re the only ones who know about decorative electronic menorahs and that they just need to educate the ignorant jews  What the fuck? If you want to have your candles go live somewhere those are allowed instead of putting others at risk and making everyone around cater for you. today on Weird Goyische Meltdowns The National Fire Protection Association reports “Between 2012-2016, U.S. fire departments responded to an average 170 home fires that started with Christmas trees per year. These fires caused an average of 4 deaths, 15 injuries, and $12 million in direct property damage annually.” but go off on the Jews for doing their thing. Hey everyone Id like to just speak up for my Jewish friends and followers and say y'all should stop being dumb fucks and respect Judaism and the people who observe it!!! You do not know more about thing relating to their religion than they do! You are not entitled to tell them to stop practicing their religion properly when they explain they have been doing it safely! Any fires caused by someones menorah is not at the fault of Jewish people! It is at the fault of that specific person not watching their candles! Same as if you dont watch a stove! Shut the fuck up or Ill punch you!To all my Jewish friends and followers: I apologise for these ignorant fools - light your candles and have a Happy Chanukah!!!