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🔥 | Latest

Confused, Dad, and Facebook: Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a experience. Before the surgery wasn't too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like hey... i think... i died... and now I'm in a parallel universe.. and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe" and he was just kinda like "alright, you do that". And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like. why are there so many of you... there's like 5 many of you" and she was just kinda like "alright, you do that". Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like "how ya feeling son" in the dadliest way possible and I was like "MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I'M STARVED" so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say "I'm good I can do this" and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door.I burst in the door like a viking returning from some battle and holler "WHATS UP to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterlylost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits.I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says "hey are you going to order or what". Keep in mind I'm on the first list here. So I just say "shush man I'm trying to do fruit science", and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said yeah give me a smooth regular" which for the uninitiated, isn't actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the "boosted" smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made "lightning noises". moothie on the So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or someand my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says "how ya feelin?". Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say "there's these.. tiny sheep in my head" which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them) Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn't find the status update bar) that read: just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice" This may be the funniest thing I have ever read There are actual tears coming out of my face More awesome pics at FUNsubstance.com
Dad, Driving, and Food: What is the dumbest thing you've ever done for absolutely no reason?seAskeddit 223 submitted S hours ago by blackwatchdoctor Cl+ 1977 comments source share save hide give gold report crosspost hide all child comments galpalactic this thread has me in tears right now We were driving to a restaurant and wanted to see how long the wait was. My dad handed me the phone book and asked me to look up the number. I, for whatever reason, thought he said "get rid of this". So l opened the window and chucked the phone book while we were going 70 MPH down the highway great I stuck my hand in a bowl of soup simply because I hadn't before same When I was maybe 10-12, I threw one of my dad's golf clubs that had no head on it like a spear down the hallway after telling my brother it would be cool absolutely One time I was eating a lemon poppyseed muffin. The phone rang, so l reacted by shoving the entire muffin my mouth and eating it as fast as I could nearly choking to death, and I didn't even make it to the phone before it stopped ringing huge mood Gave my sister a piggyback when she was giving my other sister a piggyback at the same time thank vou for vour service thenarius -1 haccthaplanet 21.8k points 7 days ago (last edited6 days ago Sometimes I blow on my ice cream before I take a bite. Have no idea why permalink source embed save save-RES report give gold reply hide child comments [+2] 26.6k points 7 days ago @ [-] junkhacker here's what i suspect was going on brain: food, is very temperature! also brain: no worry, learned from soup, know what do permalink source embed save save-RES parent report give gold reply hide child comments 个 Source: galpalactic 27,415 notes