🔥 Popular | Latest

America, Ass, and England: tumblr Follow priscellie later-homenuggets my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia amour-vengeance if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait you mean to tell me this isn't even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fhy from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? lumoslouis wake up australia That's what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit kennilworthy-thisp It's cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. happyvegetable Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes millshouse why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they're going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called "swooping season" and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it's fucking brutal. sociopathic-italian-grandmas My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. gallifrey-feels no but when you're 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange ecnamor-lacimehc-ym what the actual fuck australia priscellie I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke seananmcguire Nope Went there Parrots tried to take our car Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY 587,061 notes Now thats just fowl play
Save
America, Apparently, and Ass: zornsable: reversingyourpolarity: elidyce: seananmcguire: priscellie: ecnamor-lacimehc-ym: gallifrey-feels: sociopathic-italian-grandmas: millshouse: meganiun: happyvegetable: kennilworthy-thisp: derinthemadscientist: lumoslouis: soloontherocks: amour-vengeance: later-homenuggets: my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait.  you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? wake up australia  That’s what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal. My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange what the actual fuck australia  I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke. Nope. Went there. Parrots tried to take our car. Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY. Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile. There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started.  I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool.  Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots.  Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled. They did lose the Emu War, after all.
Save
Animals, Dumb, and Food: yeezyslides i dont understand why vegans keep eating salmon like thats a gateway food to salmonella colormipretty Vegans can eat salmon? I thought they couldn't eat meat or food from animals yeezyslides well salmon isnt rlly an animal, its a fish cinnamonvenus So fish aren't animals? yeezyslides theyre not animals, theyre fish cinnamonvenus How do you define the word animal, sis? cinnamonrollwithit i'm sorry, can we take like, three steps back and look at the fact that op thinks that eating salmon is the direct cause of salmonella? tired-beans IT'S CALLED PESCETARIAN, NOT VEGAN, NOT VEGETARIAN. PESCETARIA N. FISH ARE ANIMALS, THEY EAT, THEY BREATHE, THEY SHIT, THEY REPRODUCE AHSHFJAKDJ yeezyslides 1st of all bring down ur tone 2th of all it isnt pescatarian bc fish arent part of the animal kingdom their FISH.. and u ppl call me stupid imagine being this ignornant and typing in all caps... nobody said fish dont reproduce or shit but they dont breathe bc theyre in water wtf u cant breahe underwater ur so dumb artistsregret fish IS NOUN fishes (olural noun) a limbless cold-blooded vertebrate animal with gills and fins and living wholly in water the sea is thick with sh the flesh of fish as food hot crab appetcers stuffed with fish the zodiacal sign or constellation Pisces used in names of invertebrate animals living wholly in water, eg., cuttlefish, shelfish, jellyfish. So you mean to tell me. They're not animals? yeezyslides now ur switching my words. i never said that fish arent animal artistsregret "So fish arent animals?" They're not animals, they're fish" Fish are in fact animals, I'm sorry to say. yeezyslides i dont recall sereniv this is a fucking train wreck now ur switching my words
Save
America, Hello, and Movies: Vox @voxdotcom Vox Superheroes don't wear ponytails and yes, it's sexist. Via @Racked Superheroes Don't Wear Ponvtails, and Yes <p><a href="http://cliff-snowpeak.tumblr.com/post/173777147515/libertarirynn-jurakan-libertarirynn-hello" class="tumblr_blog">cliff-snowpeak</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/173775013139/jurakan-libertarirynn-hello-darkness-my-old" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://jurakan.tumblr.com/post/173774569784/libertarirynn-hello-darkness-my-old-friend-wait" class="tumblr_blog">jurakan</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/173774527164/hello-darkness-my-old-friend" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Hello darkness my old friend</p></blockquote> <p>wait what</p> </blockquote> <p>From the article:</p> <h2>“Even today, the physical attributes and feminine beauty of superheroines are exaggerated to make them look like, well, frankly, porn stars at worst, and sexy female athletes at best”</h2> <p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>HOLY SHIT, REALLY???</p> <p>You mean to tell me that comic book movies have characters with EXAGGERATED ATTRACTIVENESS??!?!? Y’all really out here big mad because Black Widow didn’t fight Thanos with a messy bun?</p> <p>Also, porn stars? Yeah</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="675" data-orig-width="1200"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/dc3e61fc7f2c6a5151b0d1be0e432c92/tumblr_inline_p8j3l5X7K11rw09tq_1280.jpg" data-orig-height="675" data-orig-width="1200"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="600" data-orig-width="450"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/1e21407b4c5f9c05456b26f33f12ca8d/tumblr_inline_p8j3l5dudc1rw09tq_500.jpg" data-orig-height="600" data-orig-width="450"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="750" data-orig-width="494"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/06a24969b89f4bda455894d3a33b73e1/tumblr_inline_p8j3l54g0L1rw09tq_500.jpg" data-orig-height="750" data-orig-width="494"/></figure><p>Just look at these absolute thots.</p> <p>And are you really gonna pretend the physical attributes of male heroes aren’t equally exaggerated?</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="352" data-orig-width="616"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e50650fe8c64cc45a0a49b1c154c9727/tumblr_inline_p8j3qxQfVj1rw09tq_1280.jpg" data-orig-height="352" data-orig-width="616"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="853" data-orig-width="1280"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa6dd8eed0c9092897f7c5845e746eeb/tumblr_inline_p8j3qxV7gU1rw09tq_1280.jpg" data-orig-height="853" data-orig-width="1280"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="376" data-orig-width="628"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/8b4e28dfa3b90c6d993205431523a58f/tumblr_inline_p8j3qyB2DV1rw09tq_1280.png" data-orig-height="376" data-orig-width="628"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="720" data-orig-width="1280"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a3b892f91a86637ffd795f53e80755ed/tumblr_inline_p8j3qySjMW1rw09tq_1280.jpg" data-orig-height="720" data-orig-width="1280"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1065" data-orig-width="710"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/6328a5326438869b475cffd0bc37a347/tumblr_inline_p8j3qyKZhi1rw09tq_1280.jpg" data-orig-height="1065" data-orig-width="710"/></figure><p>Y’know, ‘cause every guy at Walmart has abs like Captain America.</p> </blockquote> <p>On top of all that, Wasp is sporting a ponytail in the trailers for Antman and the Wasp. We just gonna ignore that?</p></blockquote> <p>Of course they will. Just like they ignore the fact that Thor and Loki have long hair. If it doesn’t fit the narrative, it’s out.</p>
Save
America, Hello, and Movies: Vox @voxdotcom Vox Superheroes don't wear ponytails and yes, it's sexist. Via @Racked Superheroes Don't Wear Ponvtails, and Yes <p><a href="http://jurakan.tumblr.com/post/173774569784/libertarirynn-hello-darkness-my-old-friend-wait" class="tumblr_blog">jurakan</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/173774527164/hello-darkness-my-old-friend" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Hello darkness my old friend</p></blockquote> <p>wait what</p> </blockquote><p>From the article:</p><h2>“Even today, the physical attributes and feminine beauty of superheroines are exaggerated to make them look like, well, frankly, porn stars at worst, and sexy female athletes at best”</h2><p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>HOLY SHIT, REALLY???</p><p>You mean to tell me that comic book movies have characters with EXAGGERATED ATTRACTIVENESS??!?!? Y’all really out here big mad because Black Widow didn’t fight Thanos with a messy bun?</p><p>Also, porn stars? Yeah</p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="675" data-orig-width="1200"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/dc3e61fc7f2c6a5151b0d1be0e432c92/tumblr_inline_p8j3l5X7K11rw09tq_1280.jpg" data-orig-height="675" data-orig-width="1200"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="600" data-orig-width="450"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/1e21407b4c5f9c05456b26f33f12ca8d/tumblr_inline_p8j3l5dudc1rw09tq_500.jpg" data-orig-height="600" data-orig-width="450"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="750" data-orig-width="494"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/06a24969b89f4bda455894d3a33b73e1/tumblr_inline_p8j3l54g0L1rw09tq_500.jpg" data-orig-height="750" data-orig-width="494"/></figure><p>Just look at these absolute thots.</p><p>And are you really gonna pretend the physical attributes of male heroes aren’t equally exaggerated?</p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="352" data-orig-width="616"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e50650fe8c64cc45a0a49b1c154c9727/tumblr_inline_p8j3qxQfVj1rw09tq_1280.jpg" data-orig-height="352" data-orig-width="616"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="853" data-orig-width="1280"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa6dd8eed0c9092897f7c5845e746eeb/tumblr_inline_p8j3qxV7gU1rw09tq_1280.jpg" data-orig-height="853" data-orig-width="1280"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="376" data-orig-width="628"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/8b4e28dfa3b90c6d993205431523a58f/tumblr_inline_p8j3qyB2DV1rw09tq_1280.png" data-orig-height="376" data-orig-width="628"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="720" data-orig-width="1280"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a3b892f91a86637ffd795f53e80755ed/tumblr_inline_p8j3qySjMW1rw09tq_1280.jpg" data-orig-height="720" data-orig-width="1280"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1065" data-orig-width="710"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/6328a5326438869b475cffd0bc37a347/tumblr_inline_p8j3qyKZhi1rw09tq_1280.jpg" data-orig-height="1065" data-orig-width="710"/></figure><p>Y’know, ‘cause every guy at Walmart has abs like Captain America.</p>
Save
America, Ass, and England: my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait. you mean to tell me this isn't even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? wake up australia That's what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit up a lite bitn It's cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they're going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called swooping season and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it's fucking brutal My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. no but when you're 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange what the actual fuck australia Hard NOPE. 0/10 would not Australia
Save
America, Ass, and England: my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait. you mean to tell me this isn't even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? wake up australia That's what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit up a lite bitn It's cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they're going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called swooping season and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it's fucking brutal My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. no but when you're 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange what the actual fuck australia Hard NOPE. 0/10 would not Australia
Save