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This is a college app essay from 1994: Aspen: L x My Drive X How did X M Inbox (3 x 9) Promote X O paws.kettering.edu/-jhuggins/humor/essay.html * Apps * Bookmarks Planoo % This is an essay written by Hugh Gallagher when applying to New York University He graduated from NYU in May 1994 In 1995, thas esay was reprinted in The Guardian Imported From IE The Ut % A Pinkerton Academy Turmitin-Originalit. Adisplay jmage.chp Are there arny significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realised, that have helped to defina you as a person? Cer bockeaes I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, makng them mocse efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiendy. Occasonally 1 tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and god-like trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and l cook ThiryMinute Brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-bhandedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a borde of ferocious anmy ets1 play bluegrass cello...I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When Im bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I eajoy urban hang- gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corducoy evening wear. L cct peopre, I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a travelling centrifugal force demonstration My deft Aloral arrangements have earned me fame in intermational botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day nd vil had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA I sleep once a week, whenI do sleep, 1 I balance, I wveave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. ibreed prize-wining sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. 1 have played Hamlet, I have perfioemed ATHL open heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet gone to college. 1 AM 123209 Return to Jim Huggins' Humor Page last update: 26 December 1997 TCASSROOM HA OFN 7 This is a college app essay from 1994
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When you’re carrying the conversation. I think I ended it pretty well. What do you think?: Friday 5:52 pm Нey Hey how's it going? X Pretty good you? Not too bad. Just haveing a relaxing Friday night tbh. You up to much? Nope just did chores and now making some food and will relax Sounds like a good Friday night to me. So what are you studying at uni? Doing my masters in occupational therapy Oh sweet. You in your final year? just started I've just gotten out of uni. Graduated this year. I'm originally from Scotland so moved down for a grad job. Oh nice! So how long have you been in for? Ithink about 7/8 weeks Sweet. I've been here for about 3 months now. How you finding it so far? Ahhh nice! Not too bad So where abouts in Canada are you from? Vancouver Been to America but never Canada. Would love to go some time. What did you get up to over there? Lots of sports, hanging with my dog and getting outside Today 2:18 pm Any sports in particular? I really like basketball. Was great to see the Toronto raptors wining it Today 2:58 pm Yes curling, softball and Pickleball. Nice Would like to have tried ice hockey tbh. Always looks good fun, but a bit painful at times. Yeah I skate a bit but never played hockey I've heard it's pretty much a religion in Canada. Don't know how true that is tho. It's pretty true My brother did say it was when he was there a few weeks ago. So what all have you been up to lately? Not too much mainly school You got exams and all that fun stuff coming up soon? No our course is all assignment based Oh, what a dream! I wish my degree was like that. Spent too many a coffee fuelled night in the library because of them. Ahhh Yeah my last degree was like that but I'm happy there are no exams I don't have to get exam anxiety What was your last degree? I did two as well. Dropped out of the first one. Did chemical physics and thought sod this after two years. I did my bachelors in kinesiology What's that? Never heard of it? Today 4:19 pm Study of human body and human movement Ah that's pretty cool. Must say, my back is killing me at the moment. Well can't really do anything for you Na it's not physically hurting, more metaphorically as I've been carrying this conversation. Sent Type a message GIF When you’re carrying the conversation. I think I ended it pretty well. What do you think?

When you’re carrying the conversation. I think I ended it pretty well. What do you think?

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When you're carrying the conversation. I think I ended it pretty well. What do you think?: Friday 5:52 pm Неу Hey how's it going? X Pretty good you? Not too bad. Just haveing a relaxing Friday night tbh. You up to mnct? Nope just did chores and now making some food and will relax Sounds like a good Friday night to me. So what are you studying at uni? Doing my masters in occupational therapy Oh sweet. You in your final year? 1I just started I've just gotten out of uni. Graduated this year. I'm originally from Scotland so moved down for a grad job. Oh nice! So how long have you been in for? I think about 7/8 weeks Sweet. I've been here for about 3 months now. How you finding it so far? Ahhh nice! Not too bad So where abouts in Canada are you from? Vancouver Been to America but never Canada. Would love to go some time. What did you get up to over there? Lots of sports, hanging with my dog and getting outside Today 2:18 pm Any sports in particular? I really like basketball. Was great to see the Toronto raptors wining it. Today 2:58 pm Yes curling, softball and Pickleball. Nice Would like to have tried ice hockey tbh. Always looks good fun, but a bit painful at times. Yeah I skate a bit but never played hockey I've heard it's pretty much a religion in Canada. Don't know how true that is tho. It's pretty true My brother did say it was when he was there a few weeks ago. So what all have you been up to lately? Not too much mainly school You got exams and all that fun stuff coming up soon? No our course is all assignment based Oh, what a dream! I wish my degree was like that. Spent too many a coffee fuelled night in the library because of them. Ahhh Yeah my last degree was like that but I'm happy there are no exams I don't have to get exam anxiety What was your last degree? I did two as well. Dropped out of the first one. Did chemical physics and thought sod this after two years. I did my bachelors in kinesiology What's that? Never heard of it? Today 4:19 pm Study of human body and human movement Ah that's pretty cool. Must say, my back is killing me at the moment. Well can't really do anything for you Na it's not physically hurting, more metaphorically as I've been carrying this conversation. Sent Type a message... GIF When you're carrying the conversation. I think I ended it pretty well. What do you think?

When you're carrying the conversation. I think I ended it pretty well. What do you think?

Save