Ways
Ways

Ways

That Way
That Way

That Way

Alwaysed
Alwaysed

Alwaysed

Your
Your

Your

The
The

The

Still Waiting
Still Waiting

Still Waiting

In Bed
In Bed

In Bed

Drop Tops
Drop Tops

Drop Tops

I Want
I Want

I Want

Obamas
Obamas

Obamas

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Being Alone, Beautiful, and Creepy: 17:17 1 13 hrs I often eat alone at a Wendy's that's just down the street from my house. A little less than a week ago, I noticed that they hired a new employee. She's a fair skinned woman who, for the sake of not violating a pending order of protection, we'll say is named Michelle. I was fond of her from the moment I first saw her. I immediately went home and scoured the internet to find out more information about her. I figured this way I'd be able to learn her interests and engage her in conversation regarding them l remember initially thinking to myself that it's a shame how name tags don't include last names. All I had to go on was her first name and location, yet thanks to Facebook's ability to search by city and state, I was able to find her after just a few hours. Once I did l realized I hit a goldmine; her phone number was visible to everyone, not just Facebook friends. Most women are scared to give out their number to a stranger because they don't think they're trustworthy, but if someone asked you out on a date after looking you up and learning your phone number without you having to tell them, you'd likely be far more trusting of that person since they already know your personal info. You'd have nothing to lose. That was my line of thinking, anyway. After obtaining her phone number I figured I'd try to do something romantic that would build up to me asking her out. I decided to use an app that would let me text her without revealing my actual number. The app allowed me to change my number at will O Write a comment... GF) )> 7 17:17 1 3 app allowed me to change my number at will, essentially making it unblockable, which I thought was a good idea since she might think it's just one of her friends messing with her and block it right away. This would grant me the ability to remain a complete enigma to her. "Once a day," I told myself. "Only text her once a day so it isn't creepy." Sadly, I was far too excited at the prospect of having my first girlfriend to stick to that. My first text to her was simply, "l saw that picture of your graduation you posted. You're beautiful." Later that day while I was sitting in the Wendy's parking lot I sent her another text that said, "l can see you right now. One day you'll see me, too." Before I knew it I had texted her over three hundred times in just a few days She never once responded to any of them. Still, not all messages contained text, some were just pictures of her that l took while she was at work to let her know that I was actually there Some of you may have noticed that I wasn't online at all yesterday. There is good reason for that. Yesterday was the day that I met her in person and tried to ask her out. It didn't go as planned. I walked up to Michelle while she was at the counter and told her that I'm her admirer. Her cheerful expression changed as she suddenly started shouting, "This is the guy! Marco, this is the guy!" Marco is her manager. He jumped from behind the counter and grabbed me while instructing her to call the police. I bit his arm hard enough to draw blood, but he did not release me O Write a comment... GF) )> 7 17:17 1 13 hrs while instructing her to call the police. I bit his arm hard enough to draw blood, but he did not release me until police arrivedd The police said that the detainment was lawful, which meant that I was to be charged with battery for biting the manager in addition to stalking. This amounts to almost $500 in fines. Thankfully, father told me he'd take care of it since I'm currently unemployed. The police also told me that she's filing for an order of protection, so l can't return to that specific Wendy's. Father told me to keep my chin up and to remember that some women just aren't worth it. He said that If she thinks having a guy flatter her and think about her all the time is something to call the police over, then she must be "one of those nutty feminists." After spending some time thinking about it, I realized that he's right. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that it's not you, it's them O Write a comment... GIF 7 The creepiest Neckbeard I've seen in a long time, him and his dad blame rejection on feminism

The creepiest Neckbeard I've seen in a long time, him and his dad blame rejection on feminism

Bad, Family, and Phone: 2 When my grandfather was young he owned a roadside motel, and my mother used to do work around the motel for the family. The building was old and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber were a fairly regular occurrence over there At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest checked out, so they called the plumber to come and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the snake I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical powered snake with a big motor on the back and a little grabby claw on the end So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the control to open the mechanical claw at the end of the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in reverse and starts to pull it back up By now a couple of members of the staff have gathered in the room to try and tigure out what the hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant machine couldn't remove. The motor is really straining you know that sound an electric motor makes when it's working really hard? The whole machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back up through the pipes and into the roonm Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's a shower curtain, The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure out how this could have happened. It would be weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be even weirder if the guest had brought their own shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down the toilet, but it's clearly one of their shower curtains. Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that the shower curtain had already been replaced, and then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide the evidence? While they're discussing this, the room phone rings The person on the other end is screaming, hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to figure out that it's the housekeeper who was cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, the manage to get the story out of her: The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than spiraling down into the plumbing where it was intended to go, it had wound its way into the central line, and then back up the pipes in the room next door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and then started flailing wildly around the next-door bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw opened on the end of it and snagged the shower curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it around the room until it was coiled tightly around the cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl The actual clog was never found 10980 Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that