Confidence, Fresh, and Heaven: swi
“New year new me?” NA!
I’m not saying that this year, I said that last year and I regretted it “new year BETTER me” because I already like me, I don't need a new me, it’s taking me long enough to learn to like me to then go and change me now, I think I’ll just try to upgrade me a little.
We all have a hard time and we all strive for more, for our selfs and the people around us and I don't think Ive had it partially harder then anyone else but when I feel like this, slightly proud of my self, I feel its important to share it with people, with out sounding condescending, to inspire people, and not to inspire people to do extraordinary things, to do little things, like being confident, and happy enough to make things better, to move forward, I always had the thought “Be confident, confidence is key, be confident your going to be happy, pretend your happy, its contagious, it'll make the people around you happy which will actually make you happy” and its worked, so heres a little bit of me, this is one of those long wanky posts but have a read, it could make a little sense:
Exactly a year ago today I was thinking the same thing, I do it every year, thinking I hope next year gets better, I’d lost my TV show, been humiliated by the media that where still relentlessly hounding me and my family, 25+ comedians had signed an open letter to out me from the industry, the same comedians that still slag me off to this day, my almost sold out UK tour and brand deals dropped and then I dropped by my management, then to stop the drama (I’d already been trending on twitter getting pure hate for 5 days because the media had told the nation I was pro-rape) I was forced forced to apologise about a stupid comment I made that was blown completely out of proportion, then to top it off, my dad had been diagnosed with cancer, all in the space of a week, so I gave up, quit.
But, true to his form, at the end of the year, my Dad, my best pal, convinced me to carry on, “look for the love through the shit storm of hate” focus on that he said, so I dropped my comeback video of me up in heaven (genius I know) on Christmas day and the drama all kicked off agin, all this from trying to make people laugh, and it was terrifying, but Id committed to it, so looking at the start of the year, on New Years eve last year, I honestly thought thats got to be the worse of it, cant get much harder then this, lets crack on, next year will be better, new year new me “Be confident, confidence is key, be confident your going to be happy, pretend you’re happy, its contagious, it'll make the people around you happy which will actually make you happy” and I was sure it will get easier, but it had to get ten times harder before it did.
The year started off with the passing of my father, he had a stroke, out of the blue, after he beat the cancer, and I truly felt alone, he was my best mate. I was on the brink of going on a rampage of booze and madness, I think I might of for a little while, cant remember lol, and it was a low time, the lowest, lost the house I was in, had to go and stay at my girlfriends parents, a mess, me my bird and my dog, all while still trying to put on a brave face online, still making comedy, while the media wrote articles like “Dapper no longer laughing as shamed comedian loses father”. Was touch and go for a bit there.
Then a miracle happened, my Mrs fell pregnant, she was told she would never have children, something we had accepted, but just days after my father passed she found out we was pregnant, suddenly I had a reason that wasn't ME to crack on. I could stop thinking about my drama, how I feel, I had a reason again to put my head down and work hard, for her, my new baby Neve.
So I did, and I knew the old man was so proud of me and I knew he was still watching so I cracked on hard. Starting fresh and managing myself I went back to basics, having fun with the comedy, on snapchat mostly, I really felt I needed to show people there was more to me then Dapper laughs, so I focussed on developing other characters and brands, like billy bob and squadron leader. Then I got the guts to get back on stage and done some show’s, then I was back!
I’m not very religious, but I spoke to my old man shortly after he passed, once I found out I was going to be a dad, I looked up and asked him to pull some strings for me, give me a bit of luck, I said id promise to be a good person, a good father, not do anything stupid if he could pull some strings for me, give me a bit of luck, and he did, my comedy content improved, I got more mature with it, more confident, Id made some mistakes in the past, I wanted to be better, my Facebook started blowing up, we get 150-200 million views a month on it now, it grows by 25,000 likes a month, got my own range of phone cases, launched a game thats currently trending with over 40,000 downloads, shows in Ibiza, some brand deals back, and a huge dream came true, I got my own film deal, wrote and starred in my own film thats coming out next year, but more importantly baby Neve was born health and my baby momma had a safe labour and I got a nice little family.
So new year better me, “be confident, confidence is key, be confident you going to be happy, pretend your happy, its contagious, it'll make the people around you happy which will actually make you happy”.
My point is just go for it, see the obstacles life throws at you as drive, things to push you forward, because every time something knocks you down you get up stronger, so if you've just had the year from hell it means you can handle anything next year throws at you, you already are a better you!
Happy New Year.