Xanax



                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Tosses
        

            
            Tosses
        

    

    

         
Tosses

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        The
        

            
            The
        

    

    

         
The

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Take A Chill Pill
        

            
            Take A Chill Pill
        

    

    

         
Take A Chill Pill

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        And
        

            
            And
        

    

    

         
And

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Rapeing
        

            
            Rapeing
        

    

    

         
Rapeing

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         polishing
        

            
             polishing
        

    

    

         
 polishing

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         chilled
        

            
             chilled
        

    

    

         
 chilled

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         jeffe
        

            
             jeffe
        

    

    

         
 jeffe

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         pill
        

            
             pill
        

    

    

         
 pill

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        state
        

            
            state
        

    

    

         
state

    



                
            

        

    
    

        🔥 | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Bill Clinton, Bitch, and Driving: l Verizon
 5:49 PM
 0 * 42%
 whats-an-egg
 /
 safety-offcer-barto
 Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney's
 funniest bit" is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure
 and I will not stand for it
 officialqueer
 The overlooking of "The One Thing You Can't
 Replace" is a criminal act.
 jewishdragon
 LISTEN, I WAS JUST WATCHING JOHN
 MULANEY AND I RAISE YOU
 DUCKLINGS!
 bisexualgambit
 HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA
 AIRLINES????
 kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd
 Bill Clinton Never
 Forgets A Bitch, Ever
 safety-officer-barto
 The responses to this post have been so
 amazing because it's reminded me, and I'm
 sure many others, of just how many hilarious
 bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd
 incendiarysongbird
 okay, but eighth graders
 doorstoplord
 could be a nursery
 awesomealfry
 being 12 years old on anotger continent is a
 great alibi
 starry-nightengale
 "Why buy the cow, question mark?"
 gadgethewolf
 THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE
 apartmentofstabs
 And then. He ordered one black coffee for
 himself
 And kept driving
 spectralbarbhollano
 LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT
 FEMININE HIPS
 silly-slacker-person
 "We gon play jacks down at the soda fountain"
 NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE TALKING
 ABOUT YOU IDIOT
 Y'know, how you talk to your grandma?
 ghettoinuyasha
 hello? HUSH
 bakvvas
 Eat assy buck a dick,
 and bell druugs
 mellowstarscape
 THEREISAHORSE
 LOOSE
 INTHE
 HOSTPITAL
 Source: safety-officer-barto
 82,341 notes >
 anduinsholydick
 Tailor
 Automatic Screenshot Stitching
I’m sorry but there is a Norwegian cruise liner leaving for Martinique and my plan is we both get very dressed up, including hats
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Bill Clinton, Bitch, and Driving: l Verizon
 5:49 PM
 0 * 42%
 whats-an-egg
 /
 safety-offcer-barto
 Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney's
 funniest bit" is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure
 and I will not stand for it
 officialqueer
 The overlooking of "The One Thing You Can't
 Replace" is a criminal act.
 jewishdragon
 LISTEN, I WAS JUST WATCHING JOHN
 MULANEY AND I RAISE YOU
 DUCKLINGS!
 bisexualgambit
 HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA
 AIRLINES????
 kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd
 Bill Clinton Never
 Forgets A Bitch, Ever
 safety-officer-barto
 The responses to this post have been so
 amazing because it's reminded me, and I'm
 sure many others, of just how many hilarious
 bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd
 incendiarysongbird
 okay, but eighth graders
 doorstoplord
 could be a nursery
 awesomealfry
 being 12 years old on anotger continent is a
 great alibi
 starry-nightengale
 "Why buy the cow, question mark?"
 gadgethewolf
 THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE
 apartmentofstabs
 And then. He ordered one black coffee for
 himself
 And kept driving
 spectralbarbhollano
 LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT
 FEMININE HIPS
 silly-slacker-person
 "We gon play jacks down at the soda fountain"
 NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE TALKING
 ABOUT YOU IDIOT
 Y'know, how you talk to your grandma?
 ghettoinuyasha
 hello? HUSH
 bakvvas
 Eat assy buck a dick,
 and bell druugs
 mellowstarscape
 THEREISAHORSE
 LOOSE
 INTHE
 HOSTPITAL
 Source: safety-officer-barto
 82,341 notes >
 anduinsholydick
 Tailor
 Automatic Screenshot Stitching
I’m sorry but there is a Norwegian cruise liner leaving for Martinique and my plan is we both get very dressed up, including hats
                    
                
            

            
            
I’m sorry but there is a Norwegian cruise liner leaving for Martinique and my plan is we both get very dressed up, including hats

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights
 Always willing to make a rain
 Laughs at medioore jokers
 . I play s different instrument
 . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po
 Very optimistic when hungover
 Friendship bracelets
 Can drive a stick shift
 I got bars
 Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc.
 *
 Downsides
 Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse
 Will spook the customers with
 I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall
 Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them)
 .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy
 . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil
 Contributions
 Inventor
 Sauce Boss
 . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car.
 For a spill and worry free drive home
 . Part the Red Sea
 .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo
 Moses Tampons
 Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair
 mon in a floor length jean skirt
 Coined the term *Escobars
 When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax
 .Not recommended
 Education
 Bradford Elementary School
 Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee
 Mullen High School 2008-2012
 .
 Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012
 .

 Dia
 though
 Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook
 of Northem Colorado 2012-201
 Survived Greeley
 Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded
 University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017
 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting
 School blew away in Hurricane Irma
 School cut major
 Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From
 Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present
 I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne
 ver know what's going on there
 They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time
 . Laboniously diverse in that bitch
 . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever
 y day
 - They pretty much can't fire me thered
 e Intenship in Haiti 2016
 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to
 me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever
 Spent about a year total in Hait
 I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono
 Harley Davidson-St. Thomas
 . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p
 eople
 I'm very impressive at folding shirts
 Reason(s) I Dipped:
 I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas
 I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a
 d I felt really guilty about ito
 They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co
 sort of
 Local Color Clothing Boutique
 More folding, but the clothes were more expensive)
Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights
 Always willing to make a rain
 Laughs at medioore jokers
 . I play s different instrument
 . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po
 Very optimistic when hungover
 Friendship bracelets
 Can drive a stick shift
 I got bars
 Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc.
 *
 Downsides
 Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse
 Will spook the customers with
 I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall
 Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them)
 .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy
 . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil
 Contributions
 Inventor
 Sauce Boss
 . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car.
 For a spill and worry free drive home
 . Part the Red Sea
 .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo
 Moses Tampons
 Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair
 mon in a floor length jean skirt
 Coined the term *Escobars
 When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax
 .Not recommended
 Education
 Bradford Elementary School
 Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee
 Mullen High School 2008-2012
 .
 Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012
 .

 Dia
 though
 Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook
 of Northem Colorado 2012-201
 Survived Greeley
 Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded
 University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017
 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting
 School blew away in Hurricane Irma
 School cut major
 Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From
 Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present
 I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne
 ver know what's going on there
 They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time
 . Laboniously diverse in that bitch
 . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever
 y day
 - They pretty much can't fire me thered
 e Intenship in Haiti 2016
 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to
 me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever
 Spent about a year total in Hait
 I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono
 Harley Davidson-St. Thomas
 . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p
 eople
 I'm very impressive at folding shirts
 Reason(s) I Dipped:
 I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas
 I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a
 d I felt really guilty about ito
 They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co
 sort of
 Local Color Clothing Boutique
 More folding, but the clothes were more expensive)
Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work
                    
                
            

            
            
Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work