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Confused, Crazy, and Definitely: 11:09 YOU SUPER LIKED ELVIRA ON U Your cleavage game is top notch Today 8:58 AM Thanks Victoria secret's bra do Yeah they really lift and shape them nicely, I'm pretty sure my hands could do better though And I'm pretty sure i don't want your hands anywhere near my Jeez is this a hookup app or a way to talk to my grandma You think everyone one here wants to hook up? I think if you go to a mcdonalds and order a salad, if the salad sucks it's kinda your fault for ordering it I would take you to a much nicer place btw, thats just an analogy I'm sorry my hoe days are over That's okay, J actually happen to have a time anomaly in my bedroom What does that mean? English is not my first language? Don't worry it's not mine either ignore the second interrogation mark What's yours? Spanish Oh como estas? Lol I honestly can't type spanish for shit but I speak it very well What's your first language? It's French My last girlfriend was french I have prior experience And what did you learn from her ? How to spend 20,000 on someone and have nothing to show for it LMFAO Oh Lord I bet she had a nice pair of titties Definitely, that's why I had to swipe right, you're exactly my type Not exactly. I'm not here for I'm sure there's somewhere between hookups and marriage we can settle on @ I think that's called relationship - Ok deal, you're my girlfriend now Today 9:53 AM Definitely not how it works Now I am both confused and hurt I don't know what you want and l have a headache sounds like a girlfriend Today 1:59 PM You're crazy lol Today 7:02 PM A little bit. CanI get your number still? sent Today 822 PM 240 Type a message GIF I have a girlfriend now
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Af, Bitch, and Cheetos: The unfaithful bitch" starter kit LIMEARITA Many mistakes I've made in life...but there's this one mistake that I don't think will top any mistake in my life ever. That mistake was dating a chick with nipple piercings that smokes newports. I met her in a smoke shop right by Walmart. She helped me out with picking a glass piece then we exchanged Snapchats. Talked to her a total of 3 days via Snapchat. Sent each other all types of shit I sent her my extensive meme collections and she listed out the problems she had in her life since her dad left. We bonded those three days. I tell her to slide thru my place. She was shy at first but I knew she was playing games. Told her I had a whole cabinet full of hot cheetos she couldn't resist. She suggested that we smoked first before eating them, which we did. She got High af and made moves on your boy at his most vulnerable stage. I think I got taken advantage of. Well we did the do while tom and jerry played in the back. Skipping to day two she said she wanted to stay a week with me. I was flabbergasted. I do not want the smell of newports and Victoria secrets in my house. But being the bitch i am, I told her me casa tu casa. I step into the bathroom there's tampons, birth control pills (the Walmart brand), and her makeup is in the bathtub I knew I had fucked up. I go to the kitchen and she's waiting for me with some eggs and toast. I fuck with it. I scrape the egg into my toast and her dumbass left the shells in the eggs. I was mad hungry so I swallow it and wash it down with some ice cold chocolate milk. Ay real talk chocolate milk is the best. Oh and 4 days later my dick started to burn so i confronted her about it and never heard from her again. Smh bitch if you reading this rn I just wanna tell you your punnai bomb af and come ruin my life again ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
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Bless Up, Juice, and Memes: go big or go home. he said yes!! @Dr Smashlove Put th on up (a u. MARRY MARR ME 2 U know what Bruh? Shout to u big girls at the gym. Shout to all u pretty ass big girls, I see u. I see u saddling up to the stair master next to me all self conscious. Sweater around the ass and thighs. Whole bunch of perfume on u because u afraid u gon sweat real hard and stink, I see u big girl - don't be shy. Let me inhale your essence...smash is a pervert, I fux with your delicate hormonal musk intermixed with half a bottle of Victoria Secret "Sexy Little Things Noir" - ain't nothing little or noir bout u, u more like a Sexy Voluptuous White Thing but it's all the same to me, my PP colorblind AF ๐Ÿ˜ - now let that sweaty goodness waft into my nostrils, it get my engine going. Big girl I fux with your determination to make a change and get healthy. Society has hammered it into your head that big can't be beautiful but u know yo ass beautiful, u just here to get faster. Stronger. Juice that metabolism. Maybe u got diabetes in your family and u trying to reduce the risk. Regardless - u doing what's best. U taking that step. Lemme spot u while u do a pull up. One pull up hard AF the first time but cop that little door-hanging device for $19.99 and do them daily with a little chair to spot u and bam. Pretty soon u gon be a Cot damn pull up machine keeping pace with me doin 20-25 in a row. U feel me? Progress. I believe in u, big girl. Remember. It's not about being pretty. FUCK who thinks u can't be both big and pretty. This is about being the best u that u can be. Ya get me! More life more health more energy more good sex in 2017 leh go! Bless up ๐Ÿ˜
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