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Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683) No.46363786 Anonymous 18 min. ago >be me >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie mom and son come up >absolute units, their hands were fucking round perfectly fucking round, like a baseball little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they came back from Walmart after getting a fish poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the fish food one of those families that has each family member go up to order for themselves hate these kinds of families mama blob starts ordering out of breath from standing in line >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest while ordering could have fucking swore i heard the counter rumble yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant* big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a large diet coke sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the table breathes in sharply struggles to take elbows off of table finally accomplishes the task finally accomplishes the task two huge wet marks take up the register section those are her fucking elbows her elbows actually fucking sweated little blob comes up to order "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries.. *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet Coke *pant* brings fish bowl out onto counter "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate *pant* milkshake >a fucking fishbowl sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill things that aren't McDonalds cups mama blob starts throwing a tantrum "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT TO HIM" maam, we cann >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER go get manager >he just repeats what I said tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to fill it if she wants "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!" "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!" >me and manager stare at each other did she really just say that mama blob sees us looking at each other cont. whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time just looking at us >mama blob hears something turns her body to look backward >a gentle greasy breeze hits me >sees a couple people snickering turns back around "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!" >me and manager stay silent tears start to well up in her eyes could have just been sweat though face turns redder grabs her son's hand "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!" >something deep down told me that wasn't true >pulls her son's hand waddles out hear her panting as she opens the door notice something >me and manager both notice it look at each other there was something brown in the middle of Hammy's ass could it be could it fucking be look at her legs brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg >she sharted >she actually fucking sharted and left a brown trail had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5 minutes janitor almost puked cleaning it up Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake

Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake

Ass, Bitch, and Bruh: When you at the doctor gettin a physical and he go to grab ya balls bruh if you get a physical and your doctor is a female, it’s the worst. Lemme set the scene for y’all. 5th grade, a young nigga is playing football every weekend after school. My team was the Vikings and our quarterback was some ass, so we were a pretty good representation of the NFL team. Anyway I needed to submit a physical before practices began. So my mom swerve up to a doctors to get a physical. Whole time during the car ride I’m thinking: “Wow, some random ass nigga is gon fondle my ballsack.” Luckily and sadly that wasn’t the case. So I get called in to go next and we walk back to the doctors room. The doctor inside the room is a 30 year old white dude so I’m like, “Ay no homo.” “Huh?” He goes. “I just had to say that before we begin.” They do the standard heart beat and ear checks and shit right. Then all of sudden the doctor says, “Mom, if you’d like to step out, another doctor will be in to do the rest.” So now I’m hyperventilating like fucking spongebob cause I thought ol dude was the one who was gon fondle me word to my uncle. But nah that wasn’t the case. So I’m sitting in the room by myself waiting for this other doctor to come in when the door opens. Ight so when I say this bitch was a pornstar in the making, I’m not exaggerating 🚫🧢 . Her face was a 9 and her body an 11 word to George Bush. And her fucking white coat was open just enough to see her cleavage word to sedimentary rocks. “Hi!” she says. “Go ahead and drop your pants for me and we can begin.” So me being me, I drop my pants and stand there in my underwear like a dumbass. She laughs at me and my ears get hot. “Those too.” She said. So slowly I drop my shit right, and now she gets on her knees in front of me. BOYYYYYYYY do you know how difficult it is to make your dick soft again when it hard? So she puts on gloves and grabs my nuts like it’s a fucking bowl of popcorn. “Look right and cough for me.” I tried to cough but I whimpered instead 💀 i was focusing so hard on NOT being hard. It was like my dick was a metalloid. Anyway she released her grip and I finally started breathing again. I pulled my pants up so fucking fast. Anyway moral of the story is, Naruto is stronger than Goku

bruh if you get a physical and your doctor is a female, it’s the worst. Lemme set the scene for y’all. 5th grade, a young nigga is playing f...

College, Destiny, and Drake: Drake Has A Heart of Gold: Donates Thousands Of Dollars to People in Need @balleralert Drake Has A Heart of Gold: Donates Thousands Of Dollars to People in Need- Blogged by @tktrinidad ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The “6 God” Drake has been very busy lately. While filming his latest music video, “God's Plan” in Miami, he went on a good samaritan giveaway spree. First, he gave a check to a women’s homeless shelter for $50,000, according to CapitalXtra. Then the Canadian artist gave $50,000 to 20-year-old Destiny James, a first-generation college student, raised by a single parent in a low-income area. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ James wrote on Instagram, “I was contacted this weekend about doing a video speaking about where I come from, things I’ve been through, and why it is so important for scholarship donors to continue to donate. This was the surprise the whole time. Drake told me that he has read great things about me and appreciates how hard I’ve worked through so many trials and decided to give me $50K for my tuition. @champagnepapi THANK YOU SO MUCH!!. You don’t understand what this means to me! I would’ve never imagined this happening to me. I’m just a girl from Denmark, SC that wants to MAKE IT and be somebody and for you to see my hard work means the world. Thank you so much. God, I thank you. You are so great and amazing! Thank you for blessing me when I thought my hard work was going unnoticed.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The Champagnepapi wasn't done yet though. He also gave $25,000 to the Miami area high school, where he filmed part of his video and a collection of OVO-designed school uniforms to Miami Senior High School. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Later on, he even paid for everyone’s groceries at Sabor Tropical Supermarket, totaling to about $50,000 in food. Customer Guille Deza told E! News, “No one knew he was coming at all, we just came to do groceries. Cameras were being set up so we were all wondering what was to happen.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ According to Deza, the rumor is that the giveaways will be part of the “God’s Plan” video.

Drake Has A Heart of Gold: Donates Thousands Of Dollars to People in Need- Blogged by @tktrinidad ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The “6 God” Drake has ...