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sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: this kitten weighs over 5 pounds already and he’s only 14 weeks old. He’s half the size of an adult cat and he hasn’t even lost his baby teeth yet He is now 16 weeks old and over 6 pounds. Kittens are supposed to be half their adult weight at 5-6 months, and he is barely 4 months old. What the fuck. Now at 22 weeks, 5 months old, half his adult weight, this baby is 10 pounds,,, 30 WEEKS. 7 MONTHS. 14 POUNDS. THAT IS TWICE THE AVERAGE WEIGHT OF A CAT HIS AGE. THE GIRLS IN HIS LITTER ARE ONLY LIKE 8 POUNDS WHY IS HE SO HUGE Hello it is Time for Another Update!!! It is June 18th, 2018. Half-n-Half is now 10 months old. Last I weighed him (like 2 weeks ago?) he was over 15 pounds, but he’s not gaining weight as rapidly anymore. Regardless, he’s still Big GUESS WHO’S ONE AND A HALF AND WEIGHS 17 POUNDS THIS FUCKIN MAGNIFICENT GUY!!!!!!!! HALF-N-HALF!!!!!!! : sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: this kitten weighs over 5 pounds already and he’s only 14 weeks old. He’s half the size of an adult cat and he hasn’t even lost his baby teeth yet He is now 16 weeks old and over 6 pounds. Kittens are supposed to be half their adult weight at 5-6 months, and he is barely 4 months old. What the fuck. Now at 22 weeks, 5 months old, half his adult weight, this baby is 10 pounds,,, 30 WEEKS. 7 MONTHS. 14 POUNDS. THAT IS TWICE THE AVERAGE WEIGHT OF A CAT HIS AGE. THE GIRLS IN HIS LITTER ARE ONLY LIKE 8 POUNDS WHY IS HE SO HUGE Hello it is Time for Another Update!!! It is June 18th, 2018. Half-n-Half is now 10 months old. Last I weighed him (like 2 weeks ago?) he was over 15 pounds, but he’s not gaining weight as rapidly anymore. Regardless, he’s still Big GUESS WHO’S ONE AND A HALF AND WEIGHS 17 POUNDS THIS FUCKIN MAGNIFICENT GUY!!!!!!!! HALF-N-HALF!!!!!!!
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sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: this kitten weighs over 5 pounds already and he’s only 14 weeks old. He’s half the size of an adult cat and he hasn’t even lost his baby teeth yet He is now 16 weeks old and over 6 pounds. Kittens are supposed to be half their adult weight at 5-6 months, and he is barely 4 months old. What the fuck. Now at 22 weeks, 5 months old, half his adult weight, this baby is 10 pounds,,, 30 WEEKS. 7 MONTHS. 14 POUNDS. THAT IS TWICE THE AVERAGE WEIGHT OF A CAT HIS AGE. THE GIRLS IN HIS LITTER ARE ONLY LIKE 8 POUNDS WHY IS HE SO HUGE Hello it is Time for Another Update!!! It is June 18th, 2018. Half-n-Half is now 10 months old. Last I weighed him (like 2 weeks ago?) he was over 15 pounds, but he’s not gaining weight as rapidly anymore. Regardless, he’s still Big GUESS WHO’S ONE AND A HALF AND WEIGHS 17 POUNDS THIS FUCKIN MAGNIFICENT GUY!!!!!!!! HALF-N-HALF!!!!!!! : sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: this kitten weighs over 5 pounds already and he’s only 14 weeks old. He’s half the size of an adult cat and he hasn’t even lost his baby teeth yet He is now 16 weeks old and over 6 pounds. Kittens are supposed to be half their adult weight at 5-6 months, and he is barely 4 months old. What the fuck. Now at 22 weeks, 5 months old, half his adult weight, this baby is 10 pounds,,, 30 WEEKS. 7 MONTHS. 14 POUNDS. THAT IS TWICE THE AVERAGE WEIGHT OF A CAT HIS AGE. THE GIRLS IN HIS LITTER ARE ONLY LIKE 8 POUNDS WHY IS HE SO HUGE Hello it is Time for Another Update!!! It is June 18th, 2018. Half-n-Half is now 10 months old. Last I weighed him (like 2 weeks ago?) he was over 15 pounds, but he’s not gaining weight as rapidly anymore. Regardless, he’s still Big GUESS WHO’S ONE AND A HALF AND WEIGHS 17 POUNDS THIS FUCKIN MAGNIFICENT GUY!!!!!!!! HALF-N-HALF!!!!!!!
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sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: this kitten weighs over 5 pounds already and he’s only 14 weeks old. He’s half the size of an adult cat and he hasn’t even lost his baby teeth yet He is now 16 weeks old and over 6 pounds. Kittens are supposed to be half their adult weight at 5-6 months, and he is barely 4 months old. What the fuck. Now at 22 weeks, 5 months old, half his adult weight, this baby is 10 pounds,,, 30 WEEKS. 7 MONTHS. 14 POUNDS. THAT IS TWICE THE AVERAGE WEIGHT OF A CAT HIS AGE. THE GIRLS IN HIS LITTER ARE ONLY LIKE 8 POUNDS WHY IS HE SO HUGE Hello it is Time for Another Update!!! It is June 18th, 2018. Half-n-Half is now 10 months old. Last I weighed him (like 2 weeks ago?) he was over 15 pounds, but he’s not gaining weight as rapidly anymore. Regardless, he’s still Big GUESS WHO’S ONE AND A HALF AND WEIGHS 17 POUNDS THIS FUCKIN MAGNIFICENT GUY!!!!!!!! HALF-N-HALF!!!!!!! : sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: sabertoothwalrus: this kitten weighs over 5 pounds already and he’s only 14 weeks old. He’s half the size of an adult cat and he hasn’t even lost his baby teeth yet He is now 16 weeks old and over 6 pounds. Kittens are supposed to be half their adult weight at 5-6 months, and he is barely 4 months old. What the fuck. Now at 22 weeks, 5 months old, half his adult weight, this baby is 10 pounds,,, 30 WEEKS. 7 MONTHS. 14 POUNDS. THAT IS TWICE THE AVERAGE WEIGHT OF A CAT HIS AGE. THE GIRLS IN HIS LITTER ARE ONLY LIKE 8 POUNDS WHY IS HE SO HUGE Hello it is Time for Another Update!!! It is June 18th, 2018. Half-n-Half is now 10 months old. Last I weighed him (like 2 weeks ago?) he was over 15 pounds, but he’s not gaining weight as rapidly anymore. Regardless, he’s still Big GUESS WHO’S ONE AND A HALF AND WEIGHS 17 POUNDS THIS FUCKIN MAGNIFICENT GUY!!!!!!!! HALF-N-HALF!!!!!!!
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palaeofail-explained: palaeofail: From a 2013 textbook. This would be forgivable if it was from 1973. But it’s not. First of all, its tail wouldn’t have dragged on the ground. You just can’t articulate the bones like that. The hands should be columnar and shaped sort of like a kidney bean in cross section. The head is too large compared to body size. The tail should be long and whiplike. And of course, sauropods were, as a whole, very built for land. That’s not to say that sauropods never went into swamps, or that the idea of some sauropods being adapted to life in swamps is utterly impossible, but all sauropods we know of have columnar, weight-bearing legs and fairly small, unspread hands and feet that would be unsuited to walking in squishy terrain. : Apatosaurus: This dinosaur belongs to a group known as the sauropods (sor' uh pods) These were probably the largest of the dinosaurs. Their bodies were more than 60 feet long, and they could have weighed more than 30 tons. Biologists think that these dinosaurs were swamp- dwelling herbivores palaeofail-explained: palaeofail: From a 2013 textbook. This would be forgivable if it was from 1973. But it’s not. First of all, its tail wouldn’t have dragged on the ground. You just can’t articulate the bones like that. The hands should be columnar and shaped sort of like a kidney bean in cross section. The head is too large compared to body size. The tail should be long and whiplike. And of course, sauropods were, as a whole, very built for land. That’s not to say that sauropods never went into swamps, or that the idea of some sauropods being adapted to life in swamps is utterly impossible, but all sauropods we know of have columnar, weight-bearing legs and fairly small, unspread hands and feet that would be unsuited to walking in squishy terrain.

palaeofail-explained: palaeofail: From a 2013 textbook. This would be forgivable if it was from 1973. But it’s not. First of all, its...

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kkhendin: voroxpete: arctic-hands: therobotmonster: kuroba101: prismatic-bell: HERE’S THE THING THOUGH I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.” So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is “No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.” I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear: “Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.” I accidentally called the director of the FBI. My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon. This is my new favourite story. When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified. There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.  The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.  During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.” So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.  I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing. So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by… “Uh… Is Shantavia there?” It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States. There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink. The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.  Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before. But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started. Seriously, this is legit. In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline.  Here’s the ad they posted. Only problem is, they misprinted the number.  And the number they printed?  It went straight through to fucking NORAD.  This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay.  NORAD was the front line. And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD.  Oh no no no. Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says. “This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says. The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ” His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying. “And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.” “It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says. And then, it got better. “The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says. “And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says. “Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says. For real. “And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.” “Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.” So yeah.  I think that might be the best wrong number of all time. Source:  http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport It got better. : awkward. @howtobeprada imagine if you called the wrong number and "mom?" "no this is Morgan freeman" Reply Retweet Favorite kkhendin: voroxpete: arctic-hands: therobotmonster: kuroba101: prismatic-bell: HERE’S THE THING THOUGH I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.” So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is “No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.” I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear: “Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.” I accidentally called the director of the FBI. My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon. This is my new favourite story. When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified. There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.  The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.  During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.” So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.  I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing. So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by… “Uh… Is Shantavia there?” It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States. There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink. The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.  Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before. But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started. Seriously, this is legit. In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline.  Here’s the ad they posted. Only problem is, they misprinted the number.  And the number they printed?  It went straight through to fucking NORAD.  This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay.  NORAD was the front line. And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD.  Oh no no no. Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says. “This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says. The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ” His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying. “And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.” “It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says. And then, it got better. “The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says. “And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says. “Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says. For real. “And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.” “Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.” So yeah.  I think that might be the best wrong number of all time. Source:  http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport It got better.
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fun-n-fashion: arctic-hands: therobotmonster: kuroba101: prismatic-bell: HERE’S THE THING THOUGH I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.” So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is “No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.” I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear: “Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.” I accidentally called the director of the FBI. My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon. This is my new favourite story. When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified. There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.  The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.  During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.” So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.  I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing. So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by… “Uh… Is Shantavia there?” It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States. There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink. The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.  Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before. This is how the whole Santa Tracker thing got started with NATO.  Also reminds me of a story.  A dude I once knew has a fancy job in computer security that has him travelling all over the world and one of my favorite stories is how this company (I was not allowed to know the name due to confidentiality clauses but I was assured it was one with strong ties to national security) had a problem where every day their servers would go down at the same time for 15 mins straight and no one could figure out why because everything checked out and it was literally supposed to be impossible for the servers to go down and so they hired him to come have a look at their servers and figure out if they were being hacked or what because according to security logs no one had been in there that shouldn’t be. The security around the server room was ridiculous. Like, he couldn’t even go in the room without the head of security and one of the vice presidents of the company in there with him.  He had to pretty much force them to let him put a small camera, encrypted data  streaming to his laptop,  in the server room overnight and then he wasn’t allowed to leave with his laptop. So he goes in and reviews the footage the next day and at the exact time stamp he has for the footage going down he sees…. The cleaning person unplugging the servers so that they can plug in their vacuum. Fifteen minutes later the vacuuming is done and the servers are up and running again.  : awkward. @howtobeprada imagine if you called the wrong number and "mom?" "no this is Morgan freeman" Reply Retweet Favorite fun-n-fashion: arctic-hands: therobotmonster: kuroba101: prismatic-bell: HERE’S THE THING THOUGH I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.” So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is “No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.” I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear: “Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.” I accidentally called the director of the FBI. My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon. This is my new favourite story. When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified. There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.  The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.  During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.” So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.  I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing. So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by… “Uh… Is Shantavia there?” It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States. There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink. The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.  Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before. This is how the whole Santa Tracker thing got started with NATO.  Also reminds me of a story.  A dude I once knew has a fancy job in computer security that has him travelling all over the world and one of my favorite stories is how this company (I was not allowed to know the name due to confidentiality clauses but I was assured it was one with strong ties to national security) had a problem where every day their servers would go down at the same time for 15 mins straight and no one could figure out why because everything checked out and it was literally supposed to be impossible for the servers to go down and so they hired him to come have a look at their servers and figure out if they were being hacked or what because according to security logs no one had been in there that shouldn’t be. The security around the server room was ridiculous. Like, he couldn’t even go in the room without the head of security and one of the vice presidents of the company in there with him.  He had to pretty much force them to let him put a small camera, encrypted data  streaming to his laptop,  in the server room overnight and then he wasn’t allowed to leave with his laptop. So he goes in and reviews the footage the next day and at the exact time stamp he has for the footage going down he sees…. The cleaning person unplugging the servers so that they can plug in their vacuum. Fifteen minutes later the vacuuming is done and the servers are up and running again. 

fun-n-fashion: arctic-hands: therobotmonster: kuroba101: prismatic-bell: HERE’S THE THING THOUGH I used to work for a call center an...

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buzzfeed: laughterkey: wonderali: alltangledupinblue: teaandcathair: brofisting: astolat: badscienceshenanigans: 0hcicero: beautifulchaos-anumcara: buzzfeed: adulthoodisokay: adulthoodisokay: aimee-b-loved: bijoux-et-mineraux: reclusiveandelusive: tsreckoah: naughtylittledragon: nassadii: tsreckoah: thepioden: vulcanology-geology: mollisaurus: lizaleigh: zdravomilla: brambledboneyards: xekstrin: bijoux-et-mineraux: Polished Malachite Stalactite - Copper Crescent, Congo *looks around* Is Is anyone gonna say it malachite is a poisonous mineral. please do not fuck the malachite stalactite @lizaleigh do you know any rock people that can confirm/deny because I am very curious and really don’t feel like getting into a conversation with my geophysicist brother that MAY somehow get back to the fact I saw a malachite that looked like a weird dildo. …sadly, I am not on good enough terms with any of our partner geologists to just attach this to an email with the subject line: “EXPLAIN.”Although I think @mollisaurus is a mineral person. Thoughts? oh geeze, i’m kinda rusty on minerals but malachite is just copper carbonate and is really common in both antique and modern jewelry so i think like if you were really gun-ho about it you could go ahead and put it wherever you want? It’s really only a problem if you’re polishing or cutting it. The particles would be bad to breathe. It’s rather porous too, so I would worry about bacteria growing. Well, being literal anyway… Better to leave the poor thing alone. ._. I mean it kinda depends on where you stick it because malachite does not like acidic environments very much and the malachite will degrade and also might dye your bits blue-green as the copper dissolves out. So use a condom when fucking rocks is the takeaway here. Oh my god guys it’s poisonous It is super poisonous There is a reason we do not use it in make up any more Not even with a condom, do not fuck the rock Try this one instead.  malachite literally explodes in water does it not? I… no… I think you’re thinking of pure sodium? Malachite is however water soluble, which really just means it will poison you quicker This is both hilarious and cool as fuck because you’re getting all this information on minerals and rocks. You’re also watching people argue over wether or not you can fuck this rock I go on hiatus for a week and come back to find tumblr molesting my post, but hey, at least we all learned something so yay tumblr, you just keep on  being you. I’m still not sure if I can fuck this rock. I’m looking into it. UPDATE: Today in “I’m so sorry, coworkers, it’s for Tumblr,” I brought this post to the attention the science reporters at BuzzFeed. Dan Vergano did a some research and weighed in on the question “Can you use malachite as a dildo or is it toxic?” The answer is “It’s probably fine, just wash it first and maybe use a bunch of lube.” Oh man this got so much better than the last time I saw this post This is my favourite. Science side of tumblr: asking the REAL questions *biologist crashes through the underbrush*Ok so here’s the thing thoughMalachite is not poisonous to YOU. BUT fucking this stalactite will probably wreck your vaginal flora and leave you with a gruesome infection within a couple days.Want details? SO GLAD YOU ASKED, ‘CAUSE HERE THEY ARE.• Malachite is not copper oxide. It’s Cu2CO3(OH)2. Like most carbonates it’s water soluble– that’s how it became a stalactite in the first place! And technically any given chunk of “malachite” isn’t just malachite– it’s a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. This will become important later. • When malachite dissolves it makes a bunch of copper (Cu++) ions. Cu++ is GREAT at killing bacteria and fungi– so good at it that sprays with Cu++ get used a lot as a spray in agriculture to stop plant disease. It takes such a large dose to harm larger organisms that copper sprays are used a lot in organic agriculture (like Bordeaux mixture). So bottom line, yes malachite is technically nontoxic to humans. But it kills bacteria when it dissolves and releases Cu++.• Malachite dissolves somewhat slowly in water– but vaginal secretions aren’t just any water. A healthy human vagina has a pH of 3.8-4.5 and a salinity of about 0.9%. It’s also warmer than your average underground cave at 37°C (or 98.5°F in American meat units). As luck would have it, acidity, salinity, and warmth all make malachite dissolve faster. • In other words, the human vagina dissolves malachite. • I have no deeper explanation for why human females can dissolve rocks with our genitals. It simply is. • Gonna to take a quick moment to point out that sex toys that dissolve when you use them are maybe not the best investment. • Anyway the key question now is “how fast does the human vagina dissolve malachite?” Are we talking geological timescale, a Nazis-in-Indiana-Jones situation, or something in between? If the reaction kinetics of dissolution are very slow, then there’s nothing to worry about. An encounter with a stalactite would have to last years for enough Cu++ to leach out to cause problems. If it’s quick then we’re in trouble. • Unfortunately it looks like nobody really knows. One of the best sources on how malachite dissolves & precipitates in water– an EPA document on how to avoid too much Cu++ in municipal drinking water systems– helpfully says “The kinetic constraints on the formation of these solids in water systems are largely unexplored” (p. 42) because end equilibrium points is all you need to run a city water system safely. In other words, the experiments that would tell us how fast malachite dissolves in various types of water just don’t exist because nobody’s ever needed to know before. So we’d better assume it’s going to happen reasonably quickly, #for safety.• So in best scientific fashion, we’re just going to bullshit our way ahead using what facts we DO have on hand: endpoint equlibria. • Is there any info out there telling us what equilibrium concentration of Cu++ we get in salty acidic water at body temperature? Almost! One J.F. Scaife published some great data on this back in 1957. TAKE IT AWAY, SCAIFE.  That orange box is how many moles of dissolved Cu++ Scaife got from sticking malachite in some water that had 0.171 moles NaCl/L (body salinity is about 0.154 moles NaCl/L so this is slightly less salty than people) at 30°C. He’s got no acidity in there, and again the salinity and temperature are slightly lower than people. But this is probably the closest we’re going to get to data on how malachite behaves in vaginas anytime soon, folks. From this we can take away that if you leave malachite alone in a vagina you’ll get AT LEAST 9.12 x 10^-4 moles/L, or 5.8 ppm, of Cu++ at equilibrium. • Recall from above that most “malachite” isn’t actually pure malachite, it’s a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. The EPA document elaborates: “[T]raditional ‘eyeball’ identification of malachite by its blue-green color is extremely unreliable, because almost all cupric hydroxysulfates, hydroxycarbonates, hydroxychlorides, and even fresh cupric hydroxide can be some shade of blue-green. … Thus, the uncertainty in the computed copper concentration in equilibrium with malachite is at least about a factor of 2 … until further experimental data focusing on this problem is generated.” In other words, “do your math and then double how much Cu++ you think is going to be in the water, just in case.” So that gives us 11.6ppm Cu++, at equilibrium, with malachite in a (til now!) healthy vagina. • Next step: do we have any idea what happens to bacteria in acid conditions with copper? OH MY GOD WE TOTALLY DO. Gyawali et al 2011 checked this out in the context of “so what if we rinsed tomatoes with a solution of lactic acid and copper, because that would be a safe & organic way to get rid of E. coli?” So now this post has officially ruined stalactites, vaginas, and tomatoes. ^This would happen. These are the counts of 4 E. coli strains exposed to various levels of lactic acid & Cu++ for 8 hours. This table only shows the end counts but it represents the death of 99.7% of bacteria*. • Losing 99.7% of your vaginal flora is seriously bad news. You’re looking at really good odds of a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, and/or other infection issues. And that’s if you’re lucky enough to not be in the 4% of the population or so that’s sensitive to skin contact with copper. • The good news? Biochemically speaking, you’re probably ok to put it in your butt. It’s not as acidic or salty in there, plus there’s a huuuuuge stockpile of gut microbes right upstream that can quickly repopulate the colon after spelunking is complete. However this stalactite is not flared at the base so it is the wrong shape for putting in your butt. Do not put this stalactite in your butt. • This all looks like fun and games, but I think it’s really interesting that the internet’s mistake in concluding that this stalactite is fuckable is very similar to the mistake made by the Flint water management system. Hear me out. • Central to the Flint lead poisoning crisis is that authorities only looked at & tested Flint’s water in its central treatment plant before it went out through the pipes. Not after it went through the pipes. They did not consider what would happen biochemically as it went through the pipes and metals started dissolving. • Similarly, in concluding that the stalactite is fuckable, the internet only considered the stalactite itself. Not the biochemical processes that would happen to it as it, welp, went through the pipes. • Media frequently reports that the Flint River’s water is “corrosive,” leading many to believe the river is full of industrial waste. This ain’t the case. You’d need industry to fill a river with industrial waste, and industry left decades ago. That’s why Flint’s so poor. So what IS in the water? Road salt. Plain old stupid road salt. The old Detroit-based source didn’t have salt because it came from Lake Huron which has a large, mostly rural watershed. Meanwhile the Flint River runs through a lot of towns, making it slightly salty as everything melts down in spring. And as we recall from the stalactite experience, a little salt is all it takes to get metals to dissolve. • Information on this engineering problem was not coming through clearly from the engineering or chemistry sides. It took a biologist, pediatrician Mona Hanna-Attisha, to document the real-time results and provide the data to kick-start a high-level investigation. • Morals of the story: when dealing with a biological system pls consider asking a biologist, your vagina and/or city could depend on this• Pls use a condom when fucking any water-soluble material• Still don’t put the stalactite in your butt -3/10 do not recommend OK, I haven’t reblogged this before now but the final post takes it to a whole new level and I can no longer resist.  fine, this is the Best Tumblr Post What a wild fucking ride. I LOVE YOU SCIENCE TUMBLR IT GOT BETTER!!!! Ahem. @buzzfeed things have gotten (even) more interesting on the malachite fucking front. tumblr is an incredible social networking website : buzzfeed: laughterkey: wonderali: alltangledupinblue: teaandcathair: brofisting: astolat: badscienceshenanigans: 0hcicero: beautifulchaos-anumcara: buzzfeed: adulthoodisokay: adulthoodisokay: aimee-b-loved: bijoux-et-mineraux: reclusiveandelusive: tsreckoah: naughtylittledragon: nassadii: tsreckoah: thepioden: vulcanology-geology: mollisaurus: lizaleigh: zdravomilla: brambledboneyards: xekstrin: bijoux-et-mineraux: Polished Malachite Stalactite - Copper Crescent, Congo *looks around* Is Is anyone gonna say it malachite is a poisonous mineral. please do not fuck the malachite stalactite @lizaleigh do you know any rock people that can confirm/deny because I am very curious and really don’t feel like getting into a conversation with my geophysicist brother that MAY somehow get back to the fact I saw a malachite that looked like a weird dildo. …sadly, I am not on good enough terms with any of our partner geologists to just attach this to an email with the subject line: “EXPLAIN.”Although I think @mollisaurus is a mineral person. Thoughts? oh geeze, i’m kinda rusty on minerals but malachite is just copper carbonate and is really common in both antique and modern jewelry so i think like if you were really gun-ho about it you could go ahead and put it wherever you want? It’s really only a problem if you’re polishing or cutting it. The particles would be bad to breathe. It’s rather porous too, so I would worry about bacteria growing. Well, being literal anyway… Better to leave the poor thing alone. ._. I mean it kinda depends on where you stick it because malachite does not like acidic environments very much and the malachite will degrade and also might dye your bits blue-green as the copper dissolves out. So use a condom when fucking rocks is the takeaway here. Oh my god guys it’s poisonous It is super poisonous There is a reason we do not use it in make up any more Not even with a condom, do not fuck the rock Try this one instead.  malachite literally explodes in water does it not? I… no… I think you’re thinking of pure sodium? Malachite is however water soluble, which really just means it will poison you quicker This is both hilarious and cool as fuck because you’re getting all this information on minerals and rocks. You’re also watching people argue over wether or not you can fuck this rock I go on hiatus for a week and come back to find tumblr molesting my post, but hey, at least we all learned something so yay tumblr, you just keep on  being you. I’m still not sure if I can fuck this rock. I’m looking into it. UPDATE: Today in “I’m so sorry, coworkers, it’s for Tumblr,” I brought this post to the attention the science reporters at BuzzFeed. Dan Vergano did a some research and weighed in on the question “Can you use malachite as a dildo or is it toxic?” The answer is “It’s probably fine, just wash it first and maybe use a bunch of lube.” Oh man this got so much better than the last time I saw this post This is my favourite. Science side of tumblr: asking the REAL questions *biologist crashes through the underbrush*Ok so here’s the thing thoughMalachite is not poisonous to YOU. BUT fucking this stalactite will probably wreck your vaginal flora and leave you with a gruesome infection within a couple days.Want details? SO GLAD YOU ASKED, ‘CAUSE HERE THEY ARE.• Malachite is not copper oxide. It’s Cu2CO3(OH)2. Like most carbonates it’s water soluble– that’s how it became a stalactite in the first place! And technically any given chunk of “malachite” isn’t just malachite– it’s a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. This will become important later. • When malachite dissolves it makes a bunch of copper (Cu++) ions. Cu++ is GREAT at killing bacteria and fungi– so good at it that sprays with Cu++ get used a lot as a spray in agriculture to stop plant disease. It takes such a large dose to harm larger organisms that copper sprays are used a lot in organic agriculture (like Bordeaux mixture). So bottom line, yes malachite is technically nontoxic to humans. But it kills bacteria when it dissolves and releases Cu++.• Malachite dissolves somewhat slowly in water– but vaginal secretions aren’t just any water. A healthy human vagina has a pH of 3.8-4.5 and a salinity of about 0.9%. It’s also warmer than your average underground cave at 37°C (or 98.5°F in American meat units). As luck would have it, acidity, salinity, and warmth all make malachite dissolve faster. • In other words, the human vagina dissolves malachite. • I have no deeper explanation for why human females can dissolve rocks with our genitals. It simply is. • Gonna to take a quick moment to point out that sex toys that dissolve when you use them are maybe not the best investment. • Anyway the key question now is “how fast does the human vagina dissolve malachite?” Are we talking geological timescale, a Nazis-in-Indiana-Jones situation, or something in between? If the reaction kinetics of dissolution are very slow, then there’s nothing to worry about. An encounter with a stalactite would have to last years for enough Cu++ to leach out to cause problems. If it’s quick then we’re in trouble. • Unfortunately it looks like nobody really knows. One of the best sources on how malachite dissolves & precipitates in water– an EPA document on how to avoid too much Cu++ in municipal drinking water systems– helpfully says “The kinetic constraints on the formation of these solids in water systems are largely unexplored” (p. 42) because end equilibrium points is all you need to run a city water system safely. In other words, the experiments that would tell us how fast malachite dissolves in various types of water just don’t exist because nobody’s ever needed to know before. So we’d better assume it’s going to happen reasonably quickly, #for safety.• So in best scientific fashion, we’re just going to bullshit our way ahead using what facts we DO have on hand: endpoint equlibria. • Is there any info out there telling us what equilibrium concentration of Cu++ we get in salty acidic water at body temperature? Almost! One J.F. Scaife published some great data on this back in 1957. TAKE IT AWAY, SCAIFE.  That orange box is how many moles of dissolved Cu++ Scaife got from sticking malachite in some water that had 0.171 moles NaCl/L (body salinity is about 0.154 moles NaCl/L so this is slightly less salty than people) at 30°C. He’s got no acidity in there, and again the salinity and temperature are slightly lower than people. But this is probably the closest we’re going to get to data on how malachite behaves in vaginas anytime soon, folks. From this we can take away that if you leave malachite alone in a vagina you’ll get AT LEAST 9.12 x 10^-4 moles/L, or 5.8 ppm, of Cu++ at equilibrium. • Recall from above that most “malachite” isn’t actually pure malachite, it’s a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. The EPA document elaborates: “[T]raditional ‘eyeball’ identification of malachite by its blue-green color is extremely unreliable, because almost all cupric hydroxysulfates, hydroxycarbonates, hydroxychlorides, and even fresh cupric hydroxide can be some shade of blue-green. … Thus, the uncertainty in the computed copper concentration in equilibrium with malachite is at least about a factor of 2 … until further experimental data focusing on this problem is generated.” In other words, “do your math and then double how much Cu++ you think is going to be in the water, just in case.” So that gives us 11.6ppm Cu++, at equilibrium, with malachite in a (til now!) healthy vagina. • Next step: do we have any idea what happens to bacteria in acid conditions with copper? OH MY GOD WE TOTALLY DO. Gyawali et al 2011 checked this out in the context of “so what if we rinsed tomatoes with a solution of lactic acid and copper, because that would be a safe & organic way to get rid of E. coli?” So now this post has officially ruined stalactites, vaginas, and tomatoes. ^This would happen. These are the counts of 4 E. coli strains exposed to various levels of lactic acid & Cu++ for 8 hours. This table only shows the end counts but it represents the death of 99.7% of bacteria*. • Losing 99.7% of your vaginal flora is seriously bad news. You’re looking at really good odds of a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, and/or other infection issues. And that’s if you’re lucky enough to not be in the 4% of the population or so that’s sensitive to skin contact with copper. • The good news? Biochemically speaking, you’re probably ok to put it in your butt. It’s not as acidic or salty in there, plus there’s a huuuuuge stockpile of gut microbes right upstream that can quickly repopulate the colon after spelunking is complete. However this stalactite is not flared at the base so it is the wrong shape for putting in your butt. Do not put this stalactite in your butt. • This all looks like fun and games, but I think it’s really interesting that the internet’s mistake in concluding that this stalactite is fuckable is very similar to the mistake made by the Flint water management system. Hear me out. • Central to the Flint lead poisoning crisis is that authorities only looked at & tested Flint’s water in its central treatment plant before it went out through the pipes. Not after it went through the pipes. They did not consider what would happen biochemically as it went through the pipes and metals started dissolving. • Similarly, in concluding that the stalactite is fuckable, the internet only considered the stalactite itself. Not the biochemical processes that would happen to it as it, welp, went through the pipes. • Media frequently reports that the Flint River’s water is “corrosive,” leading many to believe the river is full of industrial waste. This ain’t the case. You’d need industry to fill a river with industrial waste, and industry left decades ago. That’s why Flint’s so poor. So what IS in the water? Road salt. Plain old stupid road salt. The old Detroit-based source didn’t have salt because it came from Lake Huron which has a large, mostly rural watershed. Meanwhile the Flint River runs through a lot of towns, making it slightly salty as everything melts down in spring. And as we recall from the stalactite experience, a little salt is all it takes to get metals to dissolve. • Information on this engineering problem was not coming through clearly from the engineering or chemistry sides. It took a biologist, pediatrician Mona Hanna-Attisha, to document the real-time results and provide the data to kick-start a high-level investigation. • Morals of the story: when dealing with a biological system pls consider asking a biologist, your vagina and/or city could depend on this• Pls use a condom when fucking any water-soluble material• Still don’t put the stalactite in your butt -3/10 do not recommend OK, I haven’t reblogged this before now but the final post takes it to a whole new level and I can no longer resist.  fine, this is the Best Tumblr Post What a wild fucking ride. I LOVE YOU SCIENCE TUMBLR IT GOT BETTER!!!! Ahem. @buzzfeed things have gotten (even) more interesting on the malachite fucking front. tumblr is an incredible social networking website
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prismatic-bell: attackonrwbytailonline: therobotmonster: kuroba101: prismatic-bell: HERE’S THE THING THOUGH I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.” So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is “No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.” I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear: “Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.” I accidentally called the director of the FBI. My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon. This is my new favourite story. When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified. There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.  The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.  During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.” So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.  I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing. So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by… “Uh… Is Shantavia there?” It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States. There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink. The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.  These are my two favorite stories IT GOT BETTER I SALUTE YOU, RED PHONE PERSON : awkward. @howtobeprada imagine if you called the wrong number and "mom?" "no this is Morgan freeman" Reply Retweet Favorite prismatic-bell: attackonrwbytailonline: therobotmonster: kuroba101: prismatic-bell: HERE’S THE THING THOUGH I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.” So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is “No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.” I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear: “Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.” I accidentally called the director of the FBI. My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon. This is my new favourite story. When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified. There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.  The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.  During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.” So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.  I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing. So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by… “Uh… Is Shantavia there?” It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States. There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink. The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.  These are my two favorite stories IT GOT BETTER I SALUTE YOU, RED PHONE PERSON

prismatic-bell: attackonrwbytailonline: therobotmonster: kuroba101: prismatic-bell: HERE’S THE THING THOUGH I used to work for a call...

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