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Bad, Jesus, and Lol: Today jesus you are rough on pants 331 A get angry with them that have to wear them. 700 AM holy hell, there are better ways to deal with that than to mas- sacre them. Most of us just, stay with me here... Take them off poor things did nothing to you. 740 AM The First step is admitting vou have a problem though. so it sounds like you've accepted your role in this and are ready for the next step. 744 AM Absolutely ready for the next step. Just not sure what that is lol 749 AM we've got to get you out of them and to an environment where you can't hurt them anymore. we in the industry call this place, 'South, I've been there, and you wouldn't believe it. there is not a single pant in sight. the good news is Im an expert at finding this mysterious place. I can guide you out of those pants and in to something far less appropriate 756 AM Sounds like an excellent next step 804 AM I think we need to rehearse before we take any drastic steps I'm going to need to see what I'm getting myself into. 811 AM Rehearsal is a must 812 AM Rehearsals start Monday Anytime that works for you. I do make house calls, but it's going to cost you extra 816 AM Oh darn. Not sure I can afford extra and leave a nice tip В19 АМ Don't worry about the tip, we can work something out а21 AN Oh perfect! 822 AM for my records I'm going to need you to fill out these forms. Full name: Proffered Contact: requested Appointment time Location 824 AM reason for visit 824 AM 9:45pm .I've been naughty.. 8:25 AM ille Oh forgot one. 826 AM Ok I've got you booked in for Monday I will be out of the office this weekend but just in case things get bad and you need to talk, ill keep my phone on me. looking forvward to touching bases with you and getting you out of those pants. 834 A Sounds great. Thanks so much for all the help and support 8:35 AM +pes meesnge She had 5 photos with ripped jeans

She had 5 photos with ripped jeans

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Pizza, SpongeBob, and Squidward: SPONGEBOB-DAILY KZZAJ Can we take a second to remember when squidward stood up for spongebob in the pizza delivery episode. A true friend 💙

Can we take a second to remember when squidward stood up for spongebob in the pizza delivery episode. A true friend 💙

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Birthday, Comfortable, and Confidence: reddit-tales What has been your worst "nice guy" experience? So, possibly one of the coolest things I've ever seen. I mean you know how you hear the "women want him, men want to *be* him" stuff in old movies? Well I'm a man and by *god* I wanted to be this guy. Anyway! I'm having dinner with my girlfriend at the time, and behind us are a couple on a not going well. Guy was being I rather inappropriate comments, the girl doesn't look at all comfortable. The girl finishes her appetiser really quickly my guess is she wanted to get it over with. Guy proceeds to comment on it and says "well, least I know you can swallow right?" Loudly Girl goes red and tells him that isn't appropriate, he literally waves his hand in a "shoo" type motion and says "oh calm down I was going to find out in a few hours anyway" I missed her exact re as she moved to a hushed tone, but it was fairly obvious what was being said-fuck no, fuck off, fuck this. He responded with "sweetheart I picked lost the colour in her face and said nothing. No. No. Fuck no. I'm one of those "get involved" type of people and there is no way I'm sitting here watching this go down. I get up. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm 23, fighting fit and happy to put that motherfucker through a wall. I may have had a slight temper in my youth. But anyway. I was halfway out of my chair when a hand came down on my shoulder and I look up to this mid-50s but super fit guy who says "Easy. I've got this one son". Absolute, total confidence in his voice.. so seeing as my current plan amounted to "stab him in the neck" and I'm already thinking maybe that's not the best idea, I sit down. He walks over, grabs a nearby chair, flips it around and sits down with the couple. Then.. he pulls out his police ID and puts it on the table. Now the guy doesn't have any colour in his face Cop: "So, I'm quietly celebrating my daughters birthday with my family when I distinctly hear you threaten this young lady, would you care to explain yourself?" Guy: "I, ah, well, um, you see. Cop: "That's what I thought. Now see, we take a *very* dim view of that kind of thing, so right now I'm deciding if I want to have some of my buddies come pick you up" Guy: "oh no well that..." Cop: "But that would disrupt everyone's dinner, so how about you hand me your ID, me, the dn't want yhe staff here and settle your bill., the full bill now, this young lady shouldn't go hungry on account of your poor behaviour. Or we can go with the first option, I'll leave it up to you. Guy: "No no! That's perfectly fine!" 1*hands over ID, gets up and walks very quickly in the direction of the counter Cop: while writing down the guys details 1* "Sorry about that miss, I hope I'm not intruding it just seemed like you could use some help. Oh and don't worry, if you want to pursue this further I'll have some of the boys pick him up on his way home, we can definitely take this further. Girl: "No, thank you so much, I wanted to run out 30 minutes ago but he drove me here". Cop: *shifts from hardarse cop to comforting father figure in about half a second* "Well I'm here with my daughter, she's about your age, perhaps you'd like to finish your meal with us? We can run you home afterwards if you'd like, unless you'd prefer to call someone else?" Girl: "Oh.. that would be really nice.. thankyou so much! *guy returns, so does the hardarse cop* Guy: "Uh so, I've paid the bill, if I could have back.". my Cop: "There you go. now I have your details right here so I *highly* recommend you don't go near or contact this young lady ever again. Guy: "Yes yes of course, I'm so sorry!" The quy pretty much fled the restaurant, the qirl went and sat with the cop and his family and by the time we left they were still sitting around talking and laughing about random crap. It was hands down the best way I have ever seen anybody handle any situation, ever. That cop is my hero. malicemanaged Dude. I hope that man has a great rest of his life. Wholesome cop via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2SkCLRT
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Chicago, Christmas, and College: rad-roach oak23 Follow 2090 Honey I found a pic of your Grandmother 2016 Honey I found a pic of your Grandmother gallusrostromegalus See I've seen like 600 variations of this meme and I gotta tell you a Story The year is 2012. It's Christmas. It's the first year my sister and I are both home from college, and we're feeling kind of nostalgic, so we take out the old family photo albums to remember everyone from times past. We're all on the couch or the floor with hot chocolate and the Dog is curled up under the tree. It's all very Norman Rockwell. We're going through my Mom's side of the family, laughing at the pictures of Grandma putting wrapping paper on the dog, and grandpa pulling faces at the camera, when we find an old brown envelope. The fuck? says my sister, because she's been in to Great-Aunt Liz's Rumballs and I open the envelope. Inside are four tic kets to the titanic, unused, and Mom tells us the story of how her ancestors ALMOST came over on the Titanic, but Great-Aunt Liz got the measles and forced everyone into quarantine, thus saving their lives. The OTHER thing in the envelope are seven Photographs, dated 1890. They are of my Great-Great Grandmother They are nudes. They are NOT tasteful nudes. Like, these are Violating-Terms-Of-Service-On-Most-Platforms- OBSCENE GGG had these taken waaaaay back in ye olden days, in order to convince her wayward husband to move back to England after he ditched her to party it up in Chicago. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW FUCKING HARD WE LAUGHED. Like, I think I passed out I was laughing so hard. So yes, people have ALWAYS been like this, and your nudes will make for a hilarious family Christmas someday 28,155 notes Pics of Grandmother
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Chicago, Christmas, and College: 2016 Honey I found a pic of your Grandmother 2090 Honey I found a pic of your Grandmother gallusrostromegalus: See I’ve seen like 600 variations of this meme and I gotta tell you a Story. The year is 2012.  It’s Christmas.  It’s the first year my sister and I are both home from college, and we’re feeling kind of nostalgic, so we take out the old family photo albums to remember everyone from times past.  We’re all on the couch or the floor with hot chocolate and the Dog is curled up under the tree.  It’s all very Norman Rockwell. We’re going through my Mom’s side of the family, laughing at the pictures of Grandma putting wrapping paper on the dog, and grandpa pulling faces at the camera, when we find an old brown envelope. “The fuck? says my sister, because she’s been in to Great-Aunt Liz’s Rumballs, and I open the envelope.  Inside are four tickets to the titanic, unused, and Mom tells us the story of how her ancestors ALMOST came over on the Titanic, but Great-Aunt Liz got the measles and forced everyone into quarantine, thus saving their lives. The OTHER thing in the envelope are seven Photographs, dated 1890.  They are of my Great-Great Grandmother. They are nudes. They are NOT tasteful nudes. Like, these are Violating-Terms-Of-Service-On-Most-Platforms- OBSCENE. GGG had these taken waaaaay back in ye olden days, in order to convince her wayward husband to move back to England after he ditched her to party it up in Chicago. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW FUCKING HARD WE LAUGHED.  Like, I think I passed out I was laughing so hard. So yes, people have ALWAYS been like this, and your nudes will make for a hilarious family Christmas someday.
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Beautiful, Child Support, and Children: Rick Howard Right on the money. Ive been divorced 17 years and I get along with my ex wife better now that when we were married. When we,decided the marriage was over, we sat down, made a list of everything we wanted as far as child support, visitation, etc, went to one lawyer to finalize it and the rest is history. We both agreed not to get into pissing matches in front of the kids, and for the most part it has worked well. The kids know both of us are on the same page when it comes to,them. I wouldn't have it any other way. 17,621 February 12 at 4:16pm Like Reply 300 Replies 4 hrs Patrícia Nóbrega Prado One day I was walking on the sidewalk with my stepson. We saw some little yellow flowers and he picked up 2. One for me and one for his mom. He asked me: Can I take this flower to my mom? And I said: Sure honey. We take it home, put it in a book and when it dries, by the end of your vacation with us you can take it home to your mom. She will love it for sure He gave me the most beautiful smile and we kept walking. His mom doesn't like me, in fact, she hates me. She hates me so much that she lies about me, she tries to destroy my marriage and creates problems between me and my in laws. But despite of that, there is not a single word that comes out of my mouth or action that doesn't show to him that I don't respect her has his mom. Children don't have to suffer because of adults issues Like Reply 13,606 February 13 at 3:40am Edited 407 Replies 6 hrs Ellen Brown When parents can't stay married, it's vital they give their kids permission and opportunity to love the other parent. Just because they're done with each other doesn't mean the kids are. Like Reply 7,149 February 12 at 3:33pm 72 Replies Mandey Troutman I have an amazing ex husband! He is absolutely one of my best friends.. We have 4 kids together and have always spent holidays, birthdays and any other special occasions together. I moved out of state a year and a half ago with my fiancee.. He is also amazing! My ex stays with us when he comes to town to visit... People think it's weird. It may not be ideal, but ALL of us luv those 4 kids more than anything and want nothing more then for them to be happy! That's what it's about! And if him staying with us means more time with our kids, then that's what we'll do! 8,036 February 12 at 5:22pm Like Reply 207 Replies memehumor: Divorced dad goes viral with sweet post about why he still treats his ex-wife with kindness.

memehumor: Divorced dad goes viral with sweet post about why he still treats his ex-wife with kindness.

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Bad, Community, and Facebook: СИТ Нлаn william-shakespeare-jr:When we see, or meet someone we feel the need to label, categorize, and stereotype people. It gives people solace. We are so used to labelling others and ourselves, that sometimes we forget who we are. We forget to shed all the layers of labels society has attached to our personas, we don’t realize that we are all human. It’s time we take back our identity, and see people for who they are.There are various negative stereotypes associated with the heavy metal community. Many believe that we are violent, worship Satan or are just plain angry. I can’t think of any other music fanbase with negative stereotypes like these. I acknowledge that the stereotypes associated with metalheads are not as bad as those associated with POC or the LGBT community, however any and all stereotypes are unkind and it is not fair to judge a person’s morals by how they dress or the music the listen to. To all who genuinely believe negative stereotypes about metalheads, I suggest you get to know one. You may be surprised how kind us “angry, violent, satanic” people can be. I am a metalhead. I am not a bad person. I am human #takeitback PC: Mori Peri I’d like to thank everyone who is being so supportive of my participation in this project. I have been receiving a lot of messages on Facebook saying that because I am a straight, white man, that it’s not my place to have taken a part of this project. The director stated that it is supposed to be about stereotypes and being mislabelled, not marginalization. I did not intend to offend anyone.

william-shakespeare-jr:When we see, or meet someone we feel the need to label, categorize, and stereotype people. It gives people solace. We...

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Another One, Bad, and Cats: work theater ab a movie and when sklnny biEches order diet, coke.laive them regular. Wahahahaha chitarra10: 40yodater: fiaspice: carnistprivilege: evilythedwarf: untapdtreasure: willowfae82: minnigem: iopele: obstinate-nocturna: sailornightfury: toboldlygowherethewinchestersare: classykatelyn: housebuiltbyghosts: kimchicutie: acorn-burglar: theforcekeepers: DO NOT DO THIS. This makes me so angry. If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you. My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic. When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die. If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded. Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing. Please signal boost this so people know. This also applies to baristas Fun story about the baristas doing this kind of shit.  I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte. 5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it. Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm. So remember kiddies, if someone is asking for Diet or “Skinny” or “soy” or anything that is not regular, give them what they requested because it may not be them being healthy, but a dietary need that can possibly be life or death also if they ARE trying to be healthy you should give it to them to!! Its not your decision to police or question others food choices!!!  also im lactose intolerant AND ive had stomach infections/ulcers so i feel this.  I have Celiac Disease, so I’m very gluten intolerant. When I go out to eat at restaurants a lot of people just assume that I asked for my food gluten free because of the gluten free diet fad (which is usually a bullshit diet btw).  Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time. But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less). Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal. So PLEASE, if you work at a restaurant or anything with food and someone asks for something a certain way, please listen to them and don’t just disregard someone’s order. It’s not funny and it can have serious consequences. I will reblog this with every single story about someone getting sick because of an asshole giving them the opposite of what they ordered until it sinks in for everyone. Recently on the news a 16 year old boy with a dairy allergy had gone to eat at IHOP with his family. The specifically asked if they could make dairy free pancakes and they said yes. Not too long after he had a reaction and was rushed to the hospital. This kid died because the was dairy in his pancakes that they asked for no dairy. His epi pen that his mother had wasn’t enough to help him. I know working in fast food or any job that’s serves food and beverage sucks but not as much as causing someone to get sick over negligence. My youngest cousin – who is now five, he just started kindergarten – has Celiac’s disease. You would not BELEIVE the amount of times I’ve heard my aunt say she’s ordered something gluten free, only to watch the waiter or waitress’s eyes go huge when she gives it to my cousin – my cousin with the medical id band on his tiny five year old wrist proclaiming I HAVE CELIACS and have to take it back.Shit like this could kill my cousin. Knock it the fuck off. I cannot tolerate caffeine–it makes me have chest pain and a racing pulse, and also gives me horrible body pain, so I always ask for decaf if I order coffee when I’m out, and doublecheck with the waiter/ress when they bring it. but instead of saying “is this decaf like I asked for?” I always say “oh, did I remember to order decaf?” I shouldn’t have to act like I’m the forgetful one (because I know damn well I asked for decaf) but it seems to work better than implying that they screwed up when I take the blame on myself like that. and if there’s any hesitation when they answer, I tell them, “if there’s any doubt, please get another one, or just give me water–if this is regular, it’ll mess up my heart” and lots of times when I say that, they look alarmed and go change it or get another one.  but I shouldn’t HAVE to share my personal medical history with strangers just to get my order right! no one should! how is it their business? it makes me really uncomfortable to have to do that. JUST GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY ORDER! I’ve reblogged this maaaany times before but there’s a few new stories on here so i’m doing it again. cut this shit out don’t be that kind of asshole. As a diabetic, this would make me so beyond angry. Skinny doesn’t mean they don’t have a life threatening illness. Skinny doesn’t mean they can process sugar the way you do. People that do this are the worst kinds of people. DO NOT DO THIS! Me and my family went to a restaurant a few years back and one of the dishes we ordered was made with wine vinegar, which I am allergic to, so we asked the waiter to skip it, and he said sure, no problem, that’s fine.So my food gets to the table, and I start eating and then my throat closes and I can’t breathe and then I start coughing and throwing up right there in the middle of the restaurant and it was very fortunate that I was with my family and they knew what was happening to me. I had to be rushed to the hospital, and admitted, and I came damn near close to having my throat cut open so I could breathe through a whole on my neck. Because they put wine vinegar in my food when I explicitly told them not to, because they were assholes, and I could have died.They probably didn’t mean to hurt me but they did. I missed class, and work, and, again, I COULD HAVE DIED. i have cyclic vomiting syndrome and can’t tolerate dairy or red meat. violating my dietary restrictions triggers an acute episode, and i have to be hospitalized and given iv saline, ativan, and anti-emetics to stop the (extremely painful and incapacitating) vomiting. if somebody put regular milk instead of soy milk in my latte and i didn’t notice the taste immediately, i could wind up in the er and then spend several days in bed recovering, eating nothing but saltines and dry toast and clear liquids until my body was able to tolerate food again, unable to work or go out or do anything besides rest. whenever i go to starbucks, i WATCH them make my drink. cvs episodes are horrible and i hate them, and i can prevent them if i do everything right, but that means my damn barista has to cooperate. if somebody decided i was a stuck up white girl and gave me whole milk instead of soy they could put me in the hospital and cost me days of income. give ppl the food they fuckin order. it’s not that hard. Reblogging because it’s so important. I’m “lucky” I don’t have any food allergies or intolerence, but it makes me mad when people take them not seriously, think you are picky or just following a “white girl diet fad”. 90% of people don’t take my cats and dog allergies seriously when I tell them I’m allergic and wondering if a cat or a dog is present at X place. They think it’s just watery eyes. Nope. Well yeah, watery and itchy eyes, but I start wo wheeze and have trouble breathing. They don’t give epi-pen for those (anyway you have to go to the hospital after) just inhaler. It’s no miracle, specially if I didn’t take other meds before. When people tell you about their allergies or restriction, trust them! Reblogging for all the stories here because this is sooo important!  I have a severe allergy to gluten and relate to MANY of the stories above. My daughter has a severe allergy to milk fat, and I have had to hold her hair many times while she vomits on the side of the road because we couldn’t even make it home from the “accidental” whole milk instead of skim.  Always reblog!!!!
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Animals, Ass, and Beef: Maybe you're lactose intolerant because you're not a fucking baby cow currentgoddess: bean-rat: kawaiipiranha: okay but you thinking it tastes good doesn’t excuse how fucked up the milk industry is or make it okay to support lmao y’all selfish  Ok bitch listen the fuck up I am about to get my cert 2 in agriculture. I just studied for two years about this shit. I live in a dairy town - 70% of my district is dairy. I have lived breathed and worked C O W S for almost 730 days. Sit your uneducated ass down and listen to an expert. Do you have any idea how difficult this industry is to work in cause animal welfare nuts like you have no idea what theyre talking about? We HAVE to treat our animals with care and respect, not just becuase some dumb bint doesnt understand how cows react to being ill, but because its our job. They feed us. They are our jobs. They are living breathing beasts just like us, and they deserve care and respect. So lets break down that video, if youll lend me your attention for another five minutes. Cows are not immediately taken away from their mother. They are allowed to stay with their mother for one day, which is when they recive an important immuno boost froom their mothers milk - which will allow them to survive their first few months of life. Before their mother is too attached to them, they are put in hutches, which keep them safe from cold, cars, and predators, which cows cant fight while producing milk becuase all of their energy is used for all their milk. Calfs are being protected the best way we can protect them. We feed them all the high-cell count milk by the way - which is alot anyway; cos newsflash my veggie-guzzling pals, cows make too much milk for their calf to feed on. Thats why we harvest it. They have a surplus. Growing calves require 5 litres a day, if that. Cows produce 30 litres a day. Thats 25 litres that would be sitting in a cows udder, opening the way for infection (as teat infection comes primarily from teats ducts not closing, becuase theyre still full of milk) and exhaustion, becuase 25 litres of milk is 25 extra kilos hanging between your legs. Not fucking fun. Also, sexual exploitation? Do you not? Realise that the whole purpose of an animals life, accordig to their very own instincts, is reproduction? No other purpose. Literally none. Cows cant become doctors, or teachers or rocket scientists. They cant. All they can do is eat, shit, breathe, moo and eventually die. When we take the excess milk, we also make that rather mundane 20-year lifespan and make it much cushier. They mature at 18 months, by the way. Not 12. Plus, cows actually dont reach maturity and full growth stages until theyve been pregnant once. Their bones dont finish solidifying until theyve had one calf, which opens the birth canal and helps their pelvis accommodate walking.The whole reason you think that this is them being mistreated is becuase you dont understand that they dont get pregnancy issues like we do. They also have nothing else to do in their lives. Cows have emotions and deserve respect, but they are not people, and the same standards one sets for the treatment of people should not be the standard one expects of treatment of a cow. Bulls are huge, and will hurt the cow. Always. We artificially inseminate becuase its faster, safer and more likely to result in confirmed pregnancy. It also reduces the occurrence of birth defects. Cows colons are huge. Theyre three times the size of us. An arm going up there is in no way harmful, and actually helps us identify cow health. I guess maybe the reason you think that thats gross is because fisting hurts humans so much. Refer to my previous “cow standards =/= human standards” statement you kinky pricks. Cows are not emotionally and physically exhausted by milking. Thats it. thats all i have to say on that matter. They are fed, their health is checked on constantly and they are surrouned by a herd or at least a few other cows 24/7. Theyre mentally and emotionally fucking solid, ok? They are usually totally and completely unfazed their entire lives. The only thing that can really stress out a cow is a human worker acting like a dick. Theyre not that emotionally complicated. Okay. Sick cows. Guess what? Cows cant tell us when theyre sick. This comes from the fact that theyre herbivores. Sickness or injury makes them a target for predators. So they shut the fuvk up and try to ignore it. What champs. But seriously, cows make 0 fuss when theyre sick. Those cranes? Downed cows sometimes dont get enough calcium, becuase their body poured its entire reserve into the milk. So they will lie down, not make a sound and wait for death, basically. The longer shes down the harder it is for her to get up, so we have to pump calcium into her from a bag and hold her up so her legs dont a t r o p h y underneath her. Bobby calves, or male calves, are sold for veal. It is the darkest secret in the dairy industry and we are not proud of it. But their throats are not slit. All cows that are killed for beef are shot in the precise spot on their head that will kill them instantly and painlessly. Listen, i dont mind if you want to swear off beef or pork or whatever. Fine. You do you. But ask someone whos actually educated on this subject before you attempt to paint millions of hard working people as animal abusers becuase you dont understand how something works, or use that misinformation to try and make people agree with you.
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Another One, Bad, and Cats: work theater ab a movie and when sklnny biEches order diet, coke.laive them regular. Wahahahaha 40yodater: fiaspice: carnistprivilege: evilythedwarf: untapdtreasure: willowfae82: minnigem: iopele: obstinate-nocturna: sailornightfury: toboldlygowherethewinchestersare: classykatelyn: housebuiltbyghosts: kimchicutie: acorn-burglar: theforcekeepers: DO NOT DO THIS. This makes me so angry. If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you. My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic. When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die. If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded. Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing. Please signal boost this so people know. This also applies to baristas Fun story about the baristas doing this kind of shit.  I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte. 5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it. Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm. So remember kiddies, if someone is asking for Diet or “Skinny” or “soy” or anything that is not regular, give them what they requested because it may not be them being healthy, but a dietary need that can possibly be life or death also if they ARE trying to be healthy you should give it to them to!! Its not your decision to police or question others food choices!!!  also im lactose intolerant AND ive had stomach infections/ulcers so i feel this.  I have Celiac Disease, so I’m very gluten intolerant. When I go out to eat at restaurants a lot of people just assume that I asked for my food gluten free because of the gluten free diet fad (which is usually a bullshit diet btw).  Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time. But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less). Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal. So PLEASE, if you work at a restaurant or anything with food and someone asks for something a certain way, please listen to them and don’t just disregard someone’s order. It’s not funny and it can have serious consequences. I will reblog this with every single story about someone getting sick because of an asshole giving them the opposite of what they ordered until it sinks in for everyone. Recently on the news a 16 year old boy with a dairy allergy had gone to eat at IHOP with his family. The specifically asked if they could make dairy free pancakes and they said yes. Not too long after he had a reaction and was rushed to the hospital. This kid died because the was dairy in his pancakes that they asked for no dairy. His epi pen that his mother had wasn’t enough to help him. I know working in fast food or any job that’s serves food and beverage sucks but not as much as causing someone to get sick over negligence. My youngest cousin – who is now five, he just started kindergarten – has Celiac’s disease. You would not BELEIVE the amount of times I’ve heard my aunt say she’s ordered something gluten free, only to watch the waiter or waitress’s eyes go huge when she gives it to my cousin – my cousin with the medical id band on his tiny five year old wrist proclaiming I HAVE CELIACS and have to take it back.Shit like this could kill my cousin. Knock it the fuck off. I cannot tolerate caffeine–it makes me have chest pain and a racing pulse, and also gives me horrible body pain, so I always ask for decaf if I order coffee when I’m out, and doublecheck with the waiter/ress when they bring it. but instead of saying “is this decaf like I asked for?” I always say “oh, did I remember to order decaf?” I shouldn’t have to act like I’m the forgetful one (because I know damn well I asked for decaf) but it seems to work better than implying that they screwed up when I take the blame on myself like that. and if there’s any hesitation when they answer, I tell them, “if there’s any doubt, please get another one, or just give me water–if this is regular, it’ll mess up my heart” and lots of times when I say that, they look alarmed and go change it or get another one.  but I shouldn’t HAVE to share my personal medical history with strangers just to get my order right! no one should! how is it their business? it makes me really uncomfortable to have to do that. JUST GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY ORDER! I’ve reblogged this maaaany times before but there’s a few new stories on here so i’m doing it again. cut this shit out don’t be that kind of asshole. As a diabetic, this would make me so beyond angry. Skinny doesn’t mean they don’t have a life threatening illness. Skinny doesn’t mean they can process sugar the way you do. People that do this are the worst kinds of people. DO NOT DO THIS! Me and my family went to a restaurant a few years back and one of the dishes we ordered was made with wine vinegar, which I am allergic to, so we asked the waiter to skip it, and he said sure, no problem, that’s fine.So my food gets to the table, and I start eating and then my throat closes and I can’t breathe and then I start coughing and throwing up right there in the middle of the restaurant and it was very fortunate that I was with my family and they knew what was happening to me. I had to be rushed to the hospital, and admitted, and I came damn near close to having my throat cut open so I could breathe through a whole on my neck. Because they put wine vinegar in my food when I explicitly told them not to, because they were assholes, and I could have died.They probably didn’t mean to hurt me but they did. I missed class, and work, and, again, I COULD HAVE DIED. i have cyclic vomiting syndrome and can’t tolerate dairy or red meat. violating my dietary restrictions triggers an acute episode, and i have to be hospitalized and given iv saline, ativan, and anti-emetics to stop the (extremely painful and incapacitating) vomiting. if somebody put regular milk instead of soy milk in my latte and i didn’t notice the taste immediately, i could wind up in the er and then spend several days in bed recovering, eating nothing but saltines and dry toast and clear liquids until my body was able to tolerate food again, unable to work or go out or do anything besides rest. whenever i go to starbucks, i WATCH them make my drink. cvs episodes are horrible and i hate them, and i can prevent them if i do everything right, but that means my damn barista has to cooperate. if somebody decided i was a stuck up white girl and gave me whole milk instead of soy they could put me in the hospital and cost me days of income. give ppl the food they fuckin order. it’s not that hard. Reblogging because it’s so important. I’m “lucky” I don’t have any food allergies or intolerence, but it makes me mad when people take them not seriously, think you are picky or just following a “white girl diet fad”. 90% of people don’t take my cats and dog allergies seriously when I tell them I’m allergic and wondering if a cat or a dog is present at X place. They think it’s just watery eyes. Nope. Well yeah, watery and itchy eyes, but I start wo wheeze and have trouble breathing. They don’t give epi-pen for those (anyway you have to go to the hospital after) just inhaler. It’s no miracle, specially if I didn’t take other meds before. When people tell you about their allergies or restriction, trust them! Reblogging for all the stories here because this is sooo important!  I have a severe allergy to gluten and relate to MANY of the stories above. My daughter has a severe allergy to milk fat, and I have had to hold her hair many times while she vomits on the side of the road because we couldn’t even make it home from the “accidental” whole milk instead of skim. 
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Dick Pics, Dicks, and Family: Dudes with dicks and a passion for photography should know that it is an art form to take a right dick pic. One does not simply take a dick pic without good lighting and romantic environment with professional techniques. But how should we take good dick pics? Thankfully, this girl on Snapchat named Reece laid out a handy guide to ensure that your peen is captured a the best possible angle... Technique 1: the low angle Dick Pic Tip: Roll your eyes back in your head and stick your tongue out, as if to say, "Uugh, all the blood in my body has flowed into my massive flesh rocket. Again! 14 Technique 2 The side profile Dick Plc Tip: All dicks have a good side and a not so good side. Take photos of the different sides and ask friends and family which side show's off your dick's best traits Technique 5 thbe straighte Dick Pic Tip: Put a top hat on your dick or maybe a bowtie. Ya know, something to class up that unwanted dong image you're about to send out into the world Technique 3: the birds eye view Dick Pic Tip: Don't be afraid to really use your camera's zoom to show your dick from below. Christopher Nolan uses this technique superbly... just not for dick photos, but whatevs. 14 Technique 6 the let me grab my sack Dtck Pic Tip: Make sure you really squeeze down on that sack. For a real surprise, pull the camera back and get some taint action in with that sack squeeze. # T : (personal fas) the counter flop Dick Pic Tip: No secret here, just let it flop out and that pants hog of yours will do all the talking This girl on Snapchat hilariously mocked guys who send dick pics… (SFW)
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Books, Head, and Love: Matt Haig Φ * Follow , @matthaig1 Love libraries. They aren't just about books. They are almost the only public space we have left which don't like our wallets more than us. RETWEETS FAVORITES 189 196 queenquong: gingerpermission: standbyyourmantis: edwardspoonhands: myowndeliverance: necclibrary: YES. I once saw someone point out something I hadn’t really considered before- libraries are one of the only places that are warm and dry where you can stay for long periods of time if you have no money. If you’re someone with nowhere to go during the daytime, they provide a safe environment in which to keep a roof over your head for a while- and all while you can access information. So yes. This. It’s weird…libraries almost feel /wrong/ now. It’s like I walk in and think “This is great…where do I put my money?” I used to work on a campus library and if you want someplace to put your money, so to speak, make sure you put books back in the designated areas. I know you think you’re being helpful by reshelving, but even if you pull something out to read a couple paragraphs just stick it in the basket for things you didn’t want. I don’t care if you know EXACTLY where you are. In academic libraries (at least in Texas) our funding was determined by how many books people looked at. So we got additional funding based on books not being reshelved. If there’s a designated shelf/basket for things you don’t want, stick things in it! What @standbyyourmantis said about not reshelving is true for public libraries, too. Our funding is dictated largely by how ‘used’ we are, so we scan all the items that are laying about as In House Use. That, tied with Reference Count and Door Counter numbers (we have to manually put in the time we take for references) to prove we’re providing a needed service.We also have to count the number of people who come for our programs, which not only helps funding but shows that the programming/services are needed, as well.So, basically, if you want to feel like you’re making sure we’re getting paid and staying around, keep these in mind. I didn’t know that’s why you’re not supposed to reshelf!

queenquong: gingerpermission: standbyyourmantis: edwardspoonhands: myowndeliverance: necclibrary: YES. I once saw someone point out s...

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