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It’s a real human being not a fricking tamagachi: kintatsujo Me: I don't know if I ever want to be pregnant, I'd rather adopt a kid or two that are a bit older Someone: Are you SURE? Older adoptees present UNIQUE CHALLENGES Me: We are discussing human beings not digital pets plenoptic07 Literally every child every born and/or parented presents unique challenges. It's like people are unique individuals...or something.. kintatsujo An amazing and revolutionary concept indigo-night-wisp When people ask me, "Why do you want to adopt teenagers?" I always answer, "Because you asked like that." I'm real over it. If I become a foster mom to a 17 year old kid and I get the privilege of the option to adopt them? You better believe I am legally making that kid mine. "They'll be a legal adult in no time, why spend the money to adopt? They'll be aged out of the system." There's no aging out of family, Marvin. "They might be rebellious or smoke or do drugs or steal things! What if they won't listen to you?" Then I guess 'll have to step up and do some fruxking parenting, Stanley. "You want to adopt problem children then?" All. Children. Are. Problem. Children. If you're not prepared to deal with the fact that at some point, any child ever, whether you birthed them yourself or adopted them at any age, could become a problem? Then you are NOT ready to have children, and should really just step off and let the people who actually want to be It’s a real human being not a fricking tamagachi

It’s a real human being not a fricking tamagachi

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Imagine explaining this to a 12 year old: 46,228 awfuldaring yvettetrujillo 2013-03-17 11:31 How To Make Love violetsunnyklaus About seven years ago, all my friends my age got married. And about three years after that, they all started having babies, which set into motion the idea that eventually they're gonna have to talk about sex to their kids. And that just freaks me out. I have cats-they were broken, but now they're fixed-so I don't have to worry about this. However, if I had the opportunity to suddenly be confronted by my son as a young man asking me for advice about sex... with girls... this is what I would say One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay. (Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.) Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks. Three: Sex is not just about friction. It's about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she'll help you find her clitoris. Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn't masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together. Five: Don't put anything in her butthole you wouldn't want in your own. (Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it's kinda awesome.) Six: When you go down on her-and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it-tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you. Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemis ms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place. Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects. Nine: Just because you come doesn't mean she has, so don't you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don't worry about gettin' yours, you're a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she's gettin' hers. Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You've got a lot of learning to do. Love, Dad. Source: marleetargaryen Imagine explaining this to a 12 year old
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